Rescue Me
by RJ Valentine
Summary: What might have happened to Dr Romano at the end of series 9. Will it all end well for our favourite snarky surgeon? No helicopters in sight, I promise!
1. Chapter 1

"Rescue Me" – what might have happened to Dr Romano at the end of Series 9.

A short story by RJ Valentine.

_I do not own ER, or any of its characters, (although Jessie is entirely mine!) and I only hope to present an alternative view of series 10. This is my first fan fiction, so please review!_

CHAPTER 1.

Robert slouched, absently scratching his left wrist. Sometimes he forgot that it no longer itched. He wondered what it was that Kerry wanted. Something so important that he had to cut short a particularly cutting, and enjoyable, lecture to the students about the correct use for a catheter.

He shook his head. What was happening to his life? He used to have it all; a great career, a gorgeous house, high performance car, the occasional romantic liaison – couldn't have been better. And then it happened. That night which seemed so long ago; the noise, the feel of the wind rushing through his surgeon's scrubs, then – nothing. Blackness and cold. His future changed forever in the blink of an eye.

Robert shifted position slightly and looked over towards his office (for he still thought of it as his office even though the she had usurped his position two months ago) where he could see Kerry deep in discussion with someone. Almost as if she could sense him looking, he could see her pick up the telephone. Sure enough, a couple of seconds later its twin, sitting on the desk in front of him, started to ring. The teenage receptionist glared at it for a second or two and then, almost as an afterthought, picked it up.

"Hello…" she began, and stopped, as if mesmerized. She glanced up at Robert, who could see that she had a pierced eyebrow and a sour expression. She mumbled something into the receiver and hung up the telephone.

"The doctor will see you now." She smirked at her own joke. Robert gave her his best withering look and she hastily lowered her eyes.

Robert pushed the office door open (_my_ office door, he thought savagely) and walked into the room. He was surprised to find that Kerry's guest was a young woman, and a reasonably attractive one at that. She stood as he entered the room, and subconsciously Robert straightened his back; he noticed she was nearly as tall as him. You've only got one arm, a voice in his head whispered, cruelly. Who's going to want you now?

The woman held out her right hand for Robert to shake. Kerry, too, had risen.

"This is Dr Jessie Rhodes," Kerry said, "Jessie, I'd like you to meet Dr Robert Romano."

"Pleased to meet you," Jessie smiled. Robert attempted to rearrange his facial features to resemble a smile and shook Jessie's hand, rather firmly.

"Likewise," he managed.

Kerry sat back down behind the desk and indicated that Robert should take the unoccupied chair. Jessie resumed her seat, crossing her legs smoothly.

"Robert, I think the time has come for us to talk about your future at this hospital," Kerry began. "If you're going to stay here, we need to find something productive for you to do, and from the reception you appear to be receiving down in the ER, I get the feeling that productivity isn't high on your list right now. You seem more concerned with annoying as many people as possible!"

Robert opened his mouth to speak but Kerry held up her hand and fixed him with a look that spoke volumes.

"Please Robert, let me finish, then you can have your say. Now, the board have met several times recently to discuss your, um, situation, and we feel that we have found a resolution which will hopefully be mutually beneficial. However, it does involve some degree of participation on your part. You are to be assessed." Kerry turned to face Jessie.

"Now Jessie Rhodes comes recommended to us as a rising star in the field of counselling and therapy. She…" Kerry didn't get any further; Robert's frustration had finally boiled over and he was determined to vent his feelings in her direction. It always made him feel better.

"Listen, Kerry; I am not being poked and prodded and asked pointless, stupid, theoretical, hippie questions by someone who I've never heard of, and who knows nothing about what it's like to only have one damn arm! Now, I'm sorry to waste your time, Dr Rhodes, but.." Robert's voice trailed off as he watched Jessie slide her right arm smoothly out of her jacket, and fold up her shirt sleeve to show him her forearm.

"The doctors didn't think that they could save it," she began calmly, her eyes gazing down at the thin and neat, but vicious, scar that encircled her arm three inches below her right elbow. "They didn't do too badly, all things considering."

Robert looked up at Jessie's face and her eyes met his.

"Looks like they did a fine job. Any feeling, or movement?"

"Some restricted movement," Jessie replied, looking thoughtful. "but not very much feeling," she admitted.

"Okay, so you've had an accident, but they fixed you didn't they? At least you still have an arm." Robert sat back in his chair and frowned. "In case you hadn't spotted it, mine didn't want to stay attached to my body."

Jessie ignored him and bent down. She slipped off her shoe, and gently rolled up her right trouser leg to just below the knee. Robert watched her and leaned forward again, the reproach dying on his lips as he noticed that her right leg was false.

"They couldn't save my leg," she said, almost to herself, as she stared at the prosthetic. "Well, they couldn't find enough to save anyway." With a short smile at Robert she lowered her trouser leg and located her shoe.

Robert looked at Jessie, and then at Kerry, who said nothing. She was watching Jessie. This has got to work, she thought to herself. Robert may be a grade one asshole, but he's got too much talent for the hospital to throw away. He could be a fantastic teacher; he had so much knowledge, but he needed to sort himself out, and he needed professional help to do it. Absorbed in this train of thought, she visibly jumped when her beeper went off. Glancing at the number, she rose, reaching for her crutch, which was leaning against her desk.

"If you'll excuse me for a minute," she said. "I'll be back as soon as I can." She walked to the door and hurried out.

Robert cleared his throat.

"So, what happened?" He asked Jessie, casually.

"Car accident," she replied. "Six years ago."

Robert watched Jessie's face, considering.

Were you driving?" He asked

Jessie shifted slightly, but her gaze never left his. He looks so lost, she thought. Like a little boy, the school bully, who's suddenly been hit harder than he's ever been hit before; and he doesn't know what to do. This was going to be a challenge.

"No," she said.

Robert shut his eyes and listened to the clock in the next office strike four o'clock.

"My husband was driving." Jessie dropped her eyes and looked at her lap. She ran her hand through her shoulder length hair, which settled neatly in place. Then she raised her head and looked defiantly at Robert, willing him to say something.

"Did he die?" He asked

"Yes, Dr Romano. He died."

"I'm sorry," Robert said, honestly. He paused, as if searching for something else to say. "So what happened?"

The door opened, and Kerry walked back into the office. She moved round to the desk and sat down.

"Right, sorry about that. Now where were we? Oh, yes – Robert; Dr Rhodes has studied at Oxford and Harvard and has a double Doctorate. She has established a good reputation in her field." Kerry looked at Robert. "Jessie will be working with you for six months during which you will be assessed."

Robert opened his mouth to object; more a reflex action than a need to correct the situation. Kerry interrupted him.

"Robert, listen to me. The board have decided that this is required. They need to see some evidence for keeping you in a valuable position here at County. The best way to do this would be to have you take part in an examination in order to determine your continued ability, your state of mind, your desires and frustrations. Jessie is here to ensure that this goes as smoothly as possible." She turned to face Jessie. "When do you suggest the first session?"

Jessie looked at Robert, who was staring at the floor, stony-faced. Might as well get it over with, she thought.

"How about we schedule a meeting for tomorrow?" She asked the top of Robert's head.

"Tomorrow would be fine," Robert mumbled. "How about two o'clock?" He sat back in his chair, wearing the look of the defeated.

"Excellent!" Said Kerry, briskly. She stood up and proffered her hand towards Jessie. "Delighted to meet you," she said, "I look forward to your report."

Jessie rose to her feet and slipped her arm back into her jacket. She clasped her hands together briefly and held out her right hand, fingers perfectly placed for a handshake. Robert too, stood up, and looked at Jessie. She seemed like such a together person, he thought. After all she's been through. I wonder where she's from….England I reckon, although there's some American accent in there.

Jessie turned to face Robert.

"I look forward to working with you, Dr Romano." She smiled and shook his hand. Then she picked up her briefcase and left the room. The door shut quietly behind her.

Robert stared at Kerry. His face was unreadable.

"I suppose," he began, "it could have been a hell of a lot worse."

Kerry allowed herself a small smile.

"Some of the other propositions…. You wouldn't want to know, Robert."

Robert sighed, and moved to scratch his left wrist again. He caught himself in time and shook his head. Nodding briefly at Kerry, he left her office, nearly managing not to slam the door.

Kerry sat down and thought about what had just happened. She wondered if she might just have saved Robert's butt. And then she wondered whether in doing so, she was going to cause more trouble for herself than she knew what to do with…….


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2.

Jessie walked into the hospital with a touch of trepidation. She knew that she could do this particular assignment, she just didn't know if she wanted to. She'd heard an awful lot about Dr Robert Romano since she'd moved to Chicago, and she knew that most of it was true. He was, by all accounts, a nasty piece of work. There were sexual harassment cases, reports of bullying, racist and homophobic views, a touch of misogyny; he wasn't a guy to hang around with. But, she admitted, there were also many good stories about the man. He was credited with being an excellent surgeon – one of the best in the state – there were countless stories of his skill and dexterity with a blade. But now, well, who knew what type of man he was now. Yes, Jessie thought, this was going to be one hell of a ride.

She delved in to her bag, and found her pass. Clipping it to her jacket, she made her way down the endless corridors to the psychology department. Here, they had set up a small office for her during her stay at County. In addition to Robert, she had several other patients, and her bosses had felt that a stay at County would help her develop her knowledge and skills. Normally she was based at one of the other hospitals in the city, but, she supposed, a change was as good as a rest.

The office itself wasn't bad. Although it was only slightly larger than a cupboard, it housed everything Jessie thought that she would need during her time here. There was a desk, and a couple of chairs, a filing cabinet and, at Jessie's request, a water cooler. The view wasn't too awful, either. She could just make out the city past the wall facing her window.

Jessie smiled to herself and set down her belongings. She had brought a small picture of her family back in England, which she placed on the desk. A fresh, modern arty print was quickly put up on the wall, thanks to the picture hook she had also asked for. It was a reasonably expensive piece; she had bought it with her first paycheck and it went with her wherever she practised. Kind of superstitious, she thought, but she felt that it signified her achievements so far, and she always felt encouraged and inspired when she looked at it.

Satisfied that everything was where it should be, Jessie settled down and considered going for a walk to see if she could get a nice cup of coffee, or even, if she was very lucky, a cup of tea. She missed tea; the Americans didn't understand how to make it, and she often asked her parents to send over supplies when she was feeling homesick.

The door to her office opened, as she was making up her mind, and Robert walked in. He looked as if he would rather be anywhere else. Excellent, Jessie thought, what fun this is going to be.

"Good afternoon, Doctor." Robert said. He was wearing a shirt and trousers and his doctors coat. His artificial arm was sat in a sling against his chest. Sometimes this felt more comfortable. He slid onto one of the chairs opposite Jessie and waited for her to begin.

"Hello, Dr Romano," Jessie said smoothly, reaching in her handbag. She removed a glasses case, and put on her glasses, using one hand, Robert noticed. He figured that she had probably had lots of practice.

Jessie opened up the files and looked at Robert.

"So where would you like to start?" She asked. "I'm sure you've got lots of questions for me."

Robert shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but kept eye contact.

"I guess you're left-handed then," he inclined his head towards her arm.

"Yes, Dr Romano, I'm a lefty." Jessica replied, "just as well, really." She picked up her pen, and made a few notes on her pad. "What else?"

"Are you going to tape our conversations, like a shrink does?" Robert smirked. He made to look around as if trying to find a tape recorder. "I'm sure Kerry would love to hear my, what was it – desires and frustrations?"

Jessie returned his smile, relaxing a little.

"No, we're not going to tape all of them. There may be a few exercises or questionnaires, or particular tasks I want you to do which may need to be taped, or filmed. But for the most part it's just you and me and my Parker pen." She tapped the end of the pen on the paper for emphasis. "You will need to continue your physical exercises twice a week and I would like you to share with me how you feel during them, and what you achieve. It's a very different life, having only one arm, and you need time and help to live normally."

"Normally?" Robert snorted. "Yeah, right. When is anything ever going to be normal again?" He met Jessie's gaze, and she could see the pain behind his eyes.

"Why don't you tell me what happened, Dr Romano?" Jessie suggested, gently.

"Hey!" Robert said, "I thought I was the one asking questions!"

Jessie nodded, conceding the point. Robert smiled at her and played with the sleeve of his coat.

"So, where are you from? I detect an English accent in there, but some of your words are very American." He asked.

"I am from England, yes." Jessie replied. "I'm from a small village half way between London and the South Coast; you probably don't know it"

"Try me." Robert answered. "I spent some time in England several years ago. Brought back one of the ER surgeons with me as a matter of fact." He smiled, thinking of Elizabeth.

Jessie noticed the wistful look on Robert's face and wondered what he was thinking about.

"A place called Frensham; south of London." She said. "You probably haven't heard of it."

Robert admitted that he hadn't, but mentioned several towns and cities not too far away.

"Close enough," Jessie admitted. She pushed her glasses back up onto her nose, from where they'd started to slip. Robert caught the gesture and another question formed in his mind.

"So before we move on to my favourite topic of conversation – how I lost my arm – why don't you tell me a bit about your accident. Seeing as we're here to talk honestly." He stood up and moved to the water cooler. "Want some?" He asked.

Jessie nodded and waited until he had filled two plastic cups and sat down before she spoke. When she did, it was honest and direct. She spoke of how she married her husband at a very young age; she was just out of Oxford. He took her to America; to his home state of Missouri, and she obtained her green card. She had just graduated as a civil engineer; one of only two girls in her class. And she wanted to join a firm which, she felt, would encourage her career and turn her into a world class engineer. But Alex, her husband, had wanted her to join his family firm, which was run by his father; who thought that Jessie was wasting her time with her career when she should be having babies and keeping house. It was a constant battle, and Jessie had had to find temporary work in the meantime.

The couple had started to have arguments, soon after moving to America. Alex had begun to work longer hours at the family firm, and Jessie suspected he was having an affair. She also believed that he had started drinking heavily. Their relationship continued to deteriorate until the final argument, one sunny summer's day, driving to his parents for Sunday lunch.

"Alex had been drinking all morning, and I didn't know. He insisted on driving." Jessie toyed with her now empty plastic cup and Robert rose and refilled it without a word. She accepted it with a nod of thanks. "I guess I should have noticed, but I was so preoccupied – see – I thought I was pregnant." She paused, and took a sip of her water. Robert noticed that she was trembling ever so slightly.

"So what happened?" He asked, quietly.

Jessie took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"He was shouting at me. He told me that he was cheating on me. That he didn't love me and wasn't sure if he ever had. I didn't know what to say; I was shocked; confused, and thinking about the possibility that I might be having the baby of a man who didn't want to be with me.

"I spoke without thinking. I blurted out: 'But you can't leave me; I'm pregnant', and that's when all hell broke loose." Jessie confessed, her eyes on the paper in front of her. "He grabbed my throat with his left hand, so he was really leaning across at me. The car swerved and as I watched, we seemed to drift slowly across the road. All I could hear was Alex, shouting and swearing. He was looking at me, he wasn't looking at the road." She shrugged. "Sometimes I wonder if it was my fault – if I hadn't have distracted him, it would never have happened."

Robert looked encouragingly at Jessie, willing her to finish the story. He knew it was tough reliving what had happened – he had woken up three times the last week with nightmares about his accident - and he wondered how many times she had told her story. And if it ever got any easier.

"There was a lorry coming the other way; a big articulated truck. It hit us almost directly head on, and the car seemed to spring up of its own accord, it sort of slid down the left hand side of the truck, my side was jammed up against the crash barrier. I remember a sound of screeching so loud I thought my head was going to explode, and the car seemed to peel open like a can of tuna.

"That was when I looked round and saw that the left hand side of the car had gone – all I could see were the wheels of the truck." Jessie hesitated, and briefly shut her eyes. "Then there was the pain," she continued, touching her right forearm gently. "I was almost spun around and all I could hear was this screeching noise, and then, I guess, I blacked out."

She opened her eyes, and looked directly at Robert.

"The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. Three weeks had passed. The doctors had managed to save my right arm, but my right leg was missing below the knee. I was lucky to be alive. I'd also got broken ribs, a fractured skull, and God knows what else. I never saw Alex's body. His family had buried him whilst I was in the hospital." Jessie sneered at the memory of her late husband's family. "They never even came to see me."

Robert whistled softly.

"Wow." He said. "In-laws from hell, eh? Looks like you got off lightly!" He smiled at Jessie, who thought about what he had said and then smiled back.

"Yeah, I guess it could be worse," she admitted, "I could still be related to them!"

They were still laughing when Robert's pager went off. He scrabbled to find it. Jessie stopped giggling and looked at her watch. It was nearly half past three. They had spent the entire session talking about her.

"So, anyway, what were we saying?" Robert asked as he turned his pager off, and settled back down into his seat.

"Have you seen the time?" Jessie enquired. "I have another session at four. We've already wasted this one – I don't have a single note about you from the past hour and a half – look!" She indicated the paper in front of her. "We're going to have to schedule another session this week. I think that in order to present a complete case to the board, I'm going to have to see you twice a week." She looked at Robert over her glasses. " Will that interfere with your work?"

Robert shrugged. He had enjoyed the session – after all; they hadn't been talking about him – and anything was better than the empty house that greeted him at the end of a shift.

"How about I give you details of my shift pattern for the next month, and we work around that?" He asked.

"Sounds good to me," Jessie replied.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3.

Robert groaned to himself as yet another patient was wheeled in to the ER. He was already five minutes late as it was. It was a busy Thursday evening and it seemed that every man and his dog was injured or sick or needing his help.

He watched as Dr Kovac skilfully managed the patient. He was a good doctor, Robert thought. Damn him for being so good looking too – that was really unfair. Robert shook his head – he could have done with a touch of whatever Kovac had - things weren't going his way at all at the moment. Elizabeth seemed to be totally uninterested in anything he had to say – she had already blown him out twice this week, when all he had asked for was a coffee and a bit of company. And then that Dorsett guy had turned up and that was it – Robert might as well have been dog food for all the attention he got. He knew they were seeing each other – Elizabeth had been evasive and cagey when he'd casually mentioned it. Sometimes it sucked being in love with Elizabeth and only having one arm. Other times it _really_ sucked.

"Dr Kovac, I have a prior appointment, I'm sure you can manage." Robert met Kovac's gaze over the patient, cursing the fact that he had to look up a good six inches to do so.

"Of course, Dr Romano," smiled Kovac, who was feeling particularly benevolent towards his boss as he'd just been able to swap his shift and could shortly go home and sleep for the next twenty four hours. "We'll be fine here."

Robert nodded and turned on his heel. He made his way out of the ER, and through the hospital. He made his way towards Jessie's office, humming to himself. He was quite enjoying Jessie's sessions, even though he'd been determined not to. Jessie was interesting to be with, and interested in what he had to say (made a change from the fools he had to work with, he acknowledged). She wasn't bad to look at either, he admitted to himself, as he strolled through the corridors. She was, he guessed, about thirty; slim and dark haired, with big brown eyes, and a ready smile. Obviously not his Lizzie, but definitely pleasant enough.

When he reached her office, he knocked tentatively on the door and was about to push it open, when he noticed a note stuck to the doorframe.

_Dr Romano – I've gone to the ER to find you – you're nearly ten minutes late!_

Said the note. Robert swore softly under his breath – he'd probably crossed Jessie's path in the elevator; he might have missed her by seconds. He turned on his heel and made his way back towards the ER, grumbling quietly to himself.

When he got to the ER, he stopped short. Jessie was there, talking to Dr Kovac, who was looking as if he was ready to go home. They both looked happy and he could have sworn that Jessie was giggling. Why did he have to have all the women? Robert thought. Just because Kovac was tall, dark and handsome – why were there never any fairy stories written about short, balding geniuses like him? Then he stopped – why should it matter who Jessie chose to talk to? He only had eyes for Elizabeth - there was no-one else. Robert considered the point as he walked towards Jessie. He presumed that the feelings of jealousy stemmed from the fact that Jessie was his doctor, he was her patient, and sharing her with the idiots in the ER was just wrong.

Jessie noticed Robert approach, and smiled in his direction.

"Hey, Romano. There you are. I was wondering where you'd got to, but Luca said that you had already left the ER so I thought I'd wait for you to come back."

"You two know each other?" Robert asked, sneering at Kovac.

"Luca and I are both taking Spanish lessons," Jessie smiled, deliberately ignoring Robert's tone. "We were just discussing this week's homework." She smiled at Kovac and touched his arm. "See you on Monday, Luca. Adios!" She said. Turning away from Kovac, she walked towards Robert. Kovac nodded at Robert, and smiled, as if sharing a secret. Robert returned the gesture but did not smile. He could do without Kovac thinking that he was jealous when, of course, that was the most ridiculous idea. Kovac waved farewell to the ER in general and sauntered out, not noticing the half dozen female patients who glanced at him as he passed.

"…..something a bit different," Jessie was saying.

"W..What?" stammered Robert. He hadn't heard anything she had said because he'd been preoccupied thinking about her with Kovac.

"I said that I think this session should be something a bit different," Jessie repeated.

Robert nodded assent. He was used to this by now. The past six weeks since they had begun the sessions had proved interesting and varied. They hadn't spent the whole time talking about him. There had been physical challenges; quizzes and questionnaires to complete; short videos to watch, and once she had asked him to draw, with crayon, his feelings about the accident. He had worn down the black crayon whilst hardly touching the others. That had been a particularly therapeutic session for him and he had gone home and cried; but he hadn't been able to tell Jessie that just yet.

"Why don't I follow you for an hour in the ER?" Jessie asked. She produced a clipboard and a pen and waved them in front of Robert. "See, I can take notes on the move!"

Robert wracked his brain trying to think of a good reason why Jessie shouldn't accompany him on his rounds. His first thought had been one of acute embarrassment – did everyone know he was being assessed? He watched as Jessie waved at one of the nurses. He shrugged; presumably some people knew about Jessie and what she did. He remembered that she'd been called to the surgical ward to talk to a patient last month, and he was sure he'd spotted her in the ER a couple of days previously. If people knew who she was, they would know that he was obviously her patient and, with luck – if he wasn't too rude to them – they wouldn't ask him stupid questions. He knew there was nothing he could do to stop them talking about him behind his back, though. Not that he cared what they thought.

"Are you ready?" Jessie was at his elbow, looking questioningly into his face. "Would it cause a problem, me being here?"

"I suppose if it did, you'd have to write about it in your report," Robert replied, grumpily. "I don't really have much choice, do I? I am here to be assessed after all."

"Excellent!" exclaimed Jessie. "Just pretend I'm like one of those audit guys. Only you don't need to be quite so rude!"

Jessie watched Robert make his way round the ER, assessing the patients and harassing the staff. He snapped at one of the nurses and ignored a patient who, he said, wasn't going to get the benefit of his wisdom until she "shut the hell up screaming". When one of the nurses pointed out that the screaming was, in all probability, due to the large piece of metal sticking out of her leg, Romano had responded "well, the solution's quite simple then, isn't it?" and stalked off.

Shaking her head in disbelief, Jessie continued to make notes. This was a side of Romano she'd not been exposed to before. Was this how he lived his life? All this anger and bitterness? Excusing herself, she wandered off until she found the nurse Robert had been shouting at earlier.

"Excuse me," She began, hesitantly, "Can I ask you something?

The nurse looked at her, strangely.

"You're doing some kind of report on Dr Romano, right?" She asked.

Jessie nodded.

"I was wondering if this is usual… I mean, does he normally talk to his staff like that?"

The nurse laughed.

"You mean he's actually _nice_ to you? Miss, either your report is very important to him, or he's got the hots for you. Romano isn't nice to anyone." She turned away. "if you ask me, that helicopter could have made our lives easier, not harder. A foot to the right…and you wouldn't need to be here."

"Thanks," Jessie said, absently. She wandered back to Robert thinking about what the nurse had said. Perhaps this assignment was going to be tougher than she'd first thought.

Jessie noticed Robert chatting to a young black guy with a prosthetic leg. The two were laughing about something, Jessie couldn't hear their conversation, and was surprised when Robert turned and pointed in her direction. The young man looked at Jessie and grinned. Jessie tapped her leg with her clipboard and smiled back at him. It seemed that Robert was able to relate to another amputee, Jessie noted. Funny, how he can talk to this guy when he seems incapable of being nice to anyone else.

The time passed quickly, and Robert was surprised to find that he enjoyed having Jessie around. She asked him intelligent, thoughtful questions, and took meticulous notes with her pen and her clipboard. Robert had just started to relax, and was in the middle of explaining to a couple of hapless medical students the proper way to suture a wound, when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Elizabeth approach.

"Robert," she said, smoothly, and not without warmth, "how are you?"

"Lizzie. So nice to see you. I'm very well considering I have to work with this bunch of idiots," Robert replied gesturing towards the students, while fixing Elizabeth with his winning smile. "What brings you down to the ER?"

"I'm here for a consult," Elizabeth replied. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ears in a gesture that made Robert's heart lurch. Then she looked over towards where Jessie was stood, quietly watching them. Jessie wasn't stupid; she'd read enough books on body language to know that Romano had feelings for this woman. She'd heard about Dr Corday, and had kept meaning to drop her a note – they were both Englishmen abroad, she figured – but had not had the time. Work at County had kept her busy.

Elizabeth held out her hand towards Jessie.

"Elizabeth Corday," she offered, "I've heard a lot about you, Dr Rhodes."

"Please, call me Jessie." They shook hands. "It's nice to meet you, Dr Corday."

"Go on, get out," Robert snarled at the medical students. "Go and hassle Dr Carter; I've had enough of you." He pushed the students out the door, and watched as the two women in his life traded information. It turned out that they had a few mutual acquaintances and that Jessie's mother had attended the same school as Elizabeth. After a minute or two, Jessie excused herself – leaving Robert and Elizabeth alone with Robert's patient. He turned away from Elizabeth and busied himself with trying to suture the patient's wound himself. It was difficult, but not impossible. One small step for man, he thought to himself.

"Well she seems nice enough," Elizabeth indicated in Jessie's direction, her smile widening as she caught sight of Dr Dorsett heading her way, a satisfied grin on his face. "You just need to remember whose side she's on."

Robert caught her looking over his shoulder and turned slightly to see what had diverted her attention. He might have guessed; the one person he really didn't want to see. Elizabeth was trying, unsuccessfully, not to look as if all her Christmases had come at once. Robert sighed to himself and tried to tie off the thread. It kept sliding through his fingers. Elizabeth watched as Dorsett winked at her through the glass door, and kept walking, in the direction Jessie had gone. She turned back to Robert, who had managed to tie the thread.

"Hey, not bad!" She admitted. The stitches could have been tighter, and neater, and the tie was sloppy and untidy, but it was a pretty good effort.

"Thanks!" Robert's smile was genuine, but it faded as he took in what she had said about Jessie, and he raised his head to look at her. "What do you mean, 'whose side she's on'?"

Elizabeth looked quizzically at Robert.

"Well, she's working for the Board, not for you. She's been hired to assess you, Robert. I'm only looking out for you as your friend." She emphasised the word _friend. _"I'm just saying that you can't trust her. Remember, if she writes you off then the Board will have no choice but to……" Elizabeth's voice trailed off as Jessie came back into the room.

"Okay, Romano," Jessie said brightly, aware that she had interrupted something, but not knowing what she could do about it. "I've got to go now; time's up. I'll see you in a couple of days?"

Robert nodded, not trusting himself to look at Jessie. He knew that what Elizabeth had said was right, but he couldn't help thinking that it was a bit harsh for her to dismiss Jessie as the enemy without really getting to know her. On the other hand, (what do you mean, the _other_ one, Robert? he thought) Jessie was here to assess him, not to make friends. He was entirely reliant on her saving his career.

"Nice to meet you, Elizabeth," Jessie was saying. The two women shook hands and Jessie walked out of the exam room, holding it open for the two medical students who were sheepishly making their way back in, followed by Chuny with the patient's pain medication and his chart.

Robert shook his head to himself and snapped out of his thoughts. He retrieved his pen from his coat pocket and reached over, scrawling his signature on the chart. Glaring at the medical students, he indicated the patient's wound.

"Right, you two – this task was so easy that even someone with only one arm could do it. Explain to me why you seem unable to sew up a simple clean wound such as this?" He turned to the patient, an old man with a sad smile and shabby clothes. "There you go, Mr Hopkins; as good as new. Now, keep the wound dry and don't stretch the stitches too much. I don't want to see you back here again, okay? I've got better things to do than look after drunks like you who seem unable to remember to look where you're going." He stormed out of the room, Elizabeth on his heels.

"Robert, that was a little harsh," Elizabeth frowned.

"Lizzie – that's the fifth time this month, that guy's come in. I'm fed up doing charity. He should be put out of his misery."

"Okay, Robert, see you later," Elizabeth said, wondering if it wouldn't be more beneficial to put Robert out of his misery. Now, where was Dorsett, she thought, as all thoughts of Robert and his predicament disappeared from her mind. Perhaps she could take him to dinner when their shifts finished?

RJW\/tmp/uploads/803452.doc


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4.

Jessie struggled to unlock the door to her apartment building without dropping her bags. She juggled keys, her briefcase, and a brown paper bag of groceries, and was on the point of putting her baggage down when she heard a shout behind her. She turned, and saw a blond woman with a cheery smile and a similar bag of shopping tucked under one arm.

"Hey, it's okay; I'll get the door," the woman said. "I live in number 6," she added.

"Thanks," Jessie replied, gratefully. "I was having problems there."

The woman pushed open the door and Jessie followed her in. Closing the door, she turned on the light switch, and Jessie could see the woman clearly for the first time.

"Have we met?" Jessie began, cautiously, as they both made their way up the stairs. "I'm Jessie Rhodes."

"Susan Lewis," puffed the woman as they wound their way up to the second floor. "I think I've seen you at County. You're the doctor who's assessing my boss." She smiled at Jessie. "Bad luck on your assignment." She smiled sympathetically, "You must have really pissed someone off to get that job."

Jessie stopped outside her door, and looked quizzically at Susan.

"I'm an Attending in the ER," Susan elaborated, "Dr Romano is my boss."

"Oh, right," Jessie nodded, understanding. "Would you like to come in for a glass of wine?"

Susan smiled.

"Give me a minute to put this lot away, and I'll be right down." She said.

Jessie nodded and unlocked her door, managing not to drop anything. She left the door on the latch and walked through the hall into the sitting room. She had lived in the apartment for nearly a year now, having bought it after finally deciding that renting was throwing good money after bad. The apartment itself was cosy and warm, and Jessie felt very much at home. It had two bedrooms; one with an en-suite toilet and shower room. There was a separate bathroom, a big lounge-diner and a decent sized kitchen with dual aspect windows. Jessie loved her kitchen. She had made a few alterations, in order that she could cook with ease – it wasn't always easy with only one functioning arm. She quickly unpacked the shopping and found a bottle of red wine.

"Hello!" called Susan from the hallway

"Just shut the door and come in!" Jessie replied. She shrugged out of her coat and shoes, and found her slippers in the sitting room. Susan poked her head round the door.

"Hey – I like what you've done with the place," Susan said. She followed Jessie back into the kitchen, where she spied the red wine on the counter. "Do you need a hand with that?" she nodded towards the bottle before realising what she'd said. "Sorry – bad choice of words," she grimaced. "I tend to speak before I think sometimes."

"Don't worry about it," Jessie grinned. "You could get a couple of glasses for me, they're in the cupboard over there."

Jessie expertly opened the wine, using a strange contraption attached to the work surface. Susan noticed. She proffered the glasses, and Jessie filled them halfway.

They wandered into the lounge and Jessie gestured towards the comfy looking brown leather sofa which nestled in the middle of the room. She arranged herself comfortably in a similar leather armchair and tucked her legs up underneath her.

"So how long have you worked at County?" Jessie asked, slowly sipping her wine. She smiled appreciatively at the glass and glanced up at Susan.

"Oh well, a couple of years," Susan replied, "but I used to work here about seven years ago. I went away for a bit."

"What happened? Did you get homesick?" Jessie looked at Susan over the top of her wine glass.

"Something like that," Susan admitted.

Jessie sighed to herself.

"I do miss England sometimes," she mused, "but to be honest, my home is here in the States and I don't think I could go back and start again over there. It just wouldn't be the same."

"Is this your family?" Susan asked, reaching for a photograph on the table. She picked it up and studied it; a much younger Jessie, maybe eighteen or nineteen. Her hair in the photograph was longer, but it was the same rich glossy brown colour she had now. Her dark brown eyes danced with excitement as she stared at the camera; a half smile on her face. Next to Jessie sat a boy who Susan presumed was her brother; younger by a few years, with braces and a shy, awkward manner. Behind the children stood their parents; both looked confident and happy. Jessie resembled her mother in looks, but she had her father's colouring.

"Yeah, we had one of those professional photos done for my Gran's 70th birthday," Jessie grinned as she remembered the day. "Michael didn't want to smile because of his braces, but my mother insisted. I decided I was going to wear my favourite dress – the photo was being taken at two o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, but I wanted to look like I was on my way to the ball! Mum told me not to be so ridiculous so I spent the rest of the morning sulking! In the end it was my Dad who suggested I wear this outfit. He said it was one of my Gran's favourites. God, it's awful, isn't it? I think I was still stuck in the eighties!"

The two women laughed, and proceeded to swap fashion disaster stories of their childhood. Susan mentioned her favourite leggings, and Jessie swore that she used to have a leotard and sweatbands from her 'Flashdance' phase. They talked for a couple of hours; finishing one bottle and starting on another. They found that they had quite a lot in common.

Feeling hungry, Jessie rose from the sofa and strolled into the kitchen to get some snacks.

"So, what's it really like, having Romano as a patient?" Susan asked, from the lounge.

Jessie smiled. She had wondered what Robert's colleagues had thought of the assessment, and of her involvement in it. She knew Luca of course, only through Spanish classes though – she had long decided that he was WAY out of her league! – and she was getting to know Susan; she had some idea of how they felt about Robert, but was interested in what they had to say.

"Well, it's certainly not boring!" She grinned, thinking about their first session. It had been out of character for her to tell her own story so openly, but she knew that Romano had needed something from her before he could begin the sessions. She had shown him that she trusted him, and expected him to do the same. It had seemed to work. He'd been opening up slowly, but sometimes, Jessie felt it was like trying to prise open a can of tuna with her fingernails.

Jessie wandered back into the lounge carrying a tray with some bowls of crisps and nuts. Susan took a handful and waited for Jessie to elaborate.

"Well, let's see – what can I tell you? Or more appropriately; what am I allowed to tell you? Jessie mused, pretending to concentrate.

Susan leaned forward with anticipation.

"Well, let's see. He's certainly a character!" Jessie continued, looking at Susan and raising an eyebrow. " I can't tell you about our sessions," she said, "but we seem to be making progress. He's a lot less angry than when we first met." Jessie's voice trailed off and she smiled into her wineglass, thinking about the most recent session. Robert had been in a really cheerful mood which, to be honest, was not a frequent occurrence. He had laughed and joked and been really responsive to her questions. The session had been about the practicalities of only having one arm, and Jessie had left with several ideas for future sessions; she'd been buzzing with inspiration ever since.

"Less angry? Are you sure we're talking about the same guy?" Susan asked, incredulously. "Short, bald, miserable?" When Jessie nodded, she continued. "Romano's full of anger, Jessie. And hatred, and bitterness, and resentment. He's not a nice person." She looked at Jessie, her brow furrowed. "Last week he refused to treat a homeless guy because he said that he's already seen him twice during the previous fortnight and he still couldn't get the man's smell out of his clothes."

Susan paused and took a sip of her wine. She looked at Jessie and smiled sadly.

"The guy had internal bleeding. The wall of his heart had given way. He haemorrhaged and died. Romano just ignored him, refused to treat him and laughed when the guy said he was in pain. The man's an asshole, Jessie. Before the accident he was just a jerk; now he's a jerk with a big chip on his shoulder. We've been trying our best not to give him too hard a time, but it's so difficult when he's so nasty to everyone." She shrugged. "Maybe he's not the same when he comes to see you."

Jessie considered what Susan had said. She knew Romano was rude and nasty – that afternoon she'd spent following him round the ER had been very revealing. He'd been particularly cutting to both the medical staff and the patients, and the nurse she had spoken to had confirmed that it was his usual behaviour. There wasn't much to like about Robert Romano, but Jessie was trying to find some redeeming qualities in the man. If there were any, they were buried a long way down and she'd yet to find them.

"I appreciate what you're saying, Susan," Jessie acknowledged, "and I'm lucky that I don't have to work with him. I'm not here to make friends with him. And you're right – he is an asshole. But you have to understand though, that Romano's whole life has been turned upside down and he doesn't know what the hell he's going to do about it. It's like falling in love, or losing your job, or getting pregnant. When something comes along that completely throws you – you know?"

Susan nodded. She understood.

"And then to make matters worse," Jessie continued, "the Board of the hospital where he works has told him that he's got to spend six months with a total stranger whose job involves finding out his most hidden feelings, and who will ultimately decide whether or not he gets to keep his job. I can at least understand why he's a jerk!"

They sat in silence for a minute while each considered what Jessie had said. Eventually Susan roused herself from the sofa.

"I really must go!" she said, putting her wine glass on the table and performing a particularly painful looking stretch. "I've got to be at work in the morning."

Jessie walked Susan to the door.

"I've had an excellent time this evening," Jessie said "hopefully we can do it again soon."

"Absolutely," Susan grinned. "It's been great!"

The two women embraced, and Susan shuffled back to her apartment, singing softly to herself. Jessie giggled as she shut and locked the door; it had been a nice evening, she thought. Always good to see what someone else thinks of Romano. And nice to make a new friend. That makes two in one day. Aren't I doing well!

Smiling to herself, Jessie cast her mind back to earlier that evening. She had stopped in at the store to buy some fresh pasta on the way home and had picked up more than just shaved parmesan. His name was Craig, and they'd met in the produce section whilst she was juggling with her basket and several vine tomatoes that had chosen that exact moment to cascade across the floor.

Trying to stifle giggles, Jessie had managed to drop to one knee, and attempted to gather up the tomatoes. Suddenly she heard someone say "Oh no!" and looked up to find a man staring down at her with a look of mock horror on his face.

"I hope this one wasn't your favourite," he smiled, lifting his foot to reveal a perfectly squashed tomato stuck to the base of his shoe.

"Oh, not Fred!" Jessie cried, trying not to laugh as she struggled to her feet. The man's arm shot out and helped her get her balance. "Fred was one of the juiciest looking tomatoes I'd ever seen! What am I going to do now?"

She looked up at the man, and saw for the first time, that he was young, and, in Jessie's eyes, very nice looking. He was a little taller than she was, with collar length hair and mischievous blue eyes. He looked very smart in a business suit and carried a shopping basket over his arm, the contents of which screamed "single".

"Well, what's wrong with Craig, here?" the man asked, holding out an identical looking tomato. I understand he's house trained, and he's very well educated!"

"Yes, but can he put up shelves?" Jessie deadpanned.

The man winked at her and held out his hand

"Craig Peck, architect." He said, adding with a grin, "shelves a speciality."

The rest of the conversation had continued in the same vein and by the time Craig had asked for her number she had already decided that she was going to ask for his.

Jessie sank down on the sofa and continued to think about Craig Peck, architect. Perhaps this would be the start of something interesting?


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5.

Robert turned off the TV and watched the picture fade to black. He sighed to himself and drained the last of his wine. It had been a particularly tough day, more so than usual. Coming home to an empty house had done nothing to make him feel better. He missed his dog, Gretel. She had passed away shortly after his accident. In a way, it had been a blessing. She had been getting old – ancient in doggy terms; and if she had lived, she would have made his life even more difficult, especially with his disability.

He poured himself another glass of wine and sat in the silence of his home. He wondered whether he should sell it; did he really need three bedrooms? After all, it wasn't as if he had any friends, and there was no lady in his life, so no possibility for kids in the near future. And it was unlikely, Robert conceded, that anyone would be remotely interested in a man who couldn't even drive his car anymore. Getting rid of the Jag had been really difficult. He had bought that when he'd returned to the States from his trip to England. It'd had been a real status symbol; proving that he had reached the pinnacle of his career.

Robert thought about the possibility of selling his house and moving somewhere….. more adapted to my disability, he thought miserably. Why did it have to happen to me? Did I really deserve it? He thought about that for a bit, as he flicked on his CD player. Led Zeppelin echoed round his sitting room, thanks to the multiple speakers he'd placed around the room. Maybe he had deserved what had happened to him. He'd been living a life which was, he admitted to himself, a selfish one. He'd been answerable to no-one. He'd cared about no-one, not really. He never helped out in the soup kitchens, or given a homeless guy ten bucks. Perhaps this was God's punishment?

Nonsense, he thought to himself. What did Jessie do to deserve what happened to her? Did she really deserve to lose the use of her arm and her leg, and her husband? She wasn't a bad person; in fact, Robert thought, she was a genuinely nice person, who'd overcome adversity to make a go of her new life.

Can I do the same? He thought, sipping his wine. This bottle was a good one – he'd have to buy a few more, he decided. Perhaps give one to Jessie at the end of the six months just to say…… or, what about Lizzie! He could give her a bottle for her birthday next week. What a great idea!

Standing up, Robert walked over to the sideboard, humming to himself. He picked up the picture frame which was on the side, and looked at it for a while. It was a picture of him and Lizzie, taken several years ago, before she'd started dating Mark Greene. He'd had nothing against Mark; it had been a tragedy that he had died so young. He was younger than I am now, thought Robert. At least I'm still here to see Lizzie. He looked at the picture. Her hair was longer then (he was, he conceded, just as bald then as he was now) and she was a bit thinner, but it was still his Lizzie. She was looking at something off camera, a distracted half-frown on her brow. He was looking straight at the camera, like a rabbit caught in the headlights; he'd not been expecting to have his photograph taken. His favourite bandanna was knotted loosely round his neck, so he assumed he'd been in surgery just before the picture was taken.

Robert studied the photograph and tried to work out how long he'd been in love with Lizzie. He couldn't really remember a time when he wasn't. The last few years she'd been so much a part of his life, and yet…. she wasn't part of it at all. She'd dated Peter Benton (right under his nose – and after saying she didn't get involved with colleagues!) and then she and Mark had got married. Robert smiled, remembering when Lizzie was pregnant with Ella. How happy she'd been. He wished, suddenly and fervently, that someone would one day make him that happy. Lizzie had also suffered terribly, but he'd noticed recently that she was starting to smile again. He knew the reason. It was this Dr Dorsett.

Sneering to himself at the thought of Dorsett, Robert placed the picture back down on the sideboard. He knew now, with the arrival of Dorsett, that he'd missed his chance with Lizzie. The timing of his accident couldn't have been worse. Just after Mark had died, when he was supposed to be there for her, he'd taken his eye off the ball for one second, just one lousy second! That was all it had taken for his whole life to be hijacked, and for everything he'd taken for granted to be lost. Whipped away as quickly as his left arm by the helicopter rotor blade. And the scary thing was, that he had now accepted that Lizzie was never going to love him.

Robert sighed to himself and sat back down on his sofa. He sipped his glass of wine and let the guitar genius of Jimmy Page wash over him. His thoughts were jumbled and he absentmindedly raised his left arm to rub his forehead. When his artificial hand struck his temple, he realised his mistake. He hated his false limb, but without it he still felt a little lopsided, and he hadn't got used to the fact that he had to adjust his balance. He didn't want to walk about like Neanderthal man – it was bad enough that he was short and bald and round shouldered – no point in giving them even more to laugh at.

Robert considered again whether he had deserved what had happened to him. He had never been a particularly approachable person, and he could sometimes be a bit hard on the students; hell – and the Attendings. But, he figured, they'd never toughen up unless someone gave them hell. It might as well be him.

He wondered idly whether Jessie's report was going to save his job. What information had she been compiling over the past three months? Did he really care anymore about working at County? Was there any reason for him to stay? Perhaps he should just become a medical lecturer; or go back to school and study something else, like Jessie had done. He didn't need the money, certainly. He could easily just give his notice (although, he realised with a grimace, he'd have to tell Kerry and he could just _imagine_ her face) and quit the hospital. Or even quit Chicago… why not? This wasn't his birthplace, he had no family here and he was sure that the one or two friends who hadn't run a mile after his accident wouldn't be too sad to see him disappear off into the sunshine. Perhaps that was the answer. Perhaps he should tell Jessie not to bother continuing her report; he was leaving.

No, no, Robert thought, finishing his wine. I can't leave before the six months are up. I actually want to find out the results of this assessment and by God, they're going to tell me. And besides, he conceded, his sessions with Jessie had become the highlight of his week. Even more so than harassing the medical students. He enjoyed spending time with her. She wasn't scared of him. She didn't patronise him. She gave as good as she got and she was very quick with the verbal tennis they frequently played. She hassled him continuously and bullied him mercilessly. He rather enjoyed it.

And she'd helped him enormously by telling him where to find a wine bottle opener that could be used with one hand.

vvvvvvvvvvv

Jessie turned off the TV and watched the picture fade to black. She sighed to herself and drained the last of her wine. Another week over. Another weekend on her own. Reading the Sunday papers and visiting the deli round the corner from her apartment. Feeding the ducks on the lake. Maybe I'll visit the cinema tomorrow, she thought. There's a new Hugh Jackman movie out. I wonder if Susan would like to come with me, she mused. It'd be nice to get to know her a bit better.

She poured herself another glass of wine and sat in the silence of her home. I suppose I should finish writing up today's sessions, she thought. I'd rather not have to do it tomorrow. One of the benefits of transferring to County was that she'd been allowed to dictate her own schedule. She'd opted for a five day week, but often worked a ten or twelve hour day. For someone who worked at a hospital, this was not unusual, but Jessie was still finding her feet and sometimes she was needed outside of office hours.

How about if I just write up Romano's session, Jessie considered. Shouldn't take me more than an hour and then it's still fresh in my mind. She thought about that for a bit, as she flicked on her CD player. J S Bach flowed from the speakers.

"Ugh! Far too chilled!" Jessie grimaced. "I need something a bit… . more!"

Flicking through her CD catalogue, she found the disc she was looking for and loaded the player. She had bought the CD player with some of the insurance money from the accident, and had spent a great deal of time and money adding to it, and perfecting it. The results were pretty good, she figured. The stereo was worth more than the TV, and was probably her most expensive possession, apart from her apartment.

Jessie pulled up a chair to her dining table and opened her brief case. Nodding her head in time with the music, she sipped her wine, she searched through her sheaf of notes, stopping every so often to read what she had written. Sometimes Romano could be a real pain in the ass, but today he'd been pretty good. He'd opened up a bit, and stopped scowling for about half an hour. Can't ask for more than that, Jessie giggled to herself. He can be such a jerk sometimes. I mean, I know everyone told me he was a asshole, but I thought they might have been exaggerating. How silly of me. And the weirdest thing is that sometimes he can be a really nice guy.

Shaking her head at her the contradiction, Jessie began to compile her notes into an orderly fashion. She was determined to present a thorough report at the end of the six months, and wanted desperately to be impartial and see the situation from both sides. Of course though, this was easier said than done. She enjoyed her sessions with Romano. He was certainly a character. Not a likeable one, admittedly, but he was intelligent, and funny. Sometime it wasn't quite so much fun, though. But Jessie thought that she was beginning to see inside his mind, finally, after three months. His… what was it Kerry had said? Desires and frustrations, that was it! Jessie grinned to herself as she wrote a few notes in the margin of the paper.

She wondered what Romano's desires were. She knew he had a major thing for the English doctor with the curly hair. Is that just a crush, or is it the real thing? Jessie mused. She shook her head. Who knows? She thought. I just wish someone would look at me the way he looks at her when he thinks no-one is looking. Well, _used_ to look at her, anyway. He's not been looking recently. He must have realised she was seeing that tall surgeon. Oh well, Jessie thought – there's no accounting for taste. She'd met Dr Dorsett and he'd been charming to the point of sleazy. Not her cup of tea at all.

Jessie sighed into her wine glass, and moved over to the sofa. There was no possibility of finishing that report tonight. It would just have to wait. Curling up on the sofa, she drank her wine, and used the remote to turn up the volume of her stereo. Closing her eyes, she let Robert Plant's soaring vocals wash over her. I'd better not drink all of this, she thought, finishing her wine, and pouring another glass. This bottle was a good one – she'd have to buy a few more, she decided. Perhaps give one to Romano at the end of the six months just to say..….. say what? Sorry I got you fired? Sorry you got to keep your job? Thanks for making sure I made my rent? Oh and by the way, I'm going to write a paper on you that'll get me a shed load of kudos? Would he still even speak to her after she'd submitted her report?

Jessie stood up and sauntered into the kitchen, wincing a little at the twinge of pain in her right knee. Despite it being mid August, it had not been a particularly warm day. Sometimes, especially when the temperature dropped, her joint ached and she became more aware not only of her desire to move to sunnier climes, but also of her disability.

Although it had been a long time, Jessie could remember the accident as if it had been yesterday. The squeal of tyres, the sound of metal against metal; it was as loud as it had been on the day of her accident. Some things weren't meant to be forgotten. In comparison, Alex was easier to forget. She had loved him so much, at first. He was captivating: exceptionally clever, fiery, adventurous and not a little bit crazy. He had black hair, which he'd worn long at Oxford, like so many of the students did. It made him look like a Goth. As an American, he'd been noticed, but he wasn't unusual. He'd been a post graduate, ten years older than her naïve nineteen; and worldly wise. She had loved him instantly. It took her six months before he admitted he felt the same way. By then she was in so deep, there was no getting her out.

Jessie shook her head at the memory and began to fix herself some salad. She thought about her date the previous evening, with Craig, the architect. They'd gone to a lovely little Italian restaurant and she'd eaten too much food. They'd talked a lot, and she'd spoken a bit about her accident to Craig; but she'd sensed that he wasn't comfortable talking about it and so she'd only skimmed over the story.

Somehow it was difficult explaining what it was like only having half your limbs to someone who had the full set. Jessie realised that it had never bothered her before. She liked Craig, they'd been on a few dates, but she had a feeling he didn't understand what had happened to her and how to deal with it. And she'd had to explain to him that she couldn't see him this weekend because she'd had to work on Romano's report.

"Damn it!" She exclaimed, a smirk touching her lips. "How come Romano manages to ruin my weekend? It's bad enough that he ruins my week!"

She carefully picked up her salad and took it back to the sofa. Sitting down, she flicked off the stereo and turned on the TV. I love these universal remotes, she thought. What a genius idea. Nearly as good as a wine bottle opener that could be used with one hand!


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

By the time Robert made it to the ER, it looked like all hell had broken loose. There were so many people, he was finding it difficult to manoeuvre his way to Exam Room 1 where, according to his pager, a particularly nasty accident meant that some poor sod needed his help.

"Right, what's the problem and who called me away from whatever it was I was doing, which is bound to be more interesting than spending time with you lot!" Robert snarled as he pushed open the door with his prosthetic. A nurse he vaguely recognised gave him a withering look and turned away.

"Dr Romano, we need your opinion on this patient." Abby Lockhart was saying. Robert liked her – she was a good nurse and would be a good doctor. It would have been nice to see her smile more, but hey, you can't have everything, he reasoned.

"My opinion?" I'm surprised it still counts for anything round here anymore," Robert quipped, as he gestured to the nurse whose name he still couldn't quite remember. "What's your name?" He asked her.

"Sam Taggart, _Doctor_ Romano," the nurse replied, her voice dripping with disgust. "The only reason you're here is because Dr Carter is busy and Dr Kovac isn't here yet. Otherwise we wouldn't have bothered paging you."

Robert scowled at Sam and held out his right hand.

"_Nurse_ Taggart," he sneered, "if you would be so kind as to provide me with a glove, perhaps I can look at the patient, make an assessment, and let you get on with your job; after all, you'll have to work long hours to make just a fraction of my wage, before you go back to your trailer park, so I wouldn't want to hold you up."

Abby cleared her throat, and they both stopped glaring at each other to face her.

"So sorry to interrupt," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "but it's kind of urgent that you look at this patient. She may have to have surgery immediately."

Robert nodded at Abby and winced as Sam snapped the glove a little too hard onto his wrist. He moved to stand near the patient and his heart missed a beat as he saw that it was a little girl, no more than about eleven, with severe injuries to her right arm.

"Where's Dr Corday?" Romano asked. "This is a surgical consult. This girl…" he stopped, and smiled gently at the girl who was clearly very scared, but doing her best to be brave. Robert took her uninjured hand in his and leaned down towards her.

"Hey, what's your name?" He asked.

"Emily." The little girl said. She'd started crying as the nurses battled to staunch the bleeding and ease the pain. Her arm was quite clearly beyond repair. Robert thought about Jessie and how she would, in months to come, try to help Emily come to terms with what had happened to her.

"Hello Emily," Robert smiled. "I'm Robert. Does it hurt?"

Emily shook her head.

"Not anymore," she replied. "The pretty nurse gave me something and now it doesn't hurt."

Robert glanced up at Abby, who gently shook her head. The pain medication they had given her hadn't had a chance to work yet; Emily was in shock. Robert looked back down at her.

"Listen to me, sweetheart," he whispered. "You're going to have to be a brave girl now. The nurses here will look after you and then you're going to have an operation. When you wake up, I'm going to make sure that another pretty lady is there to talk to you. She's a doctor, a very good one, and she'll help you get better."

"Am I going to have a plastic arm like yours?" Emily withdrew her hand from Robert's and gently touched his prosthetic.

Robert nodded.

"Are your Mummy and Daddy here?" He asked, looking round at the nurses.

"They're on their way," Sam confirmed. "And I've paged Dr Dorsett, and Dr Corday but I don't know where they are."

Robert's lip curled slightly when Dorsett's name was mentioned, but he didn't comment. Instead he smiled down at Emily, and accepted her hand when she offered it to him.

"Emily, I promise I won't leave you until your parents get here, so you don't need to be scared." Robert looked up at Sam. "Let's get her up to the O.R. and page Corday and Dorsett again. The sooner we get her into theater, the better."

Sam nodded and she and Abby wheeled Emily out of Exam Room 1, into the elevator, with Robert following just behind. The elevator doors closed and Sam looked at Abby.

"What happened there?" She asked. "From class A jerk to caring doctor in under two minutes. Am I hallucinating?"

"I know," Abby replied, "sometimes he can surprise you."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

Up in the surgical ward, Robert was organizing with a ruthless efficiency that he'd not displayed in months. Emily was made as comfortable as possible and a search party was dispatched for Dr Corday and Dr Dorsett. Emily had drifted off, thanks to the pain medication, and Robert used the opportunity to visit the bathroom. He'd made sure that a nurse was sitting next to Emily's bed, in case she woke up and wondered where he was. He took the stairs up to the next floor and made his way to the gents. He often used this bathroom as it was out of the way and not used as much. Since his accident, he'd preferred to be alone when taking a leak; sometimes it could be tricky.

Pushing open the door, he though he heard a giggle. Cocking his head slightly, he tiptoed into the room. Yes, he thought, it was definitely a giggle. Probably a couple of the medical students fooling around, thinking that they wouldn't be disturbed. Well, Robert thought, since I'm in the mood to throw my weight around, I'll give these kids a piece of my mind, and then I'll take them to Kerry and they can suffer her wrath.

Robert walked up to the only occupied cubicle and knocked quietly on the door. The giggling stopped abruptly, followed by a sharp intake of breath. Robert knocked again, smirking to himself. He'd got all day; these kids weren't going anywhere.

He heard the sound of the door unlocking and it swung open, hinges squeaking. Robert's mouth opened in astonishment as he saw Elizabeth, her hair decidedly dishevelled, hastily buttoning her blouse. His eyes moved to her companion, Dorsett, who was looking at Robert with a smug grin on his face.

"Yes, Doctor, can I help you?" Dorsett enquired, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Robert ignored him and stared at Elizabeth, who had the grace to look embarrassed.

"When you've quite finished fooling around, there's a little girl downstairs who needs to have her arm amputated. Now whilst _you_ may not know what that's like, take it from me – it's not pleasant. And I can't imagine it's any easier when you're _eleven_." Robert spat, disgustedly. "But perhaps if you'd bothered to answer the page from the ER, you would have known that she requires your services! The nurses didn't realise that you were doing a little servicing of your own… "

He turned on his heel and left the bathroom, scarcely able to believe what he had just seen. He couldn't believe that Elizabeth had not answered her pager whilst at work. It was bad enough seeing her in the arms of that… idiot, but the fact that she had wilfully ignored her pager when Emily needed her skills as a surgeon; he was really disappointed in her.

"Robert – wait!" He heard Elizabeth call him as he walked down the stairs to the toilets on the floor below. "Robert! Stop!"

Sighing deeply, Robert turned to face Elizabeth. She had done her best to smooth down her hair and tidy her clothes but he could still see signs of her assignation all over her face.

"Robert, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just, he just, I don't know… please don't say anything. I'll come and look at your little girl." Elizabeth was clearly flustered and embarrassed, and Robert felt a twinge of sympathy, which was quickly extinguished when he though of that smug jerk Dorsett. He turned away from Elizabeth and continued down the stairs; his bladder had a more urgent agenda.

"Don't put yourself out Lizzie," Robert sneered. "After all, it could be Ella instead of Emily." He knew that the remark was cutting, but he no longer cared. The past few months he had come to realise that Elizabeth was never going to fall in love with him and it was about time that he moved on. This display had only underlined the fact that she was not the one for him, despite his many years of hoping that she would be.

"I'm so sorry, Robert." Elizabeth repeated.

"What for?" Robert snapped. "For not doing your job? For having appalling taste in surgeons? For the fact that it was me who found you? Forget it, Lizzie. Your dirty little secret's safe with me." He walked towards the gents and pushed open the door, Elizabeth on his heels. "Your patient's in the ward over there," he gestured, "not here in the gents. Perhaps you'd be kind enough to wait until I've finished here before you take her into surgery. I promised her I'd look after her until her parents arrived."

Turning away from her, Robert stormed into the bathroom. He was really angry, and had to take several deep breaths to calm down. Once he had finished, he washed his hands and stared at his reflection in the mirror. I can't believe that, after all this time I don't love her anymore, he thought. This was just the final nail in the coffin. She's never going to notice me, and now it doesn't matter. It's like a spell, he mused, and now I've escaped. He smiled at his reflection. Actually, he realised, it felt good to be free.

vvvvvvvvv

Back in the ward, Elizabeth was talking to the nurse who was still sitting at Emily's bedside. Robert walked in, and went over to check on Emily. She was still sleeping.

"We'll get her in straight away" Elizabeth was saying. "I'll go and scrub up." She left the room, avoiding Robert's eyes. He ignored her and took Emily's hand again.

"Are her parents here yet?" He asked the nurse.

"I can go and check," she said, rising from the chair.

"Do that," he replied. "And send Abby Lockhart up with them when they get here."

Alone with Emily, Robert sat quietly, listening to the sound of the little girl breathing. He thought about Jessie and the work she would have to do. He would page her once Emily went into surgery and let her know what had happened. He wondered whether he could help Jessie with her work. Perhaps she could use an extra pair of hands, he thought, smirking at his own joke.

Next to him, Emily stirred, and opened her eyes.

"Still here, sweetheart," Robert reassured her. " Your parents will be here in a bit and they'll look after you."

"You won't go away though, will you, Robert?" Emily whispered. "Will you fix me?"

"I can't do surgery anymore," Robert admitted. "I mostly look after little girls who are waiting for their parents."

"Yeah, but you can still stay with me, can't you?" Emily said, smiling up at him.

Robert opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the door opening and a handsome, well dressed couple rushing in, followed by Abby.

"Darling! My darling!" Emily's mother dashed to her bedside and cradled her daughter's head in her hands. She looked at Romano questioningly, taking in his prosthetic, and asked rudely, "Are you a doctor?"

"Doctor Romano's one of the best," Abby interrupted smoothly, "he's retired from surgery now, but he's an excellent teacher. He offered to look after your daughter until you arrived."

"Thank you so much, Doctor," Emily's father murmured, extending his hand for Robert to shake.

"No problem," Robert managed, still a little thrown by Abby's comment. "I think they're nearly ready to operate. Perhaps after the surgery I can introduce you to our expert in the field of amputees and prosthetics. Emily wants me to sit in with her during surgery, and well, I promised."

Emily's parents muttered their agreement, and Abby led them to a waiting room. Emily waved with her good hand as she was wheeled down the corridor into surgery, Robert trailing behind, an unreadable expression on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Jessie sat at her desk nibbling her sandwich, trying desperately to concentrate on the work spread out in front of her. She wanted to organise herself before her session with Romano began. It had been a tough morning; she had seen three patients, and had spent a couple of hours with Emily and her parents, and this was the first opportunity she'd had to grab a bite to eat and go through her notes. The practice of writing her notes during a session and transferring them on to a computer later was tedious, but when only one hand worked properly, typing at sixty words per minute wasn't the easiest of tasks. She had bought a computer which would type when she talked into a microphone, but it was best kept at home, so it was vital that her notes made sense when she came to transfer them on to the screen.

As Jessie ate, the slices of tomato slid out of her sandwich onto her notes. Cursing softly, she dabbed at the stain with a tissue. Tomatoes made her think about Craig. They'd been dating for a little while now, but Jessie didn't think that it wasn't going to go anywhere. She had a feeling that he was having a hard time dealing with her disability.

"It's what _isn't_ there, you know, Rhodes," she whispered to herself. "It makes them uncomfortable every time."

The knock at the door made her jump. At the same time, the telephone rang, which made her jump again.

"Come in!" Jessie called, picking up the telephone receiver. She looked up to see Robert quietly opening the door and gestured that he take a chair. "Jessie Rhodes…. Oh, hey, Susan…. yeah, I was going to page you later actually… yeah, definitely still on for tonight…. Yeah, of course it is, I've only met her a couple of times, so it'd be nice to get to know her a bit… . okay, see you later."

Hanging up the phone, Jessie looked over at Robert who was busy pouring himself a coffee from Jessie's new machine. He gestured with the coffee in her direction and she nodded. She'd finally succumbed to her patients' never-ending requests for decent coffee and bought a machine. The dispenser further down the corridor wasn't good enough, apparently. Jessie had tried not to give in, but in the end she had capitulated. She occasionally drank coffee, but liked to water it down, much to Robert's horror when he caught her doing just that, one morning. He had teased her mercilessly about it, but always made it how she liked it.

"Afternoon, Romano. How are you?" Jessie asked.

Robert turned to face her, his features calm and his manner relaxed. He sat down opposite Jessie and sighed.

"Actually, Doctor, I don't feel bad at all." Robert answered, his expression hidden behind the lip of the coffee mug. "I think I've had an epiphany.".

Jessie raised an eyebrow.

"Do you need to see a doctor for that?" she asked, keeping a straight face.

Robert smiled at her.

"That's why I'm here, isn't it?" He grinned.

Smiling back at Romano, Jessie took the top off her pen and relaxed into her chair. She had a feeling that this would be an interesting session. The past few weeks had been a mixed bag. There were times when Romano had been honest and forthcoming with his feelings, and there had been times that they'd sat almost in silence the whole session. Jessie found the contradictory moods quite draining, and was frustrated that she couldn't pinpoint Romano's direction. Did he want her to write him a good review? Did he want her to save his job? Would he be happy spending the next twenty years teaching kids how to do what he could do no longer? She hadn't been able to fathom him out, but maybe this session would provide a breakthrough.

"So come on then, tell me about your epiphany," she said.

"Well, it's simple really. I've just decided that I'm not going to cling to false hope," Robert began. "I've seen the light, and I know what I am and what I have to offer people. And although not all of it is…attractive…there is a lot about me that I like. So, for want of a better phrase: screw them all!"

"Is that how you really feel?" Jessie enquired, looking over her glasses at him.

Robert looked at Jessie for a long time without saying anything. Jessie let him sit, and didn't prompt. She knew that whatever had happened to Romano had changed his life in some way. The question now was whether he would use it as a positive experience.

"Well, let's just put it this way: I'm fed up pining after someone who has no idea that I'm alive and I'm going to find myself someone who will like me for me," Robert stated firmly.

"Okay – so what are you going to do about it?" Jessie asked.

Robert's smile grew even wider.

"There's this pretty nurse in the rehabilitation ward – I think I might ask her out!" He burst out, unable to keep the secret a second longer. He'd thought of nothing else for nearly two days, but had been to shy to ask her at his last rehabilitation session the previous day. His next session was in two days' time and he had wracked his brains trying to find someone who he could talk to about it. Eventually he realised that the only person he wanted to share it with was Jessie.

"Hey Romano – that's fantastic!" Jessie cried, unable to hide her smile. "Good for you.".

"Well, I kind of had a little push," Robert admitted. " I found the woman of my dreams in the gents' toilets with that creepy little toad Dorsett, and I suddenly came to my senses." He looked down at his coffee cup and sighed again. "But I don't want to talk about that; it's in the past. I need you to help me with some cool chat up lines and then we can talk about little Emily. I'm going to see her when we're finished."

Jessie just laughed. She was really pleased that Romano had finally realised that Elizabeth wasn't ever going to fall in love with him. It would do him the world of good to be free from her spell.

"Actually, I've just been to see Emily," Jessie admitted. She sipped her coffee thoughtfully, remembering the morning's events. "She seems like a lovely little girl. She was talking about you a lot!"

Robert raised his eyebrows.

"Really?" He asked. "What did she say?"

Jessie smirked at his curiosity.

"Let me see now," Jessie pretended to think about it. "She said that you were her friend. She said that you had brought her lots of nice toys and books. She showed me a particularly well loved teddy that she said you had given her. I reckon it was yours when you were little. It doesn't leave her side!" She winked at Robert. "It seems, Dr Romano, that I have discovered a soft side to you!"

Robert blushed, but held Jessie's gaze. He had become very fond of Emily over the past couple of weeks, and it had felt right that he had given her his precious bear. The bear had helped him at the time of his accident and he hoped it would help Emily.

"Well, haven't we all got childhood toys?" he asked. "I bet you've got one!"

Jessie nodded.

"I'm only teasing you, Romano." She said. "Yes, I've got a couple of teddy bears. They're very important to me, and I don't think I could give them up. Emily must mean a lot to you, for you to do that."

"She thinks of me as a friend," Robert admitted. "She doesn't judge me or hate me or think I'm useless just because I've only got one arm. I don't really have that in my life. There's only a couple of people who…" he looked out the window and sighed gently. " Like I said, I know what I am and what I have to offer people…and I know it's not going to be everyone's cup of java, but Emily sees beyond all the superficial bullshit. She sees a friend."

He looked back at Jessie and smiled shyly at her.

"You're not going to put in your report what I did, are you? You know the Board will laugh at me."

"I thought you didn't care about other people, Romano? 'Screw them all' , you said," Jessie answered, her expression unreadable behind her coffee cup.

Robert considered her words for a minute and then shrugged.

"You're right. Screw them all. Tell them what you like." He drained his coffee and put the mug on the desk. "So come on then, what do I say to this nurse!"

The session went quickly and all too soon it was time for Robert to go. He stood up reluctantly. He had enjoyed the session immensely. It had been nice to hear that Emily liked him, and he and Jessie had had a good laugh remembering good (and not so good) chat up lines that they'd heard.

"See you the day after tomorrow, Romano - you must let me know what happens with the nurse," Jessie grinned as Robert moved towards the door.

"Hey – don't worry, I will!" Robert replied. "Even if she tells me to get stuffed, at least I'll have asked her!"

Closing the door gently behind him, Robert sauntered down the corridor towards the elevator. He hummed softly to himself, thinking about the last hour. He was enjoying the sessions more and more as the weeks went by. It had been four months since he'd walked into Kerry's office and he was gradually beginning to get used to life with one arm. He was enjoying spending time with Jessie, as well. She was very different from Lizzie, or indeed any other woman he knew. Despite everything life had thrown at her, she had continued to view life with optimism and hope, and Robert knew that she was trying to make him see things the same way. He still didn't know what he wanted her to put in the report. Some days he hated County, and Chicago and his job, and other days – days like this, when he got to spend time with Jessie and with Emily; people who thought he was worth a damn….. sometimes it wasn't too bad at all.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Back in the office, Jessie thought about what Romano had said. He'd realised that Dr Corday wasn't going to fall in love with him, and he'd decided to find someone who would, what was it? Jessie frowned, trying to remember. She looked down at the pad, and saw she'd scribbled it down. 'Someone who will like me for me' she had written. I'll second that, Jessie thought.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

As Robert walked onto Emily's ward he could see that she was not alone. Her parents were there, talking to Dr Kovac. Robert pushed open the door, and could hear the Croatian gently explain Emily's drug routine to Emily's parents. Emily was sitting on her bed, gazing rapturously up at Kovac. Is there any woman who doesn't think that man is gorgeous? Robert thought, trying not to get angry at Kovac. Oh well; at least he wasn't Dorsett, he acknowledged with a wry smile.

Abby Lockhart followed in on Robert's heels. She smiled at Robert and called out to the little girl.

"Hey, Emily – look who's here to see you!"

"Robert!" Emily shrieked, as she hopped off her bed, Kovac already forgotten. She ran towards him, slightly unsteady without her right arm, and crashed into his legs, cuddling him tightly.

Abby moved over to Emily's parents and handed them a supply of medicine. Robert dropped to a crouch, wrapping his arm around the little girl, who buried her face in his neck. He didn't hear Abby's voice; didn't notice Kovac's bemused expression; couldn't see Emily's mother look strangely at him. Nothing mattered but Emily, and the fact that he realised she was going home. He wondered fleetingly why Jessie hadn't told him. She must have known. But, he reasoned, Jessie hadn't wanted him to be sad, thinking about it. She had protected him and he was grateful for that.

Robert stood up, still holding Emily tight. His muscles protested slightly at the weight, but he ignored them, knowing he was strong enough to carry her over to the bed, where he set her down gently. Emily's father reached out a hand to shake.

"Emily says that you've been a regular visitor," he said, clasping Robert's hand. "She's talked about nothing but you!"

Robert smiled at him.

"Well, Emily's a great little girl, Mr Hutchinson," he said, "and, well, we've got some stuff in common." He gestured to his prosthetic.

"I saw the pretty lady today, Robert!" Emily cried, pulling Robert down so he sat on the bed beside her. "The one you told me about. She showed me her leg! She's like us too!"

Robert grinned as he thought of Jessie solemnly showing Emily her false leg and the scar around her forearm. He looked up at Emily's parents.

"How were your sessions with Dr Rhodes?" He asked. "Did they help? She's very good at what she does. She's helped me a lot" He glanced quickly at Abby and Kovac, who had tactfully moved a couple of feet away, and were busy studying Emily's chart, trying hard not to look as if they were listening.

Emily's mother gazed at him, her eyes moist. She held out a hand, and Robert took it gently.

"Thank you, Dr Romano," she said, softly. "Dr Rhodes was very helpful. She was full of praise for you as well."

Robert tried not to let the surprise show on his face. Jessie had said nice things about him? He wondered briefly what she had said. Had she meant it? Shaking his head slightly, he forced his thoughts back to the present: Emily was leaving.

"We'll be visiting County on a regular basis to talk to Dr Rhodes," Emily's father was saying. "Perhaps we could have your number? It would be nice for Emily to see you occasionally when we're here."

"Of course," Robert mumbled, his thoughts whirling. He dictated his number to Emily's mother, and moved to help Emily pack her bag. It wasn't easy for either of them, having only two hands between them, but with much giggling and sighing, they managed to zip the bag shut. Kovac said his goodbyes to Emily's parents and left the ward. Abby stayed, ready to accompany them out.

There was nothing more to keep Emily in the hospital and Robert knew the time had come to say goodbye. He hoped that Emily's father would keep his word, and contact Robert the next time they came to see Jessie, but he wasn't holding his breath. People usually let him down. He stood up, ready to offer to take the family down to the exit, but as he opened his mouth to speak, his pager went off. It was Jessie. Perfect timing, he thought. He paused. Taking a deep breath, he turned to face the Hutchinsons.

"Nurse Lockhart will show you out. I'm afraid I have an urgent consult. It's been a pleasure to meet you, Mr Hutchinson; Mrs Hutchinson." Robert offered his hand and they exchanged handshakes again.

"And as for you, Little One, you take care and come and see me soon, won't you?" Robert bent down towards Emily and she wrapped her arm around his neck.

"Thank you Robert," Emily muttered, pressing her face in his chest. "I'll come and visit soon, I promise. I'll miss you!"

"I'll miss you too, sweetheart," Robert managed, his voice breaking. He stood up quickly, releasing Emily, and turned towards the door. He nodded at Abby, who nodded back.

"If you'd like to follow me…" Robert heard her say as he pushed through the door. He walked quickly back the way he had come, back to Jessie's office. He didn't want to be alone, and there was no-one else who understood how he felt. He was vaguely aware of someone calling his name as he walked passed the surgical ward, but he took no notice.

At Jessie's office he paused, and then opened the door without knocking. She had paged him to let him know that she was there if he needed her. There wouldn't be anyone else with her.

Jessie sat at her desk, alone as he had known she would be. She stood up and walked slowly round the desk. Wordlessly, he moved towards her and as she took him in her arms, his tears began to fall. He buried his face in her neck and breathed in her perfume. They stood together for several minutes, the ticking of the wall clock loud in the silence. Eventually Robert stepped back, wiping his eyes. Jessie handed him a box of tissues and he smiled gratefully, blowing his nose and drying his face.

Jessie moved over to the coffee machine and poured Robert a fresh cup of coffee, fixing it as he liked it. Robert accepted the cup and sank into the chair he had vacated not an hour earlier. He took a sip, nodding appreciatively at its warmth and rich taste.

Moving round to her chair, Jessie sat facing him, saying nothing. The clock continued to tick, as they looked at each other. Robert gulped his coffee, thankful for the silence. He realised suddenly that Jessie was the only person he knew who would let him cry on their shoulder, and who wouldn't tell anyone. She was the only person he knew who wouldn't try to fill the silence with inane chatter. He smiled wanly at her from over his cup. She was a good friend and he had no idea how to thank her for what she had just done.

They both jumped as the silence was broken by the telephone. Jessie raised her eyebrows at Robert who nodded quietly. He would be okay. Jessie picked up the phone.

"Jessie Rhodes…. yes, hello Miss Watts….of course I can… what time would suit you?" She reached for her diary.

Robert quietly got to his feet and crept out of the office. He didn't want to ruin the moment by talking about it. He'd lost one friend and found another. It had been one hell of a day.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

The bar was heaving with people but somehow they had managed to find a seat. It was not the kind of bar that Jessie usually went to, but she was enjoying herself nonetheless. She and Abby were busy trying to advise Susan on the best course of action to take with her boyfriend, Chuck. She'd been dating him since they'd got divorced (did anyone do anything the right way round anymore? Jessie wondered) but Susan was feeling restless and bored. Jessie had only met Chuck briefly when they'd passed in the corridor outside her apartment, but he seemed like a nice guy – although a little stocky for Jessie's tastes.

"Men are all idiots," Abby muttered, as she sipped her orange juice, "although he might be the exception to the rule!" she gestured subtly in the direction of a tall beautiful man leaning against the bar.

"He looks like Dr Kovac" Jessie pointed out.

Abby and Susan exchanged grins.

"Abby used to date Luca," Susan whispered, conspiratorially.

Jessie's eyes widened, and she turned to Abby.

"Wow, I'm impressed!" She said. "He is HOT. Makes my Spanish class quite a challenge, I can tell you! I want to spend the whole hour just staring at him." She sighed. "I suppose he's got his own issues though. No-one's perfect." She smiled at Abby. "Apart from him over there, of course!"

The girls giggled and toasted each other. Abby leaned back in her chair and pulled out a packet of cigarettes from her bag. Susan tutted with mock disapproval, and passed her the ashtray. Abby offered the pack to Jessie who, after a moment's hesitation, accepted one.

"Oh God, don't tell my mother" She groaned. "I haven't had one of these for ages!"

The conversation continued, and as Jessie smoked her cigarette, she began to relax. She started to think about Romano and what had happened earlier that day. She deliberately hadn't told Romano that Emily was leaving. She knew that it would upset him. By paging him, she'd wanted to let him know that if he needed someone to talk to, she was free. She hadn't imagined he would actually come back.

Jessie had almost tuned Susan and Abby out, when she heard Abby mention Romano.

"… I think that little girl really had an effect on him," Abby said.

Susan smirked.

"Do you think he might actually have a heart?" she asked.

"Hmm, no, I don't think it went that far!" Abby deadpanned. "He's still an insufferable jerk!"

The two women stifled a laugh and Susan turned to Jessie.

"Have you seen evidence to the contrary, Dr Rhodes?" She smiled into her wine glass. "Does our miserable boss have a caring side?"

Jessie's mouth twitched with laughter. She knew the truth of course, but was not going to reveal Romano's secret.

"Hmm, well I mentioned it was my birthday soon, but he didn't seem to take much notice, " she mused, "and I pointed out that my friend's dog died recently, but I think he only grunted." She looked at the girls, her eyes twinkling. "He did make me a cup of coffee today though!"

Susan shrieked with laughter, while Abby feigned amazement.

"Oh my God – I don't recall anyone saying that he made them a cup of coffee before! I think he likes you!" She smiled at Jessie, and nudged her, nearly spilling Jessie's cigarette ash on her jeans. "I reckon you're in there!"

All three laughed uproariously at this statement, and the handsome man at the bar turned to face them, raising an eyebrow quizzically. This set them off again. Jessie extinguished her cigarette, comfortable in her surroundings. She mused idly on what Abby had said about Romano. It hadn't crossed her mind that he might find her attractive. He'd never given any indication of any feelings other than mutual respect and courtesy. Maybe he thought of her as a friend. That would be okay, she thought. It's nice to make friends. Like these two. Here were two people she could enjoy spending time with. Susan was so nice, and she had warmed to Abby during the evening. She noticed that Abby didn't drink, and wondered if there was history there. There usually was a reason why someone didn't touch alcohol.

The evening continued in much the same vein, and it was the very late by the time Susan and Jessie unlocked the door to their apartment building.

"See you soon, Jessie," Susan whispered as they reached Jessie's door.

"Sleep well," Jessie whispered back. After three attempts, she managed to get her key in the door.

She closed the door quietly behind her and kicked off her boots. Padding across the apartment, she closed the curtains and turned on a couple of lamps. She felt reasonably sober considering the amount of alcohol that she had drunk. It had been an excellent evening. She poured herself a glass of water and grabbed a couple of biscuits. Sitting on her sofa, she flicked on the TV. The usual rubbish. Jessie flicked one of the music channels on and sat back against her sofa. Closing her eyes and munching her biscuits, she thought about the evening. It had been a lot of fun. She had discovered lots of interesting gossip, plus little snippets about what some of Romano's colleagues thought of him. She smiled at the thought of Romano giving away his teddy. He was a good guy, underneath all that superficial bullshit, she thought.

Jessie got to her feet, wincing slightly as she felt a twinge in her right knee. Okay, okay, I know, she thought. Time to go to bed. Getting too old for all this. She put the glass in the kitchen, turned off the TV and went to bed. It had been one hell of a day.

…………_The knock on the door makes Jessie look up from her desk with a start. She frowns. She hasn't booked any sessions this afternoon; she wants the time to catch up on her notes and her plans for future sessions. _

_"Come in!" Jessie says._

_The door opens and Dr Romano walks in. He is wearing a long sleeved shirt in a blue so dark it's almost inky black. He's also wearing jeans and, as Jessie looks down she can hardly believe her eyes, cowboy boots of the softest suede. Romano in cowboy boots? Jessie frowns again, not sure what's wrong, but knowing something is a bit suspect. She's never seen Robert like this before. He looks as if he's glowing with… with what? _Wow_, Jessie thinks; _Romano looks hot! How did that happen?

_Without saying a word, Robert walks towards Jessie, round the back of the desk, where the patients don't usually go. Jessie stands up in astonishment. She's never seen this look on Robert's face before. Grabbing her by the wrist, Robert pulls Jessie to her feet. His prosthetic arm snakes its way around her waist, and Robert pushes Jessie against the desk, squeezing his body up to hers. Stunned by this move, Jessie starts to speak but Robert raises his right hand and tenderly presses a finger to her lips. _

_"Don't say anything," he whispers, tracing the line of her jaw with his fingers, "We both want this too much." _

_Jessie nods and Robert winds his hand through her hair. He lightly cups her head and tilts her neck back slowly. Jessie can't believe what is happening. She only knows one thing: she wants Romano to kiss her. Her heart pounds and her body tingles with desire. Robert lowers his head and their lips meet._

_The kiss is sensual and sexy and Jessie loses herself in the moment. She can hear a pager going off, and wonders fleetingly whether it's hers or Romano's. She can feel Romano's body pressing against her and she twitches her hips against him. Robert moans softly. He untangles his hand from her hair and moves it down her shoulder, on to her waist. Pausing only briefly, it continues to move, down her thigh, to her knee and the hem of her skirt. Somewhere in the depths of her brain, Jessie registers the hand moving slowly up the inside of her thigh, but she's powerless to do anything about it. In fact she doesn't want to. _Damn, this feels so good! s_he thinks._

_Romano's kiss moves from sensual to hungry and Jessie responds with a passion she's forgotten she had. The pager is getting louder but Jessie soon discovers that she doesn't care as Robert's fingers find silk and lace. Jessie lets out an involuntary sigh as Robert's fingers slide past the lace but all she can hear is the pager, which is now so loud, she thinks that maybe it's not a pager after all. Maybe it's ….._

……. the alarm clock awoke Jessie with a start. Damn, I was enjoying that! she thought. Massaging her neck gently, she tried to recall the dream fully. Suddenly, realization hit.

"Oh no," Jessie muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. She sank back down on to her pillows and covered her eyes with her arm. "I hate it when that happens! Damn!"

Lying there in the early morning sunshine, Jessie struggled to remember exactly what happened in the dream. It had been a while since she had dreamed about any of her patients. If on the rare occasions she did dream about them, it was usually in harmless situations like meeting in a shop or walking their dogs. She had only had one erotic dream about a patient before. The patient in question had been a quarterback at the local university, a few years Jessie's junior and particularly sexy. After the dream, she had found it impossible to look him in the eye and suggested that he see someone else. She didn't want her license revoked for leaping on the patients and removing their shirts: it was safer to send College Boy away.

Musing on this theory, Jessie took a shower, trying hard not to remember just how much she'd been enjoying the dream. How much she'd wanted Romano to touch her. She'd not considered him in that light, not really.

vvvvvv

"This is ridiculous!" Jessie scoffed to herself, as she fixed herself breakfast. "I don't fancy him! He's a jerk… he's not my type at all! What do you think, Rochester?" She addressed this last question to the sleek black cat which sat washing himself on the little balcony outside Jessie's living room window. The window was open, and the cat looked up briefly at the sound of Jessie's voice. Jessie could have sworn she saw him shrug before he resumed the task at hand.

vvvvvv

"Oh, come on, of course I don't fancy him - I'm his doctor!" Jessie protested, as she vacuumed the living room. The black cat was comfortable on the sofa, seemingly oblivious to the noise. He leaned forward, resting his head on his paws and gazed at Jessie with unfathomable eyes.

Jessie turned off the vacuum cleaner and sank down on the sofa next to the cat. Slowly getting to his feet, the cat stretched and gently assembled himself on her lap. Jessie began to stroke him gently, listening to his purr and the rhythm of the traffic outside. She was unaccustomed to this strange feeling she'd had all morning.

"Listen, Rochester. I'm telling you. He's horrible. He's not the sort of guy I go for at all. Not just the way he looks - although he's certainly not ugly – I mean, bald can be considered sexy, but I usually date men with hair. And I like to wear heels sometimes, you know." Jessie grinned, in spite of herself. "He does make me laugh, though. Not that that's any basis for a relationship. I mean, we don't have anything in common. Well, apart from the whole arm thing. And I guess we both like movies."

Jessie leaned back and shut her eyes, trying to block out the source of her disquiet. Romano was mean, nasty. He was rude to his staff. He'd not been particularly rude to her, admittedly, but that didn't mean he wasn't ever going to be. Just because she found him interesting and funny, didn't mean that she fancied him, surely?

"Come on, Rochester, help me out here. Romano's not for me. I like guys who are clever. Not that Romano's stupid, I don't mean that! I just mean… " Jessie paused; that line of defence wasn't leading anywhere.

"Well, anyway," she continued, "I like men who are strong-willed and independent. Hmm. I suppose you could say Romano was strong-willed." Jessie frowned and looked down at Rochester, stretching out on her lap. This conversation wasn't going the way she was hoping, and try as she might, she couldn't blame the cat.

"And don't forget Craig!" Jessie stated, triumphantly. Then she stopped smiling. "Like I just did." She'd forgotten all about Craig until that very minute. She'd spent the whole morning wondering whether she'd fallen for Romano, and hadn't even considered the fact that she'd been dating someone else.

Jessie thought back over the last few months. She'd felt more comfortable with Romano than she had with Craig. She'd been able to be more honest with Romano. She'd told him more about herself. And, she realized, she'd enjoyed spending time with Romano. Craig was sexy, sure, and interesting, but he'd been hard work. And Jessie knew he couldn't deal with her injuries – he'd not once tried to take her to bed.

But Romano was different. He didn't judge her. He'd been through similar experiences. He was a fighter. He was attractive and interesting. He challenged her intellect and made her laugh. And he didn't have a problem with her disability.

He was, Jessie realized, just the sort of man she'd been looking for.

"Oh God," she moaned. "Of all the people…why him?" She shook her head, despairingly. This was not what she needed at all.

"So what the hell am I going to do about it?" Jessie asked aloud. On her lap, Rochester continued to purr.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Robert winced to himself as he closed the door of the rehabilitation ward, and made his way down the corridor towards Jessie's office. After the fool he had made of himself with Nurse Hamilton, he had tried to request a different nurse to oversee his physical exercises, but had been refused. She had, he considered, dealt well with his overtures. She hadn't laughed at him. Not to his face, anyway. She'd blushed and stammered, and said that she was flattered, but she had a boyfriend. Robert didn't really care whether or not she was lying. He had asked her and that was enough for him. But it was still embarrassing to see her, even though a month had passed since he'd broached the subject.

As he strolled through the hospital, Robert thought about his assessment. Jessie had been acting strangely recently, and he'd assumed it was because she was coming to the end of her assignment. In just four weeks, Robert's fate would be determined. He would learn what the Board had decided. Jessie was busy compiling her report, he reasoned. It would make sense that she was a little distracted.

Humming gently under his breath, Robert reflected on the last five months. He had really enjoyed working with Jessie. Even though she'd been assessing him, he'd found her to be interesting and friendly and kind. Not like certain people, he thought, as he saw Dr Weaver heading towards him, a determined look on her face.

"Robert," Weaver began, as she approached him. "I've been looking for you all afternoon."

"How can I help you, Kerry?" He asked, smoothly, managing a smile and trying to keep his voice even. He knew that Kerry didn't want him around; knew that she was hoping Jessie's report would leave the Board no alternative but to terminate his contract. Without him in charge of the ER, Kerry could put someone much more malleable in charge – maybe Carter, or Lewis.

"I wanted to remind you about the function you agreed to attend last month. It's on Saturday night and I had a call from the organizers saying that they couldn't find your acceptance. They need to do the seating plan." Kerry's eyes glinted at Robert, knowing that she had him trapped. He'd agreed to attend on behalf of the hospital, during one of his weaker moments.

Robert's expression darkened, as he frowned in annoyance. He'd just about forgotten about that stupid dinner. What had he been thinking, agreeing to go out in public where everyone could see him? He knew the reason he'd agreed – Jessie had been telling him to take a chance and seize the day and he'd been so caught up thinking about how it might change his life that he'd said yes before he'd even known the words were out of his mouth. Now Kerry had him cornered. He couldn't deny it – half the Board had been in the room.

"It must have been lost in the post," Robert looked Kerry squarely in the eye and managed to lie with a straight face. "Do ring them and let them know I'm coming. I'm really looking forward to it."

"Call them yourself!" Kerry snapped. reaching into her pocket and pulling out a piece of paper "I've got better things to do than organise your social calendar." She handed him a square card which looked vaguely familiar to Robert. It was, he realized, his invitation. Black tie, he noted, spotting the small script in the right hand bottom corner. Great. He'd not tried on his tux since the accident.

"Certainly, Kerry," Robert smiled at his boss, the warmth not reaching his eyes. He squared his shoulders and slipped the invite in his pocket. "I'm sure it'll be fun."

Kerry ignored the sarcasm and turned away.

"I've put a folder on your desk," Robert heard her say as she disappeared down the corridor. "Make sure you've looked at it before you go. I don't want you embarrassing the Board here at County." She stopped and turned, a half smile on her face. "You wouldn't want anything to cloud their judgement so close to the report, now would you?"

Robert nodded and turned away, muttering curses under his breath. That was all he needed. He'd have to work fast. He stopped off at his desk on the way to Jessie's office and sure enough, there was a thin folder on his desk. He decided to pack up before he went to see Jessie. That way he could sneak off after their session and go and see his tailor. He was not going to look a fool on Saturday, and he had just over 48 hours to achieve that. He needed to book a taxi. He hoped, suddenly and fervently, that they wouldn't serve spaghetti. He'd been trying to master it with only one hand, as it was his one of his favourite dishes, but he couldn't quite manage without causing one hell of a mess.

Placing the folder in his briefcase, Robert had an idea. He needed to confirm his attendance; he might as well check to see what they were eating and whether he stood a chance or whether he was going to go hungry. He fished the invitation out of his pocket, trying to remember where he had seen it before. The colour and patterns on it looked really familiar, but he couldn't place it. Never mind, it would come to him.

Waiting for someone to answer his call, Robert thought about the enormity of the situation he had placed himself in. He wasn't sure why he had offered to go – he knew it was partly due to what Jessie had said to him, but, he realized, as he listened to the purr of the telephone, it was also done because part of him wanted the Board to realize that he was still an asset to the hospital. He wanted to keep his job. Without it, he was nothing. He had no family, few friends; here he had respect, of sorts, and something to keep him occupied. There were people here who were as familiar as his own face in the mirror. They kept him sane, even though some tried to drive him crazy; like Lizzie. And then there was Jessie. She….

"Can I help you?" The nasal voiced secretary at the other end jolted Robert out of his reverie.

"Oh yes, hello," Robert stammered. He'd been on the verge of thinking something important and he couldn't remember why he had called. Then it came to him. "My name is Dr Robert Romano," he began, his confidence seeping back into his voice. "I understand that you haven't received confirmation of my attendance at the tri-state medical symposium and awards dinner on Saturday." He squinted at the invitation, trying to remember if he'd attended one of these things before. He'd been to a couple of functions but they'd been a few years ago, and with everything that had happened, memories seemed to blur into one.

"Ah yes, Dr Romano. Thank you for calling. Your boss has confirmed your attendance on Saturday." Robert could hear the shuffling of papers. He took a deep breath and asked the question he'd been dreading to ask.

"Could you…um…could you let me know the menu for Saturday?" He enquired politely.

"I think there's a choice," the secretary rattled off a series of interesting dishes and Robert thought he could manage one or two without looking like a toddler.

Robert thanked the secretary, and replaced the receiver, relaxing visibly in his chair. He might just be able to get through this. That'd show the Board. Robert smiled to himself and realized that he wanted to tell Jessie about what he was going to do. Robert glanced hurriedly at the clock. Damn! It was just after three o'clock. Almost as he stood to leave, his pager went off.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Robert muttered smiling to himself at Jessie's uncanny sense of timing. He picked up his briefcase and locked his office door. He was practically running down the corridor and was so busy thinking about what he was going to say to Jessie that he collided with someone as he rounded the corner.

"Sorry," Robert said automatically and moved out of the way without seeing who it was he had bumped into.

"Hey, Robert. How are you?"

Lizzie's voice made him freeze. He turned and faced her. He'd hardly seen her since the incident in the toilets which was, he remembered, back in the Summer. He'd been deliberately avoiding her, he knew. The hurt had healed over the past two months, but he saw she was still beautiful. He waited for his heart to perform its now familiar back-flip as it always did when he saw her, and was surprised to note that it didn't come.

"I'm well, thanks, Lizzie." Robert's smile was genuine and Elizabeth frowned slightly as she studied her friend. He didn't look like he normally did but she couldn't put her finger on the difference. "I'm off to the tri-state dinner on Saturday." He grinned suddenly, as if enjoying a private joke, and Elizabeth's frown deepened as she realized that she'd not seen him like this since before the accident. She wondered idly if he'd met someone.

"Really? How come you're going?" Elizabeth asked sharply. She'd put her name forward for that dinner months ago and forgotten about it. Robert had reminded her, and it irked her that he was going. There were lots of connections to be made, if you knew the right person to talk to.

"I volunteered and the Board thought it was a good idea." Robert replied. He'd noticed that she was angry about something and decided not to push it. He'd had enough mood swings that afternoon. He didn't need Lizzie to make him upset. "Anyway," he continued, "I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got an appointment and I'm already late." He paused and looked at Elizabeth.

"It was lovely to see you again, Lizzie," he said. "I hope all's good with you."

Without waiting for a response he turned and walked down the corridor towards Jessie's office. He whistled to himself as he thought about what had just happened. He'd seen Lizzie and his heart hadn't broken. In fact it hadn't even flinched. He was, he decided, well and truly over her. Grinning at the thought, he reached Jessie's office and pushed open the door.

"….I'm really sorry… I'm busy then… seriously, I have to…" Jessie trailed off as she spun in her chair and faced Robert. She blushed, and lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry, Craig, I'm busy on Saturday. I have a work function…okay…okay, yes, of course I understand…yes I've had fun too…goodbye." Jessie replaced the receiver and glared at Robert. Why did he have to hear that? She fumed. It was bad enough that she'd been unable to stop thinking about Romano, and here he was, listening to her being dumped by another man. Jessie rose out of her chair, angrily.

"How dare you just barge in! And what time do you call this?" She demanded. Wincing as she placed her right leg on the floor, she stalked over to her coffee machine. "For God's sake, Romano, I don't spend the whole day just waiting for your session, you know. I mean, I'm…" she stopped, and ran her hands through her hair. Sighing she shook her head and looked at Robert. He could swear there were tears in her eyes, but she blinked them back fiercely as she turned away and started to make them both coffee.

Robert wondered what had happened to make Jessie act like this. He'd never seen her really angry or upset. This wasn't a side of her he'd ever experienced, and he found himself desperate to comfort her and cheer her up. Wondering at these emotions he was feeling, he moved towards her and disengaged her hands from the coffee pot.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he whispered, putting the coffee pot back on the machine and taking her left hand in his right. His prosthetic arm moved awkwardly up and bumped her right arm. "I'm sorry I'm late," he began. "I've got lots to tell you." How about I make you a coffee and we swap stories?" He smiled gently at Jessie and was pleased to see some of the twinkle in her eyes return.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Jessie sniffed, gently pulling away from him, and moving back behind her desk. "I'm just having a bad day. I'm trying to…" she gestured at her desk and the huge pile of papers on it. "…well, I've got this report to do in four weeks; you know how it is…!" She grinned at Robert, and sat down, making some attempt to tidy up the mess.

"No problem, Doctor," Robert said, and turned his attention to the coffee. He had become proficient at making the coffee with just one hand – he'd been practising at home – and he wanted Jessie to see how well he could manage. As he worked, his gaze wandered round her office, stopping on the bookshelf next to her water machine. A familiar square of card caught his eye and he nearly tipped the coffee over his shoes as he moved towards it. Hastily placing Jessie's mug on the desk, he moved over to the bookcase and reached for the card, seeing the now recognizable gold lettering.

"Are you…um…are you going to this?" he began, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

Jessie glanced idly at the invitation in his hand.

"Yeah, I said I would," she shrugged.

Robert put the card back and finished making the coffee. He sat down opposite Jessie.

"I'm going as well," he said quietly, not daring to meet her eyes.

Jessie looked at Robert, trying to decide how to deal with this information. She'd been looking forward to the dinner all week, and now here was another reason to be excited; and nervous. Romano would be there. She speculated briefly on what he would look like in a tuxedo. Hmm, this could be interesting, she thought.

"You'd better tell me all about it," she smiled. "Come on, spill the beans. How did Kerry manage to talk you into it?" She paused and sipped her coffee, wondering whether her next question was really a good idea. She knew that there were several reasons why she and Romano could never be together – apart from him being her patient, she didn't think he felt the same way about her. But it might be nice to spend some time with him. Sod it, she thought. Seize the day, right?

"And since we're both going," she added, "why don't we share a cab?"


	10. Chapter 10

_Apologies for any incorrect tenses - this was so difficult to write!_

CHAPTER 10

As the taxi pulled away from her apartment, Jessie found her keys and let herself into her apartment. Kicking off her shoes, she found her slippers, and padded into the kitchen to make herself a drink. She wandered into her bedroom and caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. Not bad, she thought, admiring her long, deep blue-green dress. It was one of her favourites, and she knew she looked good (even with the slippers). There had been a few glances in her direction during the evening, and she was pleased she'd chosen something other than black, which seemed to be ubiquitous at these sorts of occasions.

Jessie sat on her bed, taking her make up off. She thought about the evening. Romano had said nothing when she'd opened the door. He'd merely stared at her with a funny look on his face.

vvvvvv

As the taxi pulled away from Jessie's apartment, Robert leaned back and closed his eyes. His mind swam with images and he tried desperately to make sense of the whirl of emotions coursing through him.

When Jessie had opened her apartment door, he'd been captivated. She had looked more beautiful than he'd ever seen her, in her shimmering green dress; and he hadn't been able to find the words to tell her. A thousand compliments had flashed through his brain but everything he'd thought he should say sounded crass and insincere. So he'd said nothing and the moment had passed.

When they'd arrived, Robert had been painfully aware that this was his first public event since his accident. He knew that most people would have heard about what had happened to him. When the taxi had stopped, Robert's legs had wobbled slightly as he'd got out and closed the door. He'd turned round to find Jessie standing near, a reassuring look on her face. She'd whispered encouragement, and he'd drawn drew strength from her. She believed in him, and she knew him; these philistines didn't matter a damn.

Robert had squared his shoulders and had stood up straight.

"Perhaps you would do me the honour of accompanying me inside, Doctor Rhodes," he had asked Jessie, with a smile, his voice wavering only slightly.

vvvvvv

Dinner hadn't been too bad, Jessie reflected, as she slipped out of her dress, and struggled into her nightdress. It was difficult to eat with only one functioning arm; more so when in public, and Jessie supposed that Romano hadn't had the easiest time either (although his dinner companion had looked pleasant). Trapped next to her own dinner companion, an earnest and formidable man called Alan, who had dandruff and screaming halitosis, Jessie hadn't been able to talk to Romano during the meal, even though they'd been sat on the same table. She'd had to content herself with the occasional glance in his direction.

As dinner had progressed, Jessie had resigned herself to the fact that she wasn't going to get to talk to anyone but Alan. He'd monopolised her conversation, spending most of the dinner trying to persuade her to go and work for him in Indianapolis. Admittedly, he knew a great deal about all sorts of things, but Jessie had found herself wishing she was sitting with someone more interesting. She heard Romano laugh and had looked over to where he was sat. He'd seemed to have overcome his initial nervousness, and was smiling at his fellow guests. As Jessie had tried to tune Alan out, she could hear Romano tell the story of the time he'd operated on his beloved dog, Gretel.

Stealing furtive glances, Jessie had watched Romano tell his story. His face was animated, and he waved his arms around, nearly knocking more than one glass over. He'd acquired an audience; most of the table had ceased their conversations to listen to him. Isn't it funny? Jessie had thought; he's a different person outside the hospital. Where's the bitterness and anger now? His colleagues wouldn't recognize him.

As Robert had reached the climax of his story, the table had erupted into laughter, and Alan had looked round disapprovingly. Jessie had smiled to herself, and Robert's gaze had met hers. He'd grinned at her, and slipped her a surreptitious wink.

Alan had motioned in Romano's direction.

"Isn't that Robert Romano?"

Jessie had nodded.

"Hmm…didn't he used to be the best surgeon in Chicago?"

"I understand he still is." Jessie had replied, politely.

vvvvvv

Dinner hadn't been easy, Robert admitted; but he'd managed without incident. He'd been sat next to a fat, jolly woman, who had seemed ignorant of his unease, and oblivious to his disability. She'd chatted merrily throughout the dinner, which had helped him concentrate on the task in front of him. He'd glanced at Jessie from time to time, and a couple of times she'd caught his eye and smiled. She'd spent most of the dinner in deep conversation with the scary looking man on her right.

As dinner had progressed, Robert had found himself involved in a conversation about work. He'd tried to avoid reference to his accident, and had managed to gloss over the fact that he'd been demoted to ER Chief. One of his dinner companions had mentioned a colleague of hers operating on a family dog, and Robert had decided to contribute his own experience of surgery on animals. He'd started to speak, softly at first; the volume increasing as he'd realized that he had a captive audience.

As he was talking, Robert had snuck a look at Jessie and he could see that she was listening to him, even though she was pretending to listen to the man on her right. When he'd dropped in the punch line, and everyone had laughed, Robert had been pleased to see her smirking.

After the speeches (which had seemed to go on forever), the guests had dispersed, and Robert had decided to get a drink. As he'd approached the bar, he saw a familiar figure sitting on one of the bar stools.

"Hey, Hefner, long time no see! Still sleeping with women young enough to be your daughter?"

The man on the stool had turned round, his eyes sparkling with laughter.

"Hey, Rocket! Still pining after cute English doctors?"

He'd stood up and moved towards Robert. The two men hugged, and clapped each other on the back. Then they'd performed a series of bizarre hand gestures, made all the more comical by Robert's prosthetic.

Laughing, Robert had gestured towards the bar.

"Not anymore, buddy. Now do you want a drink? Although I'm sure it's your turn to offer, even if it is free here; you still owe me for that little blonde thing I introduced you to!"

The man had laughed, and had gestured to the barman.

"A bottle of your finest red wine for me and my old friend Rocket Romano!"

vvvvvv

After brushing her teeth, Jessie slid into bed and turned out the lamp. A few seconds later, she heard a small sound, and felt Rochester curl up on the pillow next to her. Jessie stroked the cat until she heard him purr. It was nice meeting some of Romano's friends, she thought...

Jessie had finally given Alan the slip. For good, she'd hoped. Scanning the room, she had quickly found Romano at the bar, laughing with a tall, handsome man with salt-and-pepper hair.

She'd walked over to them, and Romano had smiled at her as she'd approached.

"Oh God! Rescue me, please!" She'd groaned. "That man won't leave me alone!"

Robert had looked over her shoulder.

"I think the coast is clear." He'd motioned towards Gideon. "Jessie, I'd like to introduce you to Doctor Gideon McCarthy. He was a mate of mine back when I was studying to become a doctor. Hef, this is Doctor Jessie Rhodes; she works at County."

Gideon had looked down at Jessie, his eyes twinkling.

"So, Doctor Rhodes, are you an ER doctor, or a surgeon?" He'd asked.

"Um, neither actually," Jessie had replied. "And, please, call me Jessie." Stealing a quick glance at Romano, she'd briefly explained to Gideon what she did for a living. He was an attractive man, she'd decided. A couple of years shy of fifty, she surmised, but still good-looking. The grey in his hair merely added to the charm.

vvvvvv

"That's twenty four bucks, buddy!" The taxi driver's cheery voice broke Robert's reverie and he realised with a start that they'd arrived at his house. He reached into his pocket and drew out thirty dollars, which he passed through the window of the cab.

Robert found his keys and let himself into his house. He poured himself a glass of water, and leaned against the sink, thinking about Gideon. It'd been great at first to see him again…

The three of them had chatted, and in just ten minutes, Gideon had managed to embarrass Robert at least twice. After a while, Gideon had excused himself and left Robert alone with Jessie. He'd watched her silently for a minute, noticing things that he had never seen before, like the two small diamond earrings in her left ear, and the mole on her left collarbone. Then Jessie had turned to him, and his reverie had been broken.

"So _that's_ why you're called Rocket," she'd murmured. "Well, I can't say I didn't wonder!"

Robert had coughed hastily and changed the subject.

"You realize he was flirting with you," he'd pointed out, blushing only slightly.

"Hmm," Jessie had replied, noncommittally.

"Well, he's tall, handsome, talented, rich AND single. What more do you want?" Robert had asked, curiously.

Jessie'd smirked.

"Yes, well, he is a bit tall, isn't he? Besides – who would possibly be interested in a man whose nickname is 'Hefner'? I imagine he probably flirts with everybody. Anyway, enough of that. Are you having a nice time, Doctor Romano?"

Robert had nodded.

"You know, I might actually have something to be grateful to Kerry Weaver for. But don't quote me on that!"

vvvvvv

Rolling over in bed, Jessie massaged her right knee. She'd had many years to get used to her prosthetic, but her right leg still ached occasionally when she'd spent a lot of time in heels. Thinking about her disability brought her thoughts back to Romano, and the events of the evening. She didn't know what to think about it all…

Alone at the bar, Romano and Jessie had chatted for a while. Jessie had been thrilled to spend some time with him, outside her office. They'd talked about banal things; owning a pet, countries they'd visited; their favourite films. It doesn't matter what we're talking about, Jessie had thought. I'm finally getting to know the real Robert Romano.

vvvvvv

Wandering into the bedroom, Robert caught sight of himself in the mirror. Not bad, he thought. Even for a guy with one arm. His tailor had done an excellent job. Thinking about his disability brought his thoughts back to Jessie, and the events of the evening. He didn't know what to think about it all…

Robert had really enjoyed talking to Jessie. He hadn't known she had a cat, or that she'd once spent three months backpacking round Europe. He certainly hadn't realized that she'd never seen the 'Godfather' trilogy. I'll have to rectify that, he'd thought.

Whilst they were talking, Gideon had wandered over. Robert was surprised to feel a wave of disappointment wash over him as he saw his friend approach.

"So, Jessie, can I tear you away from the clutches of my old friend Rocket and have the pleasure of a dance?" Gideon had manoeuvred himself until he'd stood in between them. He'd smiled his most charming smile at Jessie, and Robert's shoulders had bristled with anger. Moving round to stand next to Jessie, the words had left Robert's mouth before he'd been aware of what he was saying.

"Uh, actually Gideon, Doctor Rhodes promised _me_ the first dance." He'd glanced quickly at Jessie, then smiled triumphantly at his friend.

"That's true, I did," Jessie had added, hastily.

"I can wait." Gideon leaned against the bar. "But, Robert, I thought you told me earlier that you'd stopped pining after…ow! That was my foot! Be careful out there, Jessie. He's got two left feet!"

Jessie had sighed dramatically.

"What I wouldn't _give_ for two left feet!"

Robert had laughed uproariously. and he'd steered Jessie gently on to the dance floor, the two of them enjoying their own private joke, leaving Gideon at the bar, looking mystified.

vvvvvv

Smiling in the darkness, Jessie thought about her dance with Romano…

Out on the dance floor, Romano had pulled Jessie tightly towards him. She'd rested her hand on his shoulder, and leaned into him. Closing her eyes, she'd let him lead her round the floor. I can't believe I'm doing this, Jessie had thought. Her body had tingled with desire and her heart had thumped so loudly in her chest; she'd been sure that Romano could hear.

She hadn't noticed Gideon watching them.

vvvvvv

Robert struggled out of his tuxedo and ambled into the bathroom to brush his teeth. And what about that dance? He thought…

Robert had wondered what the hell he was doing as he guided Jessie on to the dance floor. He'd spoken without thinking. He'd have to explain himself to Jessie. Pulling her tightly towards him, Robert had been determined that he would out-dance Gideon. It was only a matter of time before he would cut in, Robert knew.

"Thank you for helping me out there," he'd whispered softly. "Gideon and I, well, we can be a bit competitive. You see, we…"

"It's no problem," Jessie had murmured in his ear. I used to be best friends with a 'Gideon'. She and I used to compete at everything. I know what it's like."

Robert had nodded, and continued to dance. He'd closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of Jessie's body next to his. Pulling her imperceptibly closer, he'd breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of her skin, and her perfume. God, she smells so good, he'd thought.

When his body began to respond to the proximity of the woman in his arms, he had started to panic slightly. What if she notices? He'd thought, wildly; what am I going to do? He had actually been grateful when Gideon had tapped him on the shoulder.

"Mind if I cut in?"

vvvvvv

Jessie plumped the pillows and sighed in the darkness. Dancing with Gideon had been unsettling, she thought…

Gideon had wrapped strong arms around Jessie and pulled her close. Jessie had responded automatically, her head still replaying the dance with Romano.

"Well, I'll say something for Rocket, he's certainly hit the jackpot this time!" Gideon muttered.

Jessie had looked up at him, startled.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about you. You two are so into each other, you could have been alone on that dance floor." Gideon had smiled.

"I don't know what you mean," Jessie had responded, stiffly. "I'm his doctor. We're friends. That's all there is to it."

Gideon had chuckled.

"You might be able to fool yourself, sweetheart, but you're not fooling me. You have no idea how you two looked out here, do you? Both of you wearing the same dreamy expression." Sighing to himself, Gideon had pulled Jessie closer. " Almost makes me believe in happily ever after," he murmured, into her hair.

Jessie had stopped dancing, and looked up at Gideon, her expression neutral.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to powder my nose…"

vvvvvv

Washing his face, Robert thought about how he'd felt, watching his friend dance with Jessie…

He hadn't been able to watch for long. Strange things were happening to him, and he hadn't been able to figure it out. He'd decided to leave them to it; if Jessie decided to go out with Gideon, there wasn't anything he could do about it, he'd reasoned. She was a grown woman, after all, and he didn't own her. And he had warned her about what Gideon was like.

He'd turned away, and had decided to go to the bathroom, when he heard a voice call his name. Looking around, he'd spotted his old colleague, Steve, gesturing in his direction.

vvvvvv

After Jessie had excused herself from Gideon, she'd gone straight to the bathroom. When she'd checked her make-up, she had wandered back out to the party, thinking about what Gideon had said. Could everyone see how she felt? Could Romano?

Romano was over near the dance floor, chatting to a man with a shock of blond hair. As he spotted her, he'd beckoned her towards them.

"Hey, Jessie. Meet my friend Steve. We used to work together, a long, long time ago. You guys'll have to excuse me, I won't be a minute." Slipping away, he'd left them alone.

When Jessie had introduced herself to Steve, he had shaken her hand, and looked her up and down, appraisingly. Not used to being the subject of such obvious scrutiny, Jessie had stepped away slightly from the man. Suddenly, he'd gripped her right arm, just above the elbow. Smiling conspiratorially, he'd leaned in close, taking advantage of their proximity to try and look down her dress.

"So how much is he paying you?" Steve had leered, his breath reeking of alcohol. Jessie's heart had leaped, and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

"I don't understand what you mean," she'd answered, truthfully. Had Romano told Steve about their sessions? Had Steve misunderstood and not realised she was part of the hospital staff?

"My old friend Rocket Romano," Steve had drunkenly gestured in Romano's direction. "He must have paid a fair amount to hire you… I hope he's getting his money's worth!"

Jessie had looked blankly at Steve. She had begun to realize what he was talking about. She wasn't going to start a fight at the dinner; there was her reputation to think about. And besides, he was Romano's friend. If Steve wanted to think she was a hooker or an escort girl that was his problem. She'd tell him about the double doctorate and the high IQ later. After she'd 'accidentally' poured her drink over him.

"Wow, so I bet you thought you'd struck out tonight, eh?" Steve's grip on her elbow had tightened and he'd belched loudly. "Bad luck on getting lumbered with Romano; he's not really a hit with the ladies, is he? Especially now, eh? I mean look at him; no wonder he's got to pay you to go out with him – who'd want to date a cripple!" Steve had laughed loudly and Jessie had responded with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Okay, she'd thought, now she was really angry. This man was supposedly Romano's friend, and here he was being nasty about him. Jessie had been about to say something when Steve had suddenly released her elbow. He'd continued to laugh to himself.

vvvvvv

Robert climbed into bed, thinking back to what had happened later. It had been great at first, to run into Steve. He hadn't seen him for a while. They'd worked together many years previously, back before Romano had started to work at County. When Robert had moved to Chicago, they'd seen each other a couple of times a year. Well, I certainly misjudged that one, he thought…

After his visit to the bathroom, Robert had gone to get another bottle of wine. Walking back to Steve and Jessie, he'd spotted that Steve seemed to be laughing at something Jessie had said.

Jessie had turned round to face him, and he'd been puzzled by the strange expression on her face. She hadn't looked happy, but Robert had been unable to work out what her expression meant. Struggling only slightly, he'd put the glasses and the bottle on the table next to them, and poured out some wine for Jessie and himself.

"I was just telling Jessie here that you made a good choice," Steve had slurred, leering at Jessie. "I hope she's worth the price you paid!"

Robert had turned to Jessie, a questioning look in his eyes.

"…I mean, what with you being slightly at a disadvantage now, eh, buddy?" Steve had nudged Robert, almost losing his balance, and Robert's wine had sloshed dangerously in his glass. "Don't see you finding anyone now you've lost an arm. Not without paying for it, anyway!" Steve had laughed and Robert had wondered briefly why he hadn't realized how drunk Steve had been when he'd first seen him, and why he, Robert, was standing here letting himself be ridiculed by someone who was supposed to be his friend.

vvvvvv

Jessie snuggled under the covers, shifting Rochester, who found a comfortable position at the foot of the bed. It was nice to have someone defending my honour, she thought sleepily. Although I wasn't expecting that…

"And this one isn't bad, I suppose!" Steve had added, gesturing wildly in Jessie's direction, nearly catching her face with his hand. He had spoken as if Jessie wasn't there. "I tell you what, pal, how about you let me have her when you've finished?" The last question had been accompanied by a wink and another leer in Jessie's direction. Jessie had shuddered in spite of herself, and had snuck a pleading glance at Romano.

vvvvvv

Robert struggled to get comfortable. He was still trying to fathom why he'd done what he did then…

Robert had been unable to believe what he was hearing. Seeing the expression on Jessie's face, he'd realized what he had to do. Shaking his head slightly, he'd put down his glass. He'd been able to cope with Steve's insults to him, but not to Jessie. Before any of them had known what was happening, Robert had swung out with his right fist and connected, solidly, with Steve's jaw. Steve had collapsed, moaning on the floor.

"I think you owe my friend an apology," Robert had said softly. "She's a _doctor_, not an escort, and she was invited here on the basis of her own talents. And as for you, well, you're just an asshole."

Robert had picked up the wine bottle and walked away from Steve. He didn't look at Jessie. He had felt sure that if she'd looked into his eyes, she would have known at once what he'd just worked out for himself.

vvvvvv

Jessie had been so stunned when Romano had hit Steve that she hadn't moved. As a group of people began to gather round Steve on the floor, she'd moved away and looked round for Romano. Someone had tried to grasp her arm but she'd gasped and glared at the man until he'd backed away. Time to leave, she'd thought.

She'd found a quiet place in the corner of the bathroom, and called a cab. After ten minutes or so, she'd composed herself enough to leave the bathroom and collect their coats, before making her way to the door.

Romano had gone outside, and was sat on the steps. Their taxi had just arrived. Jessie had walked past him, carrying his coat. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, she'd turned round to look at him.

"Coming?" she'd smiled, holding out his coat.

Gratefully, Romano had stood and reached out his hand for his coat. He'd been more than a little surprised when Jessie had squeezed his hand.

"Thanks for that," she'd whispered, softly.

"You're welcome." Robert had smiled.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Jessie drummed her fingers nervously on the table. In front of her sat the Board of County Hospital. Dr Anspaugh looked over the top of his glasses, directly at her. She met his eyes, and smiled. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn't her who was being tested, or judged.

Outside the snow had just started to fall, and the world was beginning to turn white. Jessie thought about the holiday season, fast approaching. Thanksgiving was just around the corner, and then; Christmas. Jessie wondered what she should do, whether she should start to make plans. She'd been so preoccupied with her work, and with the report for the Board, that she'd not realized that the year had slipped away. This year, she'd been invited to spend Thanksgiving with Susan and Chuck (things were going much better, according to Susan), but she'd neglected to make any decisions regarding where she was going to spend Christmas. Her mother had been on the telephone, pleading with her daughter to come home and see the family, but Jessie knew that going back was, in her mother's eyes, an admission that she was not happy in her adopted city, and the last thing she wanted was to be emotionally blackmailed into returning to England. Whilst she missed it desperately, and it remained her home, she knew that there was still some unfinished business here in America.

One of the Board members cleared his throat, and Jessie looked up, startled. But he'd not been trying to get her attention, and the Board members continued to scan through the neatly typed report she'd submitted to them just one week earlier.

Jessie continued to drum her fingers, rapping a gentle tattoo on the table, her mind on other things. The clock ticked the morning away; it's motion loud in the silence.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Dr Anspaugh's voice broke the peace, "Can I take it that we've all read Dr Rhodes's report by now?"

Most of the Board nodded their assent; a couple murmured, and out of the corner of her eye, Jessie noticed Kerry Weaver frown slightly.

"Donald," Kerry began, "perhaps we could ask Dr Rhodes for the reasoning behind some of her recommendations? I'm sure we'd all like to hear them."

"In good time, Kerry," Dr Anspaugh smiled indulgently at Kerry. He knew how she felt about Robert Romano, and could tell that she was itching to launch into her own opinions of his future.

Jessie kept her features neutral, and tried to ignore the funny feeling in her stomach. She, like Anspaugh, knew that Dr Weaver had her own agenda when it came to Romano. He had told her often enough about their disagreements. She wondered if they had realized how she felt about her patient. She'd tried desperately to control her feelings, and had prepared the report with the utmost degree of professionalism. There wasn't any way that anyone who read her report could tell that she'd fallen in love with Romano, she was sure of that. Whether she could keep her face and body from betraying her feelings was another matter altogether. Perhaps she _was_ being tested after all.

"Right," Dr Anspaugh began, looking down at Jessie's report, and then up at Jessie over the top of his glasses. "Dr Rhodes, on behalf of my fellow members of the Board here at County General, I'd like to thank you for your hard work over the past six months, which includes the preparation of this particularly comprehensive report." He gestured to the document on the table in front of him. " It's obvious from your report that you have spent a great deal of time with Dr Romano, and as I'm sure you've realized, that's not always an easy task!" He smiled, and some of the other doctors chuckled.

Jessie managed a small smile which did not quite reach her eyes. She knew what Anspaugh was implying. Romano was difficult, there was no denying that, but she'd also learned stuff about him over the last six months she would have sworn he'd never told anyone else. Romano was no more difficult than anyone else once you got to know him. Jessie recognized that people only thought he was hard work because they didn't know him, and since nobody had ever bothered to get to know him, they weren't in a position to make a valid judgement.

"However," Anspaugh continued, "you appear to have covered all the points we asked of you at the beginning of your assignment." He flicked through the report, and stopped as a particular piece of text caught his eye. "Could you tell us your views on Dr Romano's future at this hospital?"

vvvvvv

Robert sat on the bench and watched the snow fall around him. He shrugged himself deeper into his warm coat and pulled the hood tighter around him. Unable to stay in the house, while his fate was being decided elsewhere, he'd decided to go for a walk. He'd wandered around aimlessly for an hour or two, and found himself in the park near the movie theater, just a few blocks from County.

Sitting down on one of the park's benches, Robert cast his mind back to the time he'd found Jessie here one afternoon, during the Spring. She'd been sat on the grass, her legs tucked up under her, reading a John Irving novel. He'd only recently begun the sessions with her, and he'd been intrigued at her choice of author. She'd teased him, saying that he'd assumed that she'd be reading Shakespeare or Chaucer, just because she was English. He'd thought about asking to join her, or buying her an ice cream, but the moment had passed, and he'd walked away.

As he sat on the bench, just six weeks before Christmas, Robert thought about that warm afternoon nearly six months previously. At the time, he couldn't have imagined he would feel the way he did today. So much had changed since he'd met Jessie. And now, at this very minute, she was sealing his fate. Was she going to recommend that he stay at County? Was that what he wanted? Would it be easier to try and adapt to his new life in Chicago, or should he just cut his losses?

Robert sipped his coffee quietly. He realized that, after six months, he still hadn't made a concrete decision about his future. He knew he could teach; or at least that he had the ability to be a good teacher, but he still wasn't sure if he could accept that he would never perform surgery again. But he liked Chicago – it was as good a place as any, and he felt that at least he could name the people who disliked him; if he moved to a new city, he'd have to make enemies all over again.

Grinning at his own joke, Robert looked around him. Apart from the occasional dog walker, the park was deserted. A lot like my life, he thought. If it wasn't for Jessie, I'd be totally alone. Robert cast his mind back to the awards dinner the previous month. The way Jessie had looked at him just before he'd thumped that jerk Steve. The look in her eyes that had melted his heart. That had made him feel protective and angry at the same time. That was the moment when he'd realized that he was in love with Dr Jessie Rhodes.

The month that followed the dinner had been difficult for Robert. He'd cancelled a couple of sessions, terrified that she would be able to read his feelings. When they had met, she'd been distracted by the impending report; the sessions hadn't gone particularly well. He'd spent many evenings sitting at home, wondering what to do about his feelings. He didn't want to spend the next six or seven years being Jessie's friend, and pining after her like he had done with Elizabeth. He wasn't the same man as before the accident – it was time to start acting like a new man. Just the day before, he'd finally come to a decision: when Jessie's report had been delivered, and she was no longer his doctor, he was going to ask her out.

Robert finished his coffee, and stood up. He'd slept like a log the previous night, finally free from the burden he'd been carrying around. Jessie had taught him to be strong and live life to the full – he was determined to make sure that he did. And that started with booking the best restaurant in Chicago for tomorrow night to celebrate the end of the assessment.

Smiling at the thought of Jessie walking into the restaurant on his arm, Robert made his way to work. Today was going to be good day, he decided. And tomorrow would be even better…

vvvvvv

"Doctor Romano," the secretary looked over her glasses at Robert, "the Board are ready for you now."

Robert nodded at her and walked over to the boardroom door. Taking a deep breath, he turned the handle and entered the room where he would learn his fate.

vvvvvv

"…And so the Board has decided to offer you redundancy, with two years' full pay and benefits…"

Robert was aware that Dr Anspaugh was talking, but he had stopped listening several sentences ago. His whole world had come crashing down; it didn't matter what Donald said, nothing could change the cold hard truth. He'd been betrayed. By the one person he thought he could trust. Jessie had abandoned him. She'd recommended to the Board that his contract be terminated. Nothing else mattered but the fact that the woman he loved had let him down… just like everyone else in my life, Robert thought, as he gazed at his former boss and friend, his eyes blurry as he blinked back tears. Everyone lets me down, sooner or later.

"…Of course, you'll receive all of this in writing," Anspaugh continued. "And we'd like you to stay on in your current role until the end of the year."

Robert nodded dumbly. Of course, he thought; they want me to work the holidays. They know I have no-one to share Christmas with; why wouldn't I prefer to be at work? And I bet they're expecting me to tell them where to go. Well, I won't give them the satisfaction. I will not leave until I'm forcibly ejected from the building. Swallowing back his tears, and the remains of his pride, Robert looked directly at Dr Anspaugh.

"Would it be possible for the staff on the ER not to find out about this? I'd rather just sneak away quietly after New Year's rather than have everyone make a big deal about it."

Dr Anspaugh nodded.

"Of course, Robert. We can certainly manage that." Anspaugh paused and glanced at Kerry. "Dr Weaver, I assume you have no objection to that. And that you will abide by Robert's request?"

Kerry managed a small vicious smile.

"Very well," she said, looking squarely at Robert. Game over, she thought. I win.

Robert met her eyes but said nothing. He could guess how elated she was feeling. He was no longer the spanner in the works. Well, screw you, Kerry, he thought. At least I went down fighting. He glanced back at Dr Anspaugh.

"Thank you for your time, Robert," Anspaugh said, gathering up the papers in front of him. Jessie's report, Robert realized with a jolt. He snuck a glance at his watch – half past five. Hopefully Jessie would still be in her office. He had one or two things to say to her.

"If that's all," Robert stood to leave, "I'd better get back to the ER." He stood up to go, and paused, suddenly struck by a thought. "Where's Dr Corday?" He asked, "Surely she should be here?"

Kerry Weaver smiled, and this time the smile was genuine.

"Dr Corday abstained from the meeting. She refused to vote."

vvvvvv

Jessie sat in her office, and thought about Romano. She wondered what the Board had decided to do. It had been possibly the most difficult assessment on a patient she had done. The Board had had a week to consider her report and had spent the hours between her interview and now to digest her own comments. She looked at her watch – just after half past five. Romano's interview was scheduled for five o'clock, she remembered. They must be nearly finished.

And so his future has been decided, she thought. Now I need to decide what to do about mine. Her gaze fell on the letter on the desk in front of her. It was a job offer from a hospital in Boston, similar to what she was doing here in Chicago, but on a more permanent basis, with a significant increase in pay. A golden opportunity to develop her skills. Boston had headhunted her, based on her reputation, and was asking her to head up a new team they were setting up. If she decided to take the job, she'd be able to help in shaping the structure of the department - the hiring of other counsellors and experts in her field. She'd have a lot of influence. It was very tempting.

And then, there was always England, Jessie acknowledged. One of the major London hospitals had contacted her the previous month, and asked whether she was interested in a position with them. She'd declined, but politely, and had indicated that she would possibly be interested if they were thinking of asking again in the future.

So many decisions to make, Jessie thought. So many questions still to…

"What the fuck did you write!" Romano burst through the door, his face red with anger. Jessie jumped at the interruption, and looked up at Romano. Oh shit, she thought.

"Take a seat, Dr Romano," Jessie said, trying to keep her voice calm. Her heart was thumping so loudly she felt sure he could hear it. "What happened in the meeting?"

Romano paced the office heatedly.

"What do you mean, 'what happened'? You know damn well – you told them to get rid of me!"

Jessie's eyes widened in dismay.

"They terminated your contract?" She asked. "Listen, Romano, I didn't tell them to…"

Robert stopped pacing and faced Jessie. She had never seen him look so furious.

"Don't talk crap," Romano sneered. " I know exactly what you did. You screwed me. You made me believe that I was able to make a new start, even though my life was fucked. You made me think there was hope. And now I realize that you were lying to me. I AM fucked. There's nothing left now – don't you see? County was all I had left. And you couldn't even let me have that, could you?"

Jessie stood up and made to move towards Romano.

"But Romano, I…"

"Don't you touch me!" Robert snarled, backing away.

Jessie tried again.

"Romano, listen. I didn't tell the Board to fire you. I recommended further counselling, and a reduction in your workload, and…"

"Further counselling? I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than spend another minute of my time in your company." Robert shook his head sadly. "And to think that I almost…I can't believe I was so stupid as to trust you." He blinked back tears and turned away.

Jessie didn't know what to do. She tried another approach.

"Didn't you say countless times that you hated it here?" she began. "Perhaps this is for the best?"

Romano turned back to face her, and the icy hatred in his eyes made her shiver.

"For the best? For the BEST?" He scowled at Jessie, and started to unclip his prosthetic. "Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse, it has, and you tell me it's for the best? How dare you!"

"But I was hired to assess you..." Jessie protested.

"No." Robert looked at Jessie. " You were hired to give the Board a valid reason to get rid of me." He lifted the straps holding his prosthetic, over his head, and glared at Jessie.

"Romano, please, we should talk..." Jessie pleaded, her eyes filling with tears. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Robert rolled his eyes.

"Oh don't look so fucking sad. I don't need your sympathy! Christ – I had you all wrong, didn't I? Well, I'm not wrong about one thing. I am the best surgeon in this fucking hospital even with only one arm, and you and the Board can go screw yourselves." He threw his prosthetic arm at Jessie. It landed on her desk, knocking a mug over. Jessie watched through blurry tears as the coffee spilled over her work, but made no move to clean it up.

Robert turned away, and pushed open Jessie's office door. He wobbled slightly, unused to the shift in his centre of gravity. He stormed out, his eyes were swimming with tears. He couldn't believe what had happened. Just when he though his future had finally begun to take shape, the rug had been pulled out from under him again. Was he ever going to get a break? He stumbled into the elevator, ignoring everyone, and rode up to the roof. He'd not been up there since his accident, but right now, it seemed like the most appropriate place to go. Once out there, he stood, shivering, looking out on the lights of the city, the evening sky as bleak as his life had become.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

"Come in, Robert." Dr Anspaugh sighed, as his friend walked in. Robert's face was set in its usual frown, and Anspaugh knew that this wasn't going to be a barrel of laughs. He moved some files from a chair and invited Robert to sit down.

"How can I help you?" He asked.

Robert waved a piece of paper at Anspaugh.

"Firstly; this shift pattern sucks. I am not doing both Christmas AND New Year. You can find yourself some other poor sap. I'll do one or the other. You decide. I don't care."

Anspaugh took the paper from Robert and studied it for a minute. Robert was right. It wasn't fair to give him shifts over both Christmas and the New Year. He wondered idly if Kerry had drawn up the rota.

"Okay," he said. "How about you work Christmas? We'll make your last shift the... the 28th? Is that acceptable?" He proffered the paper towards Robert who nodded and put the paper back in his pocket.

"So, if that was firstly," Anspaugh continued, making a note of the shift change, "there was presumably another reason why you came to see me. I can only assume that it was about the meeting the other day."

Robert nodded again. It had taken him several days before he had calmed down enough to go and see Donald. The anger and betrayal was still fresh in his mind, but he had managed to control his feelings enough so he felt confident that he wouldn't hit anyone. That was the most important thing. The old Romano would have gone in, swinging. This one realized that two years' pay and benefits was a great deal of money. And more than that, it was a question of pride.

"Donald, what I really want is for you to tell me what Dr Rhodes said in her report." Robert began. "I want to know why she recommended you terminate my contract."

Anspaugh held up a hand for Robert to stop.

"Robert, Dr Rhodes recommended nothing of the sort. She said many things about you, and put forward many suggestions, but that was certainly not one of them."

Robert frowned. He didn't understand. If Jessie hadn't advocated his dismissal, then how come he got fired anyway? He voiced the thought to Dr Anspaugh.

Donald sighed. He hadn't wanted to tell his friend.

"Robert – listen. The report detailed several recommendations, and most of them involved a great deal of expense on our part. One of the Board members proposed that due to the large sums of money we were talking about to keep you on here, the Board should vote on whether this course of action was financially viable. Dr Corday refused to participate, saying that it was your career we were talking about, not just the purchase of a new piece of equipment. That's why she wasn't at the meeting last week." He paused. "The vote went 4–3. I didn't have a choice, but to abide by their decision. I'm sorry."

Robert sat silently, absorbing the information. So Jessie had been telling the truth, he thought. She hadn't put forward the idea to terminate his contract. Someone had suggested a vote. He was sure it had been Kerry. But it wasn't Jessie's fault. She hadn't known what was going to happen.

But Lizzie had known, he realized, suddenly. And her abstention meant… it meant that he lost his job.

Robert stood up. He looked at Anspaugh.

"So just to clarify; Jessie's report said nothing about getting rid of me?"

"Quite the reverse," Donald replied, wondering where this line of questioning was headed. He wondered if Robert hadn't quite grasped that the woman he loved had jeopardised his career.

"So give me a copy of the report, then" Robert said, holding out his hand.

Anspaugh stood up.

"I'm sorry, Robert. I can't do that," he said. His voice softened as he looked at Robert. "Why don't you go and see Dr Corday? I think she'll be back after the holiday weekend." He looked conspiratorial. "I seem to remember that every member of the Board was given a copy of the report. Maybe she can help?"

Robert nodded, grimly.

"Maybe she can."

vvvvvv

"Hey, Jessie. Earth to Jessie! Are you okay?" Susan's voice startled Jessie out of her reverie.

"Huh? Oh sorry, Susan. I was miles away. I'm not very good company today, I'm afraid." Jessie looked down at her plate. Funny, she thought, I don't remember finishing my meal. Am I that out of it?

"You know, Jessie, it might help if you shared it; whatever it is, I'm sure we can deal with it," Susan said softly. She had seen her friend unhappy for more than a week now, and the Thanksgiving meal had done nothing to lift Jessie's spirits.

"I'll clear away, honey." Chuck tactfully retreated to the sanctuary of the kitchen. Susan could hear him humming to himself as he started the dishes, and she smiled, aware of how lucky she was to have him in her life.

"Is it about Craig?" Susan asked, as Jessie sipped her wine. "I thought you weren't seeing him." Jessie shook her head, and Susan frowned. She wracked her brains, trying to work out why Jessie was so unhappy. Then she had a thought. "Is it the report you did for Romano?"

Jessie looked up sharply. How much did Susan know? She wondered.

"Is that it? What happened with the report? Can you tell me why Romano's spent the past week walking around looking like thunder?" Susan pressed, refilling Jessie's glass. "Although that's not necessarily a change from the norm," she added.

Jessie sighed, "I'm sorry, Susan. I can't talk about the report. But Romano's angry with me. He thinks I'm responsible for…for what happened. He doesn't want anything more to do with me." She sighed again. "I blew it," she muttered, "I didn't get a chance to tell him…"

Susan's brow furrowed. What was Jessie on about? Why should she care if Romano was upset? What didn't she tell him? She looked at her friend, and Jessie met her gaze. Suddenly Susan understood. It was there, in Jessie's eyes, visible to anyone who knew what they were looking for.

"Hold on a minute," Susan began, pouring herself a drink. I think I'm going to need one for this, she thought. "Have I understood this right? You actually like him?" Jessie merely raised an eyebrow.

"Okay - so you _really_ like him?" Susan persisted.

Jessie just smiled.

Susan's jaw dropped in realization.

"You're kidding me," she said, incredulously, "… are you in _love_?"

Jessie opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. She looked away from Susan and drank some more wine. Susan heard her mumble something into her wineglass, but didn't catch what she'd said.

"Are you?" Susan asked again, unable to believe that this was happening.

Jessie looked back at Susan and nodded dumbly.

"Are you sick?" Susan asked, pretending to feel Jessie's forehead.

"I'm not sick," Jessie declared. "And I'm not crazy either. It just happened. And nothing will ever come of it because he thinks I wronged him in the worst way imaginable." She stood up and began to pace the room, angrily.

Susan sat back, thoroughly confused. She didn't know what had been in the report, and no-one had told her about the results, but whatever it was, Romano had not been happy, that much was obvious. Susan resolved to get to the bottom of that, but first, there was her friend and her friend's bizarre taste in men to deal with.

"So, what will you do? Will you tell him how you feel?" She asked.

"And the point of that would be what?" Jessie enquired. "He doesn't ever want to see me again; he said something about sticking pins in his eyes rather than spending time with me…I don't think that's going to change."

"So I guess you'll just work through it, until, you know, you get over it." Susan mused.

Jessie stopped pacing and shook her head.

"Get over it? I don't think I can," she said, "not while I stay here in Chicago, anyway." She looked over at Susan. "I've been offered a job, in Boston. It's a really great opportunity." She shrugged. "Maybe once I'm away from him, these feelings will fade, and I can get on with my life."

"But you'd have to leave Chicago," Susan pointed out.

"True," Jessie admitted. "But I've not taken the job yet. I'm going to Boston in a couple of days to check it out. See what my job entails; where I'd be working, that kind of thing. Find out if I could like it there."

"And what will you do about Romano?" Susan asked.

Jessie sat back down, and drained her wine glass.

"There's nothing to do." She said, flatly. "He thinks I've betrayed him. He doesn't want to see me. I paged him a couple of times after he came to see me in my office, but he didn't respond." She shrugged. "So that's it. He's never going to forgive me. And I'll never get to tell him how I feel."

vvvvvv

Robert knocked on Elizabeth's office door. He knew she was in today, he'd stolen a look at the shift rota.

"Come in!" Elizabeth called. She looked up as Robert opened the door, and he could have sworn he saw a blush steal over her face. She looked away hastily, and busied herself with the papers on her desk.

"Hello, Lizzie," Robert said, cheerily, ignoring her discomfort. He sat down opposite her. "Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?"

Elizabeth looked at Robert, and he could see the guilt stamped across her face.

"It was lovely, thanks," she replied, distractedly. That was not the first question she'd expected when she saw Robert in the doorway of her office. "Listen, Robert; we need to talk."

Robert raised his eyebrows but said nothing, waiting for Elizabeth to continue. When she saw that he wasn't going to say anything, she blurted out her feelings.

"Robert I feel terrible." She began. "I'm so sorry about what happened. And I'm sorry for avoiding you all this time. I just felt so bad about everything…" she trailed off, and met Robert's gaze. "I didn't know that the vote would be so close. I didn't know that if I'd voted, then I might have tied the result. I'm sorry, Robert." She looked down at her desk. "I just couldn't believe they were prepared to decide your future with a simple show of hands."

Elizabeth concentrated on the papers in front of her, to avoid looking at her friend. She'd been feeling awful about the whole situation since she'd heard about the outcome, and hadn't know what to do. She'd been expecting him to shout at her – perhaps she would have welcomed that – but this quiet, steely Robert was not what she'd anticipated.

Robert smiled sadly.

"It seems that you managed to step away before you dirtied your hands, Lizzie." He stated, simply.

"It wasn't like that, Robert," she protested. "I was trying to stand up for my opinion…and for you," she admitted. "I didn't know it would backfire like that."

Robert shrugged and said nothing.

Elizabeth wondered how she could fix the mess she had caused. She had been friends with Robert Romano for many years; she knew him better than almost anyone. She was only too aware of the torch he continued to carry for her. Perhaps if she appealed to his more base instincts, she could make up for her error of judgement. After all, she always enjoyed Robert's company, and dinner or a movie was a small price to pay for what she had done to his career.

"Is there anything I can do to make up for it?" she asked, almost coquettishly.

Robert regarded her, thoughtfully. Elizabeth wondered briefly if she hadn't just volunteered to do more than she wanted.

"Actually, Lizzie, there is something you have that I need." Robert leaned forward. "Dr Rhodes's report: can I have your copy, please?"

Elizabeth opened her mouth to protest, but then thought better of it, and nodded. She rummaged through the papers on her desk until she found Jessie's report. Wordlessly, she handed it to Robert, who started to skim the contents, a half smile on his lips.

"Was there anything else I can do?" Elizabeth asked, wondering if he was teasing her. "Would you like to come round for tea after your shift? I know Ella would love to see you."

"What? Um, no thanks, Lizzie." Robert replied breezily, his gaze never leaving the report. "I've got some reading to do tonight." He stood up, and looked briefly at Elizabeth. "Thanks for this," he said, moving towards the door. "I know I'm not supposed to see it. I owe you one."

Elizabeth frowned in confusion.

"But aren't you still angry with me?" She asked. "Surely you hold me responsible?"

Robert turned back from the door, and regarded his friend.

"I think I've laid the blame at the wrong door already on this, so I'm not going to blame you. I reckon you did me a favour there." He said. Elizabeth's frown deepened. "Everything happens for a reason, right?" Robert added, as if to clarify his point.

Elizabeth nodded, dumbly. She had no idea what Robert was saying.

"See you later, Lizzie!" Robert left Elizabeth's office, thinking to himself. He had Jessie's report. Now he would be able to see what she'd written. And if what Anspaugh had said was true, Robert realized; it was his turn to apologize to a friend.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13.

The sun shone brightly, as Robert walked to work. Whistling to himself, he thought about what he had learned the night before, and about the day ahead, and the things he wanted to say to Jessie when he saw her. Ahead, he saw a familiar figure, wrapped up warm against the cold, her shoulder-length blonde hair escaping from the woolly hat she was wearing. Increasing his pace, Robert caught up with her; it was Susan Lewis.

"Good morning, Dr Lewis!" Robert beamed at his colleague. "And how are we this morning?"

Susan turned to face Romano, her forehead creased with confusion.

"Hello, Dr Romano. You look happy. Um, did you win the lottery last night?" She asked.

Robert laughed and shook his head.

"No, Dr Lewis. Although perhaps I should start playing! Maybe my luck's changing?" Robert looked at Susan, as if noticing her for the first time. "Can I just say that you look fantastic, Dr Lewis. You're positively glowing!" He paused, considering her. "Now, I may not be a family man, but I am a doctor, and I _know_ that look. Forgive my impudence, but are you…?" He trailed off, and gestured at her tummy with his hand.

Susan stared at Robert in horror. How did he know? She'd only done the test that morning. She hadn't even told Chuck.

"Are you psychic?" She demanded. "How could you tell…?"

Robert laughed again.

"A lucky guess," Robert answered. "Definitely time to start playing the lottery. Don't worry, Dr Lewis. Your secret's safe with me. Congratulations!" He walked off, whistling. Susan watched him go, open-mouthed, wondering when the aliens had replaced her bitter, hateful boss with this half-decent, polite man.

vvvvvv

"Good morning, Jerry!" Robert smiled at the man behind the counter, as he made his way through the ER.

Jerry stared after his boss, trying to remember the last time Romano had wished him a good morning. After casting his mind back, he decided it had never happened.

vvvvvvv

"Bring him over here, let's have a look," Kovac instructed, as the paramedics wheeled another patient into Exam Room 1.

Kovac and Carter worked steadily, assisted by Sam Taggart, explaining to the medical students what they were doing, and asking them questions about the treatment they should give. Robert stood in the corner of the room, watching his colleagues. He was thinking about what Jessie had said in her report about him; '_highly intelligent_' was one phrase which stuck in his mind, along with '_strong evidence of improvement_'. He brushed quickly over '_frustrated and irritable' _and resolved to forget '_emotionally unreachable' _altogether. His mind wandered; what would she be wearing? Would she agree to see him? Could he…

"Doctor Romano, could you come here for a minute, please?" Carter asked, his voice shattering Robert's daydream. Carter glanced up at his boss.

"Of course," Robert said, hastily. He moved clumsily to Carter's side. As he did so, his prosthetic caught the tray of instruments and it clattered to the floor.

"Damn!" Robert swore. "I'm sorry," he continued, "it was an accident!"

Carter and Kovac stared at Robert. He met Sam's eyes. She, too, was looking at him, an unreadable expression on her face.

"I'm really sorry about that," Robert repeated. "I'll get another one." He moved to the drawers in the corner of the room, but Sam beat him to it.

"It's okay," she said, "I've got it." She shooed Robert back in Carter's direction, and began to assemble another tray.

Robert moved back to the patient.

"What have you got for me, Doctor?" He asked Carter.

Suddenly, the machine monitoring the patient's pulse began to whine, as he flat-lined.

"Quick, give me the paddles. Charge to two hundred!" Carter said, as he and Kovac worked on bringing the man back to life.

Robert looked at his colleagues. They seemed perfectly able to manage without him, so he retreated out of the room quietly, his thoughts already returning to Jessie and her report.

"He's asystole," Carter stated, flatly. "Charge to three hundred. Clear!"

The shock jerked the patient, but it did not produce a pulse. Carter tried again. This time the machine beeped, and the patient's heart re-started.

"Okay, bag him – let's get a surgical consult down here, and I want a full blood-work."

Carter stripped off his gloves and moved to the door.

"Is it me," he asked the room, " or did I actually hear Romano _apologize_?"

"Twice," Kovac added, not looking up from the patient.

"I don't think I've ever heard him say the S-word!" Sam grinned, as she helped Luca to put a tube down the patient's throat.

"I didn't think he knew it." Carter deadpanned, as he pushed open the door. "Jerry said earlier that Romano actually wished him a good morning. It's very bizarre. I wonder what's happened to the man we know and love to hate?"

vvvvvv

Robert's good mood continued through the morning, as he thought about when he should go and see Jessie. As lunchtime approached, he considered buying her a sandwich and taking it up to her office, when he heard someone squeal his name. Turning towards the voice, he saw Emily running towards him.

Dropping to a crouch, Robert scooped the little girl up in his arms and gave her a big hug.

"Hey, Little One! How are you? I was just thinking about you!" Robert cried, as Emily wound her arms around his neck.

"Hello, Doctor Romano," said Mr Hutchinson, as he approached them. He moved to hold out a hand, then, realizing that Romano had his hands full, so to speak, changed the handshake to a little wave.

Robert smiled at Emily's parents as they approached him. He hadn't seen Emily for a couple of months and was wondering if he'd see her before Christmas. He'd been keeping a present in his locker just in case she'd turned up at the hospital.

He deposited Emily on the counter, next to where Jerry stood, busy in conversation with Susan Lewis. Emily refused to relinquish her hold on him, and clung to his arm.

"How are you doing?" Robert asked Mrs Hutchinson as she shook his hand.

"Very well, thank you, Doctor. Emily's making great progress. We've been to see Doctor Rhodes a couple of times and she's been a great help."

"Can we see Jessie?" Squealed Emily.

Mr Hutchinson grinned.

"Emily has brought a present for Doctor Rhodes. For Christmas." He dropped his voice to a whisper. "I think she might have brought you one too, Doctor Romano."

Robert smiled at Emily.

"Well, now, isn't that funny? He said. "I might just have one for you, too." He looked at Emily's parents. "How about you guys go to the canteen, and I'll get Emily's present. I'll tell Jessie to meet us there."

The Hutchinsons made their way to the canteen, and Robert realized that the time (and the opportunity) had come for him to speak to Jessie. Swallowing his nerves, he turned to Jerry.

"Jerry, could you do me a favour, please, and ring Dr Jessie Rhodes's office?" Robert asked. "Could you let her know that Emily's here in the canteen, and would like to see her as soon as possible? Thanks."

Susan had been listening to the conversation, and realized that she had to tell Romano that Jessie wasn't in her office. As Robert went to get Emily's present, she intercepted him.

"Um, Doctor Romano, can I have a word?" she asked, hesitantly.

"Of course, Doctor Lewis!" Robert beamed. "If you'll just step into my office…"

He pushed open the door to the employee lounge, and went to his locker. Susan followed him in, and stood at the door.

"I thought you should know, Romano; Doctor Rhodes isn't here." She said.

Robert continued to rummage in his locker, his back to Susan so she couldn't see the look of disappointment which flashed across his face.

"Oh, damn. Emily will be disappointed. Will she be in tomorrow?"

Susan hesitated. How much should she tell Romano? She didn't want to betray a confidence.

"She's gone to Boston." She said, finally.

Robert turned to face Susan.

"Holiday?" he asked.

Susan shook her head, but said nothing.

"So, what? Where's she gone? When will she be back?" Robert persisted.

Susan didn't answer, and looked at her shoes.

"Come on, Doctor Lewis. If you don't want the Iron Bitch to know about Mini-Me in there, I suggest you spill the beans."

Susan's eyes widened at Robert's nickname for Dr Weaver, but he didn't care. In just over a month he'd be gone from this place and it wouldn't matter what he said about Kerry Weaver. He was more interested in Jessie's whereabouts. If she wasn't on holiday, then why had she gone to Boston? He gestured impatiently at Susan, and she sighed. I've got to tell him something, she thought.

"She's got a job interview," Susan muttered.

Robert just stared at Susan. A thousand responses flashed through his mind. He wanted to shake Susan; scream at her. Why? He wanted to know. Why did she want to leave Chicago? Was it me?

"I think that perhaps she felt she wasn't welcome here anymore," Susan added, as if reading Robert's mind. "I just thought you should know." She nodded at Romano, and left the room, hoping she'd done the right thing.

In the employee lounge, Robert was thinking furiously. What was he going to do now? When would he get a chance to tell her? Then he remembered Emily and her parents, waiting patiently to see him. He grabbed Emily's present, and closed his locker forcefully.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" He yelled, kicking the lockers, angrily. So much for a change of luck. He just hoped that Jessie would come back to County before his final shift at the end of December. Otherwise he might never get the chance to apologize.

Shaking his head at the situation, Robert left the lounge. As he passed the desk, Jerry called out.

"Dr Romano, I tried to contact Dr Rhodes, but…" Jerry began.

" I know: she's not here." Robert scowled. "Never mind, Jerry. Go back to eating your body weight in pizza, or whatever it is you do round here!" He glanced round at the other members of staff. "And as for the rest of you, haven't you got any work to do? Come on – you're making the place look untidy!" He stalked off, clutching Emily's present, a sour expression on his face.

Susan moved over to Jerry and patted his arm gently.

"Okay, Dr Lewis," Jerry said. "What on earth did you say to him to cause a mood swing like that?" He looked at Susan, eyebrows raised. Romano's remark had stung a bit, but he knew what to expect from him after all this time. "Oh well," he shrugged, "so much for the spirit of Christmas – seems Ebenezer Scrooge is back with us! Okay, now let's see…" He consulted his watch, then addressed the ER in general, "I think we can safely say Doctor Romano's good mood has officially ended. Who had one-thirty?"

Susan watched Romano's retreating back. She thought about what Jerry had said. Could her news about Jessie have changed his mood? And if so, did that mean…?

Susan grinned to herself. Things were getting interesting.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

"I've had an idea!" announced Susan Lewis, as she sat on the sofa, eating dessert.

Chuck rolled his eyes, and continued to massage her feet.

"Come on then; what's your idea?" He groaned.

Susan sighed contentedly as she finished the last of her ice cream. She proffered the bowl towards Chuck, and closed her eyes.

"I'm going set Jessie up with Romano," she announced.

Chuck stopped what he was doing.

"Um, I thought you said Romano was a class A jerk who deserved everything that happened to him?"

Susan nodded, her eyes still shut. She gestured that Chuck should continue, and he obliged, a look of resignation on his face. He'd learned that when Susan got an idea in her head, God help anyone who got in her way.

"Well, I'm not sure I haven't changed my opinion. He can be such an asshole sometimes, I'm almost tempted not to help him. But I keep thinking about Jessie. You know, just because _I_ wouldn't pick Romano as a lust object, doesn't mean that she can't. And she's really got it bad." She opened her eyes and turned to Chuck. "You know, honey, we can't help who we fall in love with, can we?"

Chuck grinned.

"Very true, babe. So how does Romano feel about Jessie? That's the important question."

Susan sighed.

"Well, I'm not a hundred percent certain, but I'm pretty sure that he feels something for her. I don't know; little things he said, body language, that kind of thing. Call it women's intuition. I think that there could be something between them, if only I could get them in the same room." She paused, thoughtfully. "Whatever Jessie did to upset Romano, he seems to have forgiven her. That little girl came in, do you remember, the one who had her arm amputated? The one I told you about? Anyway, Romano asked Jerry to page Jessie and meet them in the canteen. Now does that sound like a man who doesn't want to see her again? I don't think so." She grinned. "And the clincher is, he was in a brilliant mood in the morning, and then, when I told him that Jessie had gone to Boston, his good mood disappeared. I mean it was almost instantaneous. I think he actually _wanted_ to see Jessie." She turned to Chuck. "What do you think? Man's point of view?"

Chuck sat for a minute, thinking about what Susan had said.

"Well, I reckon you might be right, babe. But you could be confusing a simple need to apologize to her with all consuming love. Be careful. You don't want to break Jessie's heart even more." He moved towards Susan and wrapped his arms around her. "Poor Jessie. I hope it all works out for her."

"It will if I have anything to do with it," Susan muttered, determinedly.

vvvvvv

"I think we should have a party," Susan Lewis announced to Abby Lockhart, as they approached Exam Room 2. She pushed open the door, and Abby followed her in.

"Good morning, Mrs Burton," Susan addressed the patient, kindly. "I'm Dr Lewis; I'm here to take a look at you."

"A party?" asked Abby. "Hello again, Mrs Burton. Could you lean forward please? What sort of party did you have in mind?"

"Well, you know, Christmas is just a couple of weeks away, and I though that perhaps a bunch of us could go to a bar; perhaps some food…that kind of thing." Susan replied, as she listened to the patient's lungs. "I've checked the shift rota, and next Friday night looks pretty good." She glanced down at the patient. "That's lovely, Mrs Burton, thank you," she smiled. Moving round to the end of the bed, she picked up the patient's chart and began to scan it.

"Yeah, a party sounds like a fantastic idea! Friday's the thirteenth, isn't it?" enquired Abby.

Susan nodded.

"That's right," she answered. "Listen, can you let me know when the results of the chest film come back? Mrs Burton, we'll be back to see you later." Susan smiled at her patient and she and Abby left the room. "I'll talk to everyone, see what they think."

vvvvvv

In the ER, Robert was handing out charts. As the week had gone on, he'd thought a lot about what Susan had said. If Jessie was thinking of leaving because of what he'd said, he needed to clarify things before she left. He'd asked around, surreptitiously, and found that she'd returned from Boston the day before, and was back working at her old hospital. Further furtive investigations revealed that she would be back at County a few times between now and Christmas to clear up a few loose ends. I wonder if that's what I am, Robert thought to himself, just another loose end which needs to be tidied away.

He sighed to himself and began to make some notes on one of the charts. He hardly noticed Susan and Luca at the other end of the desk, talking to Abby.

"So anyway," Susan began, keeping her voice low, so Robert couldn't hear, "I was thinking we could all go out next Friday, for a Christmas drink – you know, season of good cheer and all that!"

"Sounds fantastic," Luca said. He motioned to Jerry behind the desk. "How about you, Jerry; you're not working next Friday night, are you?"

Jerry thought about it for a minute.

"Hey, is that the thirteenth? No, I'm not working – where shall we go?"

"There's a new place opened right next to the movie theater on Wisconsin." Abby interjected. "I think it's called 'Dr Watson's'; a friend of mine went there last week, she said it was really nice. We could check that out! What do you think?"

"Sounds great," Susan agreed, "Spread the word!"

vvvvvv

Trying to get Romano alone so she could invite him along, without the others overhearing, was proving almost more trouble than it was worth. Susan had to wait five days before she had a decent opportunity. Almost at the end of her shift, she spotted Robert making coffee in the employee lounge and slipped in to talk to him.

"Hey, Doctor Romano, can I ask you something?"

Robert looked up from his efforts and turned to face Susan.

"How can I help you, Doctor Lewis?" He asked, cordially. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Um, no thanks," Susan replied. She took a deep breath. Here goes nothing, she thought.

"Doctor Romano, you might have heard that we've organized a night out later on this week. I was wondering, are you free on Friday?"

"Um, uh – Friday? Uh yeah, I'm not working. Why?" He asked, suspiciously. "Are you looking for someone to cover your shift?"

Susan shook her head.

"Um, no, actually, I wondered if you wanted to come to this new bar for a Christmas beer. Or two."

Robert frowned. He wondered why Susan was inviting him.

"Well," he began, nervously, "I'm sure you wouldn't want your boss there – playing Scrooge and all that!" He smiled stiffly, and turned his attention back to the coffee.

"Nonsense," Susan smiled. "I'm sure everyone would love to have you there."

Robert snorted with laughter.

"Doctor Lewis, we both know that I'm the last person you all want on your night out."

"Please?" Susan persisted, thinking furiously. "There'll be a whole bunch of us. Luca, Abby, Jerry, Morris, I think, possibly Carter. Malik; Chuny said she'd be there, and some of the other nurses. I think Dr Corday's coming; couple of others. It'll be fun. And Doctor Weaver's working that night!" She nudged Robert gently. "Go on – it's Christmas!"

Robert considered the idea for a minute. He was pleased to hear that Kerry wouldn't be in attendance, and he'd felt a little reassured that Elizabeth was going. At least he'd have one ally.

"I guess, maybe, it might be fun. I know where Watson's is, although I haven't been there." Robert said, uncertainly. He still wasn't sure why Susan wanted to include him in her plans.

"Excellent! So, next Friday at eight, I guess, in Dr Watson's." Susan confirmed. She grinned at Robert. "I guarantee, it'll be an evening to remember!"

"If you say so, Dr Lewis," Robert said dismissively. "Now come on, back to work – we don't want Kerry Weaver coming in here wanting to know what we're discussing, do we!" He smiled at Susan, pleased to be included in the plans. Maybe the next three and a half weeks wouldn't be so bad after all.

vvvvvv

Susan cleared the dishes away, and turned to face Chuck. She'd been telling him about asking Romano to join the gang on their night out.

"So do you think he'll come?" Chuck asked.

"Well, I certainly hope so!" Susan admitted. "It'd be a real shame after all the effort I've made, organizing a night out where I can't have a drink!"

Chuck moved towards her, and wrapped his arms around her.

"Well you've got to look after this little one, haven't you?" He whispered, placing his hands affectionately on her tummy. "Have you told your other colleagues that Romano's coming?"

"Yeah, I let it slip that I'd invited him. They weren't too happy, but I played the old 'season of goodwill' line. I'm sure it'll be fine."

Chuck grinned.

"So, now to invite the lucky lady, or have you already done that?"

"No, I haven't invited her yet." Susan mused. "I've not seen her for a while. I'll just pop down now, if that's okay."

vvvvvv

Susan knocked on the door of Number 3, and waited. After a couple of minutes she heard the door being unlocked, and it swung open to reveal Jessie, glass of wine in her hand.

"Hey, Susan – I was going to come and see you later! How's things?" Jessie asked, ushering her friend in and closing the door.

"Pretty good actually." Susan admitted, shaking her head as Jessie offered her a glass of wine. "Busy at work, but nothing unusual. How was Boston?"

Jessie sat down, on the sofa and considered Susan's question.

"It was really good, Susan," she began. "Basically they want me to start as soon as possible. Running a team, helping to find counsellors, enabling their training, and I'd still get to practise. The money's excellent. Boston looks like a great place, and there's plenty of scope for progress."

Susan smiled at her friend.

"That's fantastic! So are you going to take it?" She asked.

Jessie nodded.

"I've been given until after Christmas to make a decision one way or the other, but, yes, I'm pretty sure I'm going to take it. It's a great opportunity to advance my career, and I think it's time for a change." She looked up at Susan. "But I'd appreciate it if you would keep that to yourself for a while – at least until I hand in my notice."

"Of course!" Susan agreed. "I'm really pleased for you, Jessie. There's only been good reports about your work at County – I know you'll do well. I will miss you though!"

"I'll miss you too, Susan," Jessie replied. "But I won't be going for a while. I'm not going to hand in my notice until January, then I've got to work my notice, and sell or rent the apartment, find somewhere to live in Boston – I reckon it'll be April before I leave. We've got plenty of time to plan visits and talk about names for that baby of yours!"

Susan gasped.

"How do you do that? How could you tell? Romano did exactly the same thing!"

Jessie got up and hugged her friend.

"Congratulations, mate. I'm really pleased for you!"

Susan smiled.

"It's pretty cool," she admitted. "Sometimes I panic about it all, but I know we'll get through it. And Chuck's a great guy."

"He certainly is!" Jessie agreed. She paused, remembering what Susan had said. "So how's Romano? Still angry with the world?"

Susan shrugged, vaguely.

"Not seen him much, to be honest," she lied. "But he promised to keep my pregnancy a secret from Weaver until I chose to tell her myself, so he's not a complete monster."

"I know he's not a monster," Jessie frowned. "He's just screwed up. But he's getting there."

"Well, whatever," Susan muttered, dismissively. She didn't want to talk about Romano. Changing the subject, she chatted about her pregnancy for a bit, and then stood to leave.

"Oh, by the way," she said, nonchalantly, "Do you fancy coming out for a few beers this Friday?"

"Any reason?" Jessie asked "I mean, if you're not drinking… it's not going to be a heavy night, is it?"

"Just a few of the girls; there's a new wine bar that we fancied trying – just thought you might want to come along!" Susan said.

Jessie moved over to the calendar and looked at it briefly.

"Looks like I'm free. In fact, I seem to be free all this weekend," she said. "Friday night would be great. Where are we going?"

"Dr Watson's, near the movie theater. I'll pop a map through your door tomorrow. Any time after about nine." Susan replied, thinking that that would give her enough time to get Romano there and sat down before Jessie arrived.

"Sounds great!" Jessie agreed. "Okay, I'm in!"

Susan grinned.

"I guarantee, it'll be an evening to remember!" she said, triumphantly. "I'll let myself out. See you later!"

The stage had been set. Now all Susan had to do, was hope that the players remembered their lines.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

Robert struggled into his shirt, catching his prosthetic on the cuffs. Cursing softly, he tried again. Eventually he managed to slide the shirt on over his body. He snapped the poppers shut, grateful he didn't have to struggle with buttons. Since his accident, he found that he'd had to make some changes to his wardrobe to make his life easier. Funny how the simplest tasks could become so complicated. Tying shoelaces, for example. So he'd ditched the laces and bought slip-on shoes, trainers with Velcro, and ankle boots with zips, like the ones he was wearing now. They may have been small changes to other people, but they made all the difference to Robert's life.

Shoving his work shirt and trousers into a plastic bag, Robert left the cubicle where he'd been changing, and went to the mirror to check out his reflection. He was feeling a little nervous about the evening; he realized that it would probably be the last time that he would go out with his colleagues, and he was determined to have a nice time. He was glad that Elizabeth was going to be there. And Susan wasn't too awful to him either. She'd told him about Jessie, and he was thankful for that.

Studying his reflection, Robert straightened his shoulders and sucked in his tummy. Not that there was much to suck in, he thought, pleased. Still wearing the same size jeans as I was when I was thirty, he thought, proudly. Mind you, he considered, running his hand over his head, I was just as bald then as I am now. Although that's not necessarily a bad thing, he acknowledged. Bald is probably significantly better than ginger curls.

Robert regarded himself critically. He knew he wasn't God's gift – hey – very few people were lucky enough to look like Kovac, he reasoned, but he had previously always been comfortable with who he was. But that was before. The accident had robbed him of so much more than just an arm. It had taken away his sense of self worth. His dignity. And his ability to perform surgery – the one thing he knew he could do better than almost anyone he'd ever met.

It had also, Robert figured, hampered his luck with women. First Lizzie, then Nurse Hamilton; and now he might never get a chance with Jessie. And yet, he thought suddenly; if he hadn't have stood up, into the tail rotor of the helicopter, he might never have met Jessie Rhodes. Funny how things turn out, he realized.

"Okay, Rocket – you can do this!" He muttered to himself. "Jessie taught you well; seize the day. Take a chance. You never know, you might have a good time!"

He winked at his reflection and left the bathroom.

vvvvvvv

By the time they got to the bar, it was starting to get busy. Susan had arranged for an area to be reserved for them, and they piled round the tables. Someone suggested a kitty and they all put some money in. Luca and Morris went off to get the drinks.

Robert found himself sitting in between Elizabeth and Susan, which pleased him. He tried to chat to Susan, but she seemed distracted by something, and kept looking over his shoulder. So he turned to Elizabeth. They made small talk for a while, and Robert began to relax. He laughed at Jerry's jokes, even the bad ones, and joined in with the drinking games. He was having a pretty good time.

As the evening wore on, he noticed that the kitty was running low. He decided to buy a round of drinks; after all, he earned more than everyone else at the table, and it was a small gesture to show how much he'd appreciated being invited out with them.

"Right! My round, I think!" said Robert, and stood up to go to the bar. "Same again, everyone?" His colleagues nodded, determined to take advantage of Romano's generosity.

"Let me help you with that, Robert," said Elizabeth, also standing. The couple made their way through the crowds to the bar. As they stood waiting to be served, Elizabeth regarded her friend. He looks different from usual, she thought. I wonder if that's a new shirt. It was a blue so dark it was almost inky black. I think he looks more at peace with himself, she decided. His manner had changed, too; almost as if he was happy to be leaving County.

"So, Robert, what are you going to do when you leave?" Elizabeth said, casually, leaning against the bar, and trying not to check out her reflection. The barman approached them and Robert rattled off the order.

Robert turned to face her. She looked at him and smiled, and he remembered why he'd loved her all those years.

"I'm not sure actually, Lizzie," he shrugged. "I don't need to work, certainly not for a while. I might travel for a bit." He paused, thinking to himself. "I hear Boston's nice this time of year."

Elizabeth placed a hand on his arm, and leaned towards him to be heard over the music.

"You won't forget us, will you?" she asked softly. "I'd hate it if you did."

Robert regarded her hand, resting on his arm. His good arm. The one that could easily snake around her waist and pull her towards him. He thought about all the years he'd longed for Elizabeth to give some indication; just a sign that she felt something for him. The fog that Robert thought he'd blown away when he caught Elizabeth in the toilets with Dorsett returned; his thoughts became blurry. What did she mean? Was she telling him she would miss him, or was she telling him that she'd _really_ miss him?

"…If you weren't doing anything, of course..." Elizabeth was saying.

"That'll be thirty three dollars, buddy!" The barman yelled.

Robert turned to Elizabeth, his brow furrowed in confusion

"Huh?" he said.

Elizabeth smiled shyly.

"I said that you could come and spend Christmas with us, if you weren't doing anything else…"

Robert handed some money to the barman, and looked at Elizabeth, thinking about what she'd just said. Out of the corner of his eye he saw someone approach them.

"I've come to help!" announced Jerry, lumbering up to them, a smirk playing across his face. "Oh, look what I found!" His arm appeared from behind his back and he held something in the air, above where Robert and Elizabeth were standing.

Robert glanced up and saw the sprig of mistletoe Jerry had produced. He glanced at Elizabeth, who was looking at him, a half smile on her lips. Time seemed to slow right down and all Robert could hear was the hammer of his own heartbeat, loud in his ears. Should he kiss her?

He looked over at the table where his colleagues were sat. Of course, they were all staring expectantly at them; someone had set this up, and they were eager to see how it played out. Everyone was looking over…everyone except Susan, he noticed. Susan appeared to be signalling to someone near the door. Robert's gaze shifted, to see who Susan was waving at, and his heart skipped a beat.

Jessie stood at the door, shaking the snow out of hair. She caught Susan's wild gesticulations and her eyes swivelled in Robert's direction. Their eyes met, and Robert's whole body tingled. Suddenly, the fog which had descended, cleared, and Robert knew where his heart belonged.

Leaning forward, he placed his hand on Lizzie's waist, and gently kissed her cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Lizzie!" He said, cheerily. Turning towards Jerry, he smiled. "Jerry, could you and Lizzie carry the drinks back to the table, for me? I won't be a minute!"

Moving past Elizabeth, he made his way through the crowds over to where Jessie was standing. He didn't notice Susan's triumphant gesture, or Elizabeth's frown, which deepened when she saw where he had gone. He didn't see anything except Jessie. She looked incredible. The cold had splashed colour on her cheeks and her hair shone in the light.

"Hey," Robert said softly.

"Hey, Doctor Romano." Jessie smiled shyly at Robert.

"I didn't expect you to be here," Robert began, hesitantly. "It's great to see you, Jessie."

Jessie grinned.

"To be honest, I'm not really sure why I am here, but Susan made me promise to turn up. She said it would be 'an evening to remember'; so here I am!" She regarded Robert. "I thought you weren't talking to me," she said.

Robert blushed.

"Yes, well, I need to apologize to you for that. Can we talk?"

"Of course," Jessie replied. She looking round at their surroundings. "Do you want to stay here, or…"

"We could go somewhere a bit quieter." Robert suggested, hastily. Now she was here, he wanted to have her full attention; there was a great deal he needed to say to her.

Jessie nodded and smiled again, and Robert's heart melted. He'd been desperate to speak to her since that afternoon nearly four weeks ago. Now he knew she was looking for another job, it had become even more important to tell her how he felt before she disappeared out of his life forever. Now, finally, he thought, he might get a chance.

"Now promise me you'll stay right here. I have to get my coat." Robert instructed.

"I'm not going anywhere," Jessie affirmed.

Robert threaded his way through the crowd, back to his colleagues. He pulled his coat off the back of his chair, and put it on.

"Right, sorry to break up the party, but I've had a more attractive offer." Robert grinned.

"So I see," Kovac deadpanned.

"Thanks for the drinks, Doctor Romano," Abby chimed, nudging Susan. "Have a great evening!"

Robert smiled at Abby.

"An evening to remember," he murmured. Suddenly, he remembered where he'd heard that phrase before. Looking over at Susan, he winked. 'Thank you', he said softly.

Susan grinned.

"Merry Christmas, Doctor Romano!" she said.

Robert looked at his colleagues; all the people he'd worked with for years. He didn't really hate them, just as they didn't really hate him. And some, like Susan, and Luca, were actually nice people. And there was always Lizzie of course. He was going to miss them.

"Merry Christmas, guys." Robert addressed his colleagues. "I'll see you later."

vvvvvvv

The night air was cold on their faces as they stepped out of the bar but neither of them felt it.

"Where shall we go?" Jessie asked Robert, as they started walking.

Robert thought for a minute.

"I know a great place; it's not far. Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Starving," Jessie admitted. "I didn't have time for lunch."

Robert smiled at her.

"Busy at work?" He asked, curiously. He was desperate to know what had happened in Boston, but was reluctant to tell Jessie that he knew. She might be angry at Susan for telling him.

Jessie nodded, and began to talk a bit about some of her patients. She didn't mention the report, or Romano's behaviour that afternoon in her office. They chatted inanely about work for a while, until Robert gently put his arm on Jessie's and steered her towards a tiny restaurant, down a little side street. The snow was falling steadily, and both were glad to get out of the cold.

Once inside, the warmth hit them like a wall. The restaurant was cosy and inviting, and was more than half full. Quiet music was piped in, and there was a hum about the place that made Jessie feel instantly comfortable. She'd never been here before, but, if the food was as good as the restaurant promised, she'd certainly be returning.

A short man, shorter than Robert, came up to greet them. He was wearing a suit and sporting a truly magnificent moustache. His dark hair was slicked back, and Jessie could tell just from his look that he was French. He couldn't have been more French if he'd been wearing a beret and a string of onions. He looked as if he was the owner; his suit was superbly cut, and his shoes looked expensive.

"Bon soir, Pierre," Robert smiled.

"Ah! Bon soir, Monsieur Robert. C'est charmant pour vous voir encore!" The man looked at Jessie and smiled. "Et vous, mademoiselle, vous êtes très bienvenue!"

Robert turned to Jessie, as if to say something. Suddenly, Jessie spoke.

"C'est très agréable pour être ici!" she said, smiling.

Robert grinned. He should have known that Jessie could speak French.

Pierre showed them to a table in the corner. He took Jessie's coat and held out the chair for her. Then he repeated the process for Robert. Leaving a couple of menus on the table, he retired discreetly, leaving them alone.

Jessie looked round the restaurant. It looked like a great place to bring a date, and she wondered briefly if that was why Robert had brought her here.

"This is one of my favourite restaurants," Robert said, softly, noticing her studying the other diners. "I come here about once a week. Pierre's a great guy and the food is superb." He paused, considering. "And they don't seem to mind that I'm alone. Or that sometimes I get them to cut up my steak." He looked down at the table and toyed with his napkin.

"Jessie, listen, before we eat, I want to say sorry for what happened in your office. For accusing you of trying to get me fired. I know now what really happened." Robert looked up and his eyes met Jessie's. "I acted like a jerk, which I know is not unusual, and I want to make it up to you. I hope you'll accept this dinner as a proper apology."

Jessie squeezed Robert's hand, gently.

"Of course, Romano. Thank you. So what really happened?"

Robert told Jessie about the vote and Lizzie's abstention. He didn't seem too cut up about it, Jessie thought, as she listened to him talk. After a few minutes, a waiter interrupted them to take their order. Hastily consulting the menus, they chose their food.

"I hope you like red wine," Robert said. "Pierre always chooses for me based on what I order. He's not put a foot wrong yet!"

Jessie grinned.

"Sounds excellent!" She said. "I always have terrible trouble trying to decide what's going to be nice. I haven't the heart to say I don't like it, so I usually end up ordering the same thing, you know?"

Robert agreed, and continued his story. Jessie relaxed into her chair, happy just to be with him. Her trip to Boston had done nothing to free her of his spell, and sitting here so close, she was sure he would be able to guess her feelings. She wondered how he would react. Does he like me? she thought? He's being nice, and I think we're having a great time, but I just don't know. Perhaps we can be friends, she wondered. I hope so.

The meal soon arrived, and Robert was right – the food was superb. The wine Pierre had chosen for them was a perfect accompaniment, and Jessie was surprised at the speed they finished one bottle and started on another. Don't want to get too drunk, she thought. I might leap on him, and that would be messy.

Robert ate his food, making sure that Jessie was enjoying hers. He couldn't believe how this evening was turning out. This beautiful, kind, interesting woman was sitting here having dinner with him – Robert Romano – and she seemed to be having a good time. Perhaps, he thought, if the evening goes well, I could ask her out again.

They chatted through the meal, oblivious to everything else except each other. After the waiter had taken their plates away, Jessie sat back contentedly. She idly hoped Romano would order dessert. Not that she was hungry, she just didn't want the evening to end.

As if reading her mind, Robert signalled the waiter to bring the menu.

"I understand that the chocolate mousse is to die for," he said nonchalantly, hoping that Jessie wasn't too full for anything else. He didn't want the evening to end, and he thought he'd suggest dessert, on the off-chance.

Jessie groaned in mock despair.

"Don't tell me that!" she protested. "We're going to have to try it now, otherwise we'll never know. Can we have a ten minute breather first?"

Robert nodded in agreement. Another hour in her company, he thought. And then we can have coffee; well, Jessie can have tea, and I'll have coffee. And then…then maybe she'll let me walk her home. I don't think she's far from here. I remember we came this way when the taxi took us home after that dinner. I hope she doesn't ask Pierre to call her a cab.

"I can't believe I've been in Chicago all this time, and I've never been here before," Jessie mused, as she scanned the restaurant's little business card on the table. "I think I must only live about ten minutes' walk away."

"Perhaps you'll allow me the pleasure of walking you home after the meal," Robert said, unable to hide a smirk.

vvvvvv

By the time they left the restaurant, it had already closed, and the staff were waiting patiently for Robert and Jessie to leave. Robert paid the bill, tipping Pierre and his waiters handsomely for their troubles. Pierre winked at Robert as he helped Jessie with her coat, and Robert had to bite his lip not to laugh.

The snow was still falling, but it was not nearly as heavy. The snow had settled though, and, after nearly slipping twice, Jessie had accepted Robert's help. She took his arm gently, and they began to walk home. All too soon, Jessie stopped outside a handsome building. I recognize this, Robert though, suddenly. We're here. He needed to ask now before it was too late.

"I've had a great evening," Robert began. "We should do it again," he suggested.

"I'd really like that," Jessie said, softly. Her eyes met his, and she looked shyly away, biting her lips, nervously. Her body felt like it was on fire beneath his stare, and she could hear her heart thumping in her ears. _Kiss me, you idiot_! She thought, fiercely.

Robert stared at her mouth, groaning inwardly at the sight of her red lips, soft and inviting. _Kiss her, you idiot!_ His brain screamed at him.

Barely registering his actions, Robert reached out and gently pulled Jessie towards him. Leaning forward, he kissed her, tenderly. He heard Jessie gasp in surprise and he could hardly believe it when she didn't pull away. Instead she pressed her body against his, and responded to his kiss. They wrapped their arms around each other and stood there for a moment, lips locked in a warm, passionate embrace.

Slowly, Jessie pulled away from Robert. He tightened his grip round her waist, reluctant to release her so soon, and regarded her calmly.

"Wow," Jessie managed.

"We should _definitely_ do that again!" Robert smiled.

"Definitely." Jessie pulled him close for another kiss; this one more passionate than the first. When they both surfaced for air, their faces were flushed, and it wasn't from the cold. In fact, they hadn't noticed that it had stopped snowing. The sky had cleared and the stars twinkled over the city.

Oblivious to everything around him except the woman in his arms, Robert held Jessie tightly, his face buried in her hair. She smelled so good, he thought. Jessie nuzzled his neck gently with her teeth and he groaned softly.

"Okay," he whispered into her neck, his voice husky with desire, "I am going to have to go home now, before we get carried away, and your neighbours complain about us. Are you working tomorrow? Can I see you?" He straightened up and looked at Jessie. She had a silly grin on her face and he knew he was wearing a similar expression.

"No, I've got the weekend off," Jessie said, softly. "what about you?"

"Same here," Robert admitted. "Would you like to spend the weekend with me?" He asked, shyly.

"I'd like that very much, Doctor Romano." Jessie answered, snuggling close to him.

Robert kissed the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her hair. She wants to spend time with me! His whole body tingled with delight at the thought. He couldn't believe his luck.

"So why don't you come over tomorrow for breakfast?" Jessie asked. "We can decide what to do then!"

Robert murmured assent, and kissed her again.

"I want to do this right, Jessie," he whispered. "I really like spending time with you. It just feels so comfortable, so natural, so…"

"Right." Jessie finished his sentence for him. "I know, Robert. I feel it too." She pulled back slightly to look at his face. "And that's why I'm not inviting you in now. I don't want to rush this and screw it up. I hope that's okay."

Robert nodded.

"You're worth waiting for, Jessie Rhodes," Robert grinned, his smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat. "But I am going to have to have a very cold shower when I get home!"

Jessie giggled, shoving Robert playfully.

"You're not the only one!" She exclaimed. "Now where do you live? Do we need to get you a cab? It's usually easy if you stand on Bleaker Street."

Robert leaned in and kissed Jessie's cheek.

"I'll be fine," he said. "I'm only about ten minutes away. The walk will do me good. I'll see you tomorrow." He released her, reluctantly, and watched as she climbed the steps to her apartment. "Sleep well!" He whispered.

"You too, Robert!" Jessie grinned. "Can't wait for tomorrow!" She looked back at Robert, scarcely able to believe that this was really happening. As she smiled at Robert, he moved, quickly, up the steps towards her, and kissed her again.

"I'm sorry – I just can't get over this – I'm just waiting for the bubble to burst, and you'll tell me it's all a joke," Robert muttered. "So I'm trying to kiss you as much as possible before you tell me to get lost!"

"Listen to me, Robert Romano," Jessie began, firmly, trying in vain to keep a straight face with Robert kissing her neck. "I'll still be here in the morning. I promise. I'm in number 3, remember? I'll see you any time after about nine."

"I'll be here at five past!" Robert vowed, moving back. He descended the steps, and moved away. "I had a lovely time, Jessie. Thank you. Doctor Lewis was right. It certainly has been an evening to remember!"


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

The next ten days passed in a blur for Robert. True to his word, he was at Jessie's door at five past nine. The look on Jessie's face, when she opened the door and saw the huge bunch of flowers he was holding, was definitely worth the trauma he'd faced trying to carry both them and the breakfast ingredients he'd stopped to pick up on the way.

They spent the day talking, listening to music, eating, kissing, and laughing at each new topic they found they had in common.

"I can't believe you like Led Zeppelin," Robert had said, at least half a dozen times. "You're just a kid. How old are you?"

"Thirty-two," Jessie had intoned, "ten years younger than you; I know, I know. Now put the CD down and come over here, old man…"

Robert couldn't remember the last time he'd had so much fun, and it was with reluctance on both sides when he left Jessie's apartment in the early hours of the morning.

He was back early Sunday morning, laughing at Jessie as she opened the door, wearing her bathrobe and a sleepy expression.

"Come on!" he'd said. "We've got the whole day together! Let's go and explore!"

Grumbling at Robert's enthusiasm so early in the morning, Jessie had taken a quick shower. As she'd dressed, she could smell breakfast cooking. Robert had obviously orientated his way round her kitchen. She smiled to herself at how comfortable she felt in Robert's company, and at how she liked the fact that he felt comfortable in hers.

After breakfast, Robert had taken Jessie out, and they'd spent the day exploring Chicago; the museums, parks, shops, and bars. It was another late night, and, as Robert turned the key in the door of his cold, empty house, he wondered how he was going to survive the next two weeks of back-to-back shifts, only seeing Jessie for a couple of hours at a time. Still, he reasoned; after his last shift, he would be free to spend every minute of the day with her.

As the weekend had progressed, Robert had realized that, more than anything, he _wanted_ to spend every minute of the day with her.

vvvvvv

Robert coasted through the week on autopilot. When his shifts finished, he went to see Jessie. When it got late, he went home to sleep. When he woke up, he went back to work. He smiled a lot, when he wasn't yawning, and his colleagues were delighted to see their previously snarky boss in a good mood that lasted longer than a morning.

Susan had discreetly not asked Robert about what had happened with Jessie. Robert presumed that she'd already asked Jessie (which was true, of course – first thing Monday morning, Susan had come downstairs and demanded coffee and the full story!) and didn't say anything. But they exchanged a smile, and pleasant words, and Susan was happy that her boss and her friend had found each other.

By the time Christmas Eve arrived, Robert had almost got used to his routine. He'd been trying to ignore the fact that he had just a few shifts left until he left County for good, and was just pretending that it was yet another Christmas.

He'd also been trying to find the courage to ask Jessie about Boston. Every evening, as he made his way to her apartment after his shift, he wondered if this was the evening he'd mention it. But one look at her, and he knew he couldn't do it. What if she told him she was leaving? How would he be able to let her go, now he'd found her? Jessie hadn't mentioned anything and he figured that maybe she'd not been offered the job. But that didn't stop him wanting to know, and as he left the hospital, he wondered again whether today would be the day he'd be able to ask her.

Jessie had made some pasta for dinner, and they ate in the kitchen, both gossiping about work. Robert thought they were just like a married couple, talking about their day at the office, and he smiled to himself at the image.

"So what are you doing tomorrow?" He asked.

Jessie cleared away the plates, and turned on the dishwasher.

"Well, not much," she admitted. "I've decided to do a shift in the homeless shelter; the one a couple of blocks from County, from midday until about four o'clock. You know, serving Christmas dinner and all that. Then I'm going to spend the evening with Susan and Chuck. They've invited me over for a Monopoly marathon!" She grinned. "Course, what they don't know is that I was the Monopoly champion from 1985 to 1989 in my house. They are going to get their arses kicked!"

Robert laughed.

"Remind me never to challenge you to Monopoly." he joked. "How's your chess?"

Jessie turned away and busied herself with the cleaning.

"So-so," she muttered, trying to keep a straight face.

"Okay, well then, chess it is. I'll bring my chess set next time I come over," said Robert, seriously.

Jessie turned back to face him.

"Okay, but I warn you, I'm not very good," she said solemnly.

They settled down to watch some TV. After about an hour or two, Robert started to yawn. He looked discreetly at his watch, it was just after nine.

"I think I'm going to have to go home, sweetheart," he whispered, taking Jessie's hand.

"Would you like to stay?" Jessie muted the TV, and turned to face him.

Robert's stomach leaped into his mouth and his thoughts whirled furiously.

"Um, uh, I…well, I've got to, you know, get up early. And I'm, um, I'm pulling a double shift tomorrow. It's probably better if I go home, you know, get some sleep." Robert stammered. He stood up hurriedly, and looked around for his coat.

Jessie nodded. A frown crossed her face, but it passed so quickly Robert wasn't even sure he'd seen it.

"Well, yes, you're probably right." She muttered. "Um, am I seeing you tomorrow?"

Robert sighed deeply.

"Well, as I said, I've got a double tomorrow. I probably won't be much use to anyone after that. Then I've got a single, and then another double." He shrugged. "Those are the shifts you're given when Kerry Weaver draws up the rota, I guess."

He moved over toward Jessie and took her in his arms.

"It might be easier if I don't see you until after my last day. Not ideal, but otherwise I'll just fall asleep at work. Is that okay with you?"

Jessie just wrapped her arms around him. She buried her head in his chest and he kissed her hair.

"Fine," Jessie muttered into his shirt. "I'll see you in a couple of days, then."

vvvvvv

As Robert walked home, he reflected on what had just happened. He couldn't believe what he had done – he'd never turned down the opportunity to spend the night with a woman before. He wondered what it would be like to make love to Jessie. Why did he refuse her? I'm in love with her, he thought. I can't stop thinking about her. I want to be with her all the time. Why did I walk away? Am I crazy?

Nonsense, Robert, he told himself sternly. You've just got an early start tomorrow. If you stayed, and took her to bed, you wouldn't be able to spend any time with her in the morning. That's no way to start a relationship. Disappearing off like a one night stand. You did the right thing. Robert pulled his coat tighter around him, and put his hands in his pockets. The wind whipped across his face, and he was grateful for his woolly hat.

He knew, deep down, that, legitimate though his excuses were, the real reason why he'd run away was because he was terrified. He was frightened that Jessie would take a look at his body and not want to touch him. Robert knew he was being irrational, but since the accident, he'd not slept with anyone, and he was genuinely scared that, instead of Jessie being impressed with his muscles, she would realize just what she'd chosen, and decide she'd made a mistake. Robert had always taken care of his body. He quite enjoyed working out, and before the accident, he'd always received nothing but compliments whenever he took off his shirt. But that was before. He'd had two arms back then.

As Robert walked, he considered how Jessie must have felt when he turned her down. The old Robert wouldn't have given anyone else's feelings a second thought, but then, he admitted, the old Robert had never felt like this. Robert knew that he'd probably upset Jessie more than she'd let on. He'd seen that look on her face, he was sure. And he knew he had to do something about it.

By the time he got to his front door, Robert had made a decision. He would see Jessie tomorrow; he knew where she would be. And he would apologize. He wasn't going to screw this up, just because of a simple misunderstanding, and his own lack of confidence. He was Rocket Romano, and by God, he was going to get this right. As he locked the door, he sent up a quick prayer. Help me get this right, he thought, fervently. Don't let me mess this one up. This one's important.

vvvvvv

Christmas day dawned bright and sunny but Jessie felt anything but cheerful. She'd spent half the night unable to sleep, wondering why Romano had run off so quickly. Is it me? she kept thinking. Did I do something wrong? Does he have a problem with my disability? Surely not…but why did he leave?

The dark circles under her eyes had faded slightly by the time she made her way to the homeless shelter, but her thoughts continued to whirl. The past ten days had been the most fun she'd had in a long time, and she couldn't imagine how she would feel if Romano suddenly decided that he didn't want to continue this relationship. She knew he wasn't like most guys, but then, she'd never been interested in most guys. Romano made her feel special, and despite her trying to resist her feelings, she'd fallen in love.

Now it looked like it was all coming apart.

vvvvvv

Robert checked his watch. It was ten to one. Time to take a break.

"Dr Kovac, I've got to pop out for an hour or so. I'm presuming I can leave you in charge and not come back to find the ER burned to the ground?" Robert asked Luca, as he slipped off his white coat.

Luca looked up, grinning.

"I'll try and keep the chaos to a minimum" he said. He'd enjoyed working with Romano the last couple of weeks. Now he knew that Jessie was the object of his affections, he'd seen both her and his boss in a different light. Robert's good mood had been infectious, and Jessie was a lovely girl. Just right for someone like Robert, Luca thought. Keep him on his toes.

Robert grabbed his coat and left the hospital. He walked the two blocks to the homeless shelter briskly, and as he stood outside, he thought about how lucky he was that his life had turned out the way it had. Despite the accident, Robert knew he was luckier than most. He'd been well-educated, he was bright. He'd worked hard at medical school, and he'd had a career which he'd thoroughly enjoyed, and at which he'd excelled. Even now, with only one arm, and unemployment just days away, he knew he'd be okay. There were so many people out there who weren't as fortunate as he was, and as he watched them make their way inside for a their first hot meal in days, he resolved that he would spend next Christmas doing what Jessie was doing now. He hoped fervently that Jessie would be doing it with him.

Pushing open the door, Robert's nostrils were assailed by a cacophony of odours. He spotted Jessie straight away. She was serving vegetables. Her hair was up out of the way, and Robert wondered briefly why she didn't wear it that way more often. He was filled with a sudden urge to rush over and kiss her neck.

Robert still found these new sensations confusing. Even with Elizabeth, he'd never felt quite so…so captivated by another person. It was strange to experience these emotions, but, Robert realized, it felt pretty good.

As if sensing his stare, Jessie looked over in his direction. A look of confusion crossed her face. Why is he here? She thought.

"Excuse me," Jessie whispered to the helper next to her, "I've just got to talk to someone. I'll be back in just a minute."

She moved past her colleagues, and walked over to where Robert was standing.

"I thought you weren't going to see me today," she said, shortly.

"Can we talk?" Robert asked. "I won't keep you long."

Jessie nodded. She motioned to Robert to follow her. When they were outside, Robert took her hand in his.

"Listen, Jessie. I need to apologize. Again. That's twice in as many weeks, which is probably a record." He paused. "About last night. I handled it all wrong. I should have told you the truth."

Robert blushed and looked away briefly.

"I should have told you that; well, it's been a while since I've done this, and I want everything to be just perfect." He looked back at Jessie. "I don't want to have to leave you, to get out of bed at five in the morning to go to work." Kissing Jessie's hand, he murmured, "I am desperate to take you to bed, but I want to wait until the timing is right."

Jessie blushed and lowered her eyes.

"I thought you didn't want me." She began. "I got all paranoid. After Craig and everything. It's ridiculous, I know, but I…"

Robert laughed.

"It's not ridiculous. I have the same fears. I thought you wouldn't want me because I only have one arm. How silly is that?" He drew her close to him. "So how about this. My last shift is on Saturday. How about I come over afterwards, and I'll stay. We can spend the rest of the weekend together. Would that be okay?"

Jessie smiled, and wound her arms around him.

"That sounds great!" she said, contentedly.

Robert tilted her chin up slightly, and kissed her.

"Good. Now, you – get back to work. These guys are hungry!"


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Robert sighed to himself as he snuck another glance at the clock. Five o'clock. Was this shift ever going to end? Just another hour and he'd be out of here. For good.

"Robert!" He heard a voice call, and looked round to see Elizabeth, coming towards him.

"Hey, Lizzie!" Robert said, cheerfully. "How are you? What are you doing down here, in the ER?"

"I'm here for a consult," Elizabeth explained. Drawing Robert aside, she lowered her voice, conspiratorially.

"So - your last shift. How do you feel?"

Robert shrugged.

"Tired mostly. This is my 24th hour and I'm looking forward to going home. Did you have a nice Christmas?"

"It was lovely, thank you Robert." Elizabeth answered. "Ella had lots of presents, and I spent the day with my feet up watching TV. It was bliss." She paused. "Listen, Robert. I've been meaning to ask you something. You and Jessie Rhodes. Are you, you know, together?"

Robert's face lit up in a massive grin.

"Yeah, I guess we are. I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out the other day, you know, when we were at Watson's. I'm off to see her when I finish here."

"Is it serious?" Elizabeth asked.

"I hope so," Robert replied, honestly. "she makes me feel…well…whole again, actually. Like she's the part of me that I'm missing."

"I'm really happy for you, Robert." Elizabeth smiled at her friend. It was great to see him so cheerful.

"Well, thanks, Lizzie. I'd suggest a double date, but I'm not so sure I could spend any length of time with Dr Dorsett." Robert quipped.

Elizabeth blushed, and looked away.

"Actually, I found out that Dorsett is married. I'm not seeing him any more."

Robert tried unsuccessfully to hide a smirk.

"Don't look at me like that!" Elizabeth punched Robert's arm, playfully. "Okay, so you were right about him!" She sighed and met Robert's gaze. "You know, sometimes, I just wish Mark hadn't left me. I want what we had together. I just miss him so much." She blinked back tears and shook her head. "I wish he was still here."

Robert patted Elizabeth's arm, gently.

"You'll get through this, Lizzie," he said, softly.

Elizabeth nodded and hugged Robert tightly.

"Take care of yourself, Robert," She said. "You keep in touch, now won't you? And you tell Jessie that she'd better look after you, or she'll have me to answer to!"

Robert smiled.

"I reckon she'll do just fine."

vvvvvv

With just five minutes to go, Robert decided to get changed. He stood at his locker, loading up his rucksack. I can't believe it's all about to end, he thought. I saw myself here for another twenty years. He snorted to himself. Of course, I never saw myself with only one arm, but hey, who knew?

As he was packing, he heard the door open, and turned to see Kerry, leaning against her crutch, looking at him.

Robert turned his back to her, and concentrated on his locker.

"Hello Kerry!" He said, cheerfully. "Have you come to escort me off the premises?"

"I just came to wish you luck with the future. Have you any idea what you're going to do?" Kerry asked, curiously.

"Well, I thought I'd devote my time to finding a new way to make your life a misery," Robert answered. He slammed his locker door and slipped his coat on. "I thought perhaps I could become a senator and oppose gay marriage or something!"

Kerry ignored the sarcasm.

"Seriously, Robert. Have you made any plans?" She persisted.

"Seriously, Kerry," Robert mimicked. "Well, firstly, I'm going home to take my beautiful girlfriend to bed. Want to come and watch?" He asked, nastily.

Kerry tried again.

"Look Robert, it was unfortunate how things turned out…"

Robert pushed open the door, and left the lounge. Kerry followed on his heels.

"…I'm sure if circumstances had been different…" she was saying.

Robert stopped so suddenly, Kerry almost ran into him. He spun on his heel, and stuck out his hand. Kerry shook it; a reflex action.

"Thank you, _Doctor_ Weaver, for doing your utmost to make my life hell. Thank you for the years of constant backbiting and deceit. Thank you for engineering the vote that got me kicked out of this goddamn place. Thank you for introducing me to Jessie Rhodes." Robert paused. "Now _that_ one, I actually mean."

Turning away from Kerry, he walked towards the exit.

"Goodbye, Kerry." He called, over his shoulder. "You are the one thing I will _not_ miss about this damn place." Without looking round, he raised his prosthetic, middle finger standing to attention, and walked out.

At the desk, Jerry laughed. He hadn't a clue what was going on, but he was enjoying the scene anyway.

Outside, Robert took a deep breath. Finally free, he thought. As he took a last look at County, a building which had been his home, and his prison, for so long, he caught a glimpse of a white coat, in the gap between two of the buildings. He approached quietly, sniffing the air. Hmm, he thought. I recognize that smell.

He reached out, lightning quick, and grabbed the white coat, dragging its occupant into the open.

"Morris! What a surprise to find you here when there's work to be done! You really are the most incompetent doctor I have ever had the misfortune to meet." He shook Morris roughly.

"Hey, Doctor Romano," Morris coughed. "I was just, um, I mean, I was…"

"I can see damn well what you're doing." Robert jeered. "Now hand it over."

Morris frowned in confusion.

"I don't know what you mean, Doctor Romano," he began.

"Don't play the innocent with me," Robert snarled. "Give it here before I smack you over the head with this." He waved his prosthetic under Morris's nose. "Now!"

Morris sniffed disconsolately, and handed the bag of marijuana to Robert.

"Now go and report to Kerry Weaver. Tell her I sent you." Robert said, dismissively. Watching Morris walk off, he shook his head, despairingly. Was this what the ER was coming to? That idiot doctor would probably make Chief Resident one day and he couldn't even think and chew gum at the same time. God only knows how he made it through medical school.

Tucking the drugs into his trouser pocket, Robert shrugged. Oh well, he thought. Not my problem any more. He turned and walked out without a backwards glance. Home, he thought. Home to Jessie, and to whatever the future holds.

vvvvvv

Jessie greeted him with a kiss, and a glass of wine. This is the life, he thought. They made small talk for a while, but he quickly noticed that she seemed distracted.

"Jessie, is something wrong?" He enquired, concerned.

Jessie sighed, and sank down on the sofa.

"Well, not as such. But I need to talk to you."

Robert's stomach turned over. So _now_ we're going to talk about it, he thought. He sat down beside her.

"Is this where you tell me that you're moving to Boston?" He asked, quietly.

Jessie met his gaze and looked away.

"I wondered if you knew…" she began, "I've been wanting to tell you for weeks."

"So you're really leaving?" Robert held his breath; he didn't really want her to answer.

"It's a great opportunity," Jessie admitted. She looked back at Robert. His expression gave nothing away.

"So are you going?" Robert persisted.

Jessie shrugged.

"Maybe, yes."

Robert's heart lurched.

"Just like that?" He snapped. "So, what about this? Is it just a bit of fun to you?"

Jessie shook her head.

"No. Robert, you know that's not true. But I wanted to talk about _you_. What are you going to do now you've left County?"

Robert snorted, derisively.

"Say goodbye to you, apparently."

Jessie held up a hand.

"Robert, listen to me. I've been offered the chance to help to create a team of professionals. People who know about amputation, people who can do what I do. The hospital have asked me to assemble a team. It'll be the first of its kind in the country. Pioneering. A chance to make a difference for amputees everywhere. I just wondered if you fancied it."

"Fancied what?" Robert asked, confused.

"Doing what I do." Jessie replied. "Counselling. Helping amputees. Trying to make people see that life doesn't have to end when you lose a limb. Think about how you can help people. Like Emily; look how much you helped her."

"I'm not sure I understand you," Robert said, honestly. "What is it you're offering?"

Jessie looked at him.

"Look, Robert, as of now, you're unemployed." She leaned forward and took his hand. Robert let her, his fingers caressing hers, gently. "I know you've got lots of money, and probably don't have to work again for a while, but I'm asking you if you're interested in a job."

"In Boston?"

"Yes, in Boston." Jessie said, patiently. Why couldn't he see that this was a great opportunity?

Robert withdrew his hand and stood up.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked, looking down at Jessie.

Jessie sighed.

"Actually, it's not me. The hospital requested that I offer you an interview. Your reputation as a surgeon has preceded you. They'd heard about your accident, and when I told them I was doing a report on you, they asked how you were doing. I told them what I thought; that I could see you doing this job, that you might have potential. They asked me to consider you for a position here – I think their actual words were 'What a coup it would be to employ Rocket Romano', and I said I would raise it with you when I next saw you. I didn't tell them your last words to me were 'Fuck you and your report'."

Robert had the grace to look embarrassed.

"But I don't know anything about counselling." Robert pointed out. He sat down next to Jessie, and reached for her hand.

Jessie shook her head.

"No, you see – you don't have to be able to do it now. You can learn. It will take a couple of years to get the qualifications. And although the hospital would pay for the course, you wouldn't be earning anything. You'd do work experience. But you said yourself that you don't need to work for a while, so it wouldn't be a hardship."

"And I'd be working for you?" Robert asked, his fingers entwining with Jessie's.

Jessie smirked.

"Is that a problem? Honestly, Robert, I don't know. Two years is a long time. I might not be your boss by then."

Robert frowned, thinking to himself.

"It's such a complete life change," he muttered.

Moving towards him, Jessie took him in her arms.

"And what was your accident? If that wasn't a chance to start again, I don't know what is. Look, Robert, it's up to you. No-one's saying you have to take the job, just go and have an interview. See what you think." She kissed him gently. "This could be the next chapter in your story."

Robert pulled away from Jessie and regarded her calmly.

"So what about you, Jessie? Are you going to Boston?"

Jessie sighed, and looked thoughtful.

"I'd like to," she began. "It's such a great opportunity; really good money, interesting, challenging. It could be a life-changing career move." She paused and met Robert's gaze. "But I also like it here, in your arms," she continued, honestly. "And if you ask me not to go, then I'll have to think about not taking the job, and staying here."

Robert smiled at her frankness.

"Can I think about it?" he asked.

"Of course you can!" Jessie answered. "Now, why don't you tell me why, exactly, you _reek_ of marijuana!"

vvvvvv

They'd changed the subject and talked about other things. Robert told Jessie about what he'd said to Kerry, and finding Morris outside. Then they fixed dinner and watched a bit of TV. After dinner, Robert proceeded to lose three games of chess in quick succession, and Jessie slyly admitted that perhaps she was slightly better at chess than she'd first let on.

As the evening wore on, Robert realized that he'd not showered since the start of his last shift. Surreptitiously, he sniffed at himself. Hmm, not good, he thought.

"Hey, Jessie," he began, casually, " mind if I take a shower? Twenty-four hours straight can leave a guy a bit worse for wear, you know?"

Jessie grinned.

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but now you mention it…" She ducked as Robert threw a cushion at her. "I'm kidding. Of course you can. Why don't you use the one in there?" She said, pointed towards her bedroom. "The shower in the bathroom is little more than a trickle. I need to call someone out in the New Year. There are towels in the chest at the end of the bed."

Robert murmured his thanks and sauntered into the bedroom. After a few minutes, Jessie heard the shower start. She thought about the evening ahead, and wondered if the butterflies in her stomach were nerves or excitement.

The shower stopped, and Jessie waited for patiently for Robert to emerge, all clean and fluffy. After about fifteen minutes, she wondered if she should check on him. Perhaps getting dry and dressed was still a struggle, she mused. She remembered how long it had taken her to manage to do her jeans up, after her accident. Having one arm wasn't easy at the best of times.

"Hey, Romano, are you all right in there?" She stood up and moved slowly towards the bedroom. "Do you need a hand!"

Gently pushing open the bedroom door, she could see Robert, lying fast asleep on her bed, his modesty protected by just a towel.

"Hmm…" Jessie muttered to herself, "looks like that's all I'm gonna get this evening."

She went over to the bed and looked down at Robert. Despite the absence of his arm, he looked to be in good shape. His right arm was curled across his body, and the outline of an impressive bicep was clearly visible. Amazing what a doctor's coat can disguise, she thought, idly. Jessie realized that regardless of his height, Robert was probably pretty strong.

A soft line of sandy (well, okay, Jessie admitted; it was ginger) hair ran down his stomach, disappearing beneath the towel. Groaning softly to herself, Jessie took a deep breath, and summoned every ounce of self control she possessed to resist the urge to lift up the towel. Instead, she moved the covers so that he would be warm, and turned off the bedside lamp.

Gently tracing his brow with her fingertips, she thought about the change in the man since they'd first met more than seven months previously. The old Romano was surly, obnoxious, snarky, bitter, resentful…the list was endless. This Romano was, admittedly, still a bit of a jerk; some of his hang-ups lingered, but he was so much more relaxed and mellow; more at peace with himself. He'd almost come to terms with everything that had happened to him. Jessie considered briefly that maybe she had had something to do with this transformation.

Wandering back into the living room, Jessie sat down and began flicking through the TV channels. So many stations, so little on, she thought. Rochester leaped up on to the sofa, and she stroked him gently. She cast her mind back to earlier in the evening and their conversation about Boston. She wondered if Robert would agree to come. She hoped that he would realize that he didn't need to stay in Chicago. That he would grasp the chance to start again and rebuild his life. After all, not many people who'd suffered as he had were offered such a great job opportunity. Jessie hoped fervently that Robert would realize that life doesn't have to end when you lose a limb. In fact, it might just turn out to be a new beginning…

vvvvvv

Robert woke suddenly, and sat up in the dark. Where am I? He thought. As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, he remembered what had happened; he'd taken a shower, and had fallen asleep on Jessie's bed. Looking round, he could just make out the sleeping form lying next to him. Jessie's arm was flung back over her head and her hair was fanned out over the pillow. She had a serene smile, and Robert was struck by how cute she looked. Then she snored gently.

Robert chuckled softly. It made a nice change to have a woman in his bed; or, more accurately, be in a woman's bed. He nudged Jessie gently, and she obediently turned onto her side, so that she was facing him. Robert went to lie down, and as he did so, his towel slipped and he realized that he was naked. Sliding quietly out of bed, he found his bag, and a clean pair of jockey shorts. He struggled into them, and decided to brush his teeth, while he was out of bed.

Lying back down beside Jessie, Robert watched her quietly. He thought about what they had talked about earlier. He'd finally plucked up the courage to ask about Boston. Her answer hadn't been one he was expecting. A job offer; a chance to start afresh. Rolling over on to his back, Robert stared into the darkness. Should I go? He thought. Is it the right move? He cast his mind back to little Emily; so broken and scared, until he'd helped her. Okay, so he hadn't been able to perform the surgery to amputate (or save) her arm, and he hadn't built the prosthetic limb she was now wearing, but in his own way, he'd helped her come to terms with what had happened. In a way, Emily had adjusted quicker than he had.

Robert lay, thinking about the future. Beside him, Jessie murmured in her sleep. She turned over so her back was to him. Turning so he was facing her, Robert thought about how great the past few weeks had been. He knew that it would be wrong for him to tell Jessie not to go. And, he realized, he would be a fool to let her leave without him. She had rescued him from himself. He couldn't be without her.

Eventually, his eyes began to close, and he moved closer to Jessie so he could wrap his right arm around her. She sighed, contentedly, and leaned back into his chest.

Just before sleep overtook him, Robert's confusion cleared. He knew what he was going to do.

vvvvvv

Jessie woke first, and was surprised to find herself pinned by Robert's arm. She snuggled into him, and pulled his arm tighter around her. Robert mumbled and stirred. He pulled her closer and kissed her, gently.

"Morning, my love," he whispered. "Thanks for looking after me last night. I'm sorry I fell asleep. I know last night was supposed to be…you know. Can I make you some tea to apologize?"

Jessie looked over her shoulder at him and grinned.

"That would be magic!" She sighed.

Robert leapt out of bed, and disappeared to make some tea. Jessie marvelled at his thoughtfulness. She plumped up the pillows. Rochester sauntered into the bedroom. He jumped up onto the bed, and sat on Jessie's ankles, purring contentedly.

After a few minutes, Robert returned, carrying two mugs in his right hand. Jessie took them from him, and he slid back into bed. He took back his cup, and sipped it cautiously before placing it on the bedside table. Jessie placed her own cup down, and lay back against the pillows.

Turning to face Jessie, Robert lay back down, and reached for her hand.

"Listen, Jessie; about what we were talking about last night." He paused. "I've made a decision. I'll come to Boston, but on one condition."

Jessie smirked.

"Look, Robert; the cat is coming too. That's non-negotiable, I'm afraid!"

Robert grinned but said nothing. He drew Jessie closer to him.

"Okay, Romano," Jessie said. "What's the condition?"

Robert looked down at the woman he loved. His heartbeat pounded in his ears.

"Marry me?" He asked, simply.

vvvvvvvv

_To all of you who made it this far... thank you so much for reading my Fan Fiction. It feels so good to finally share the story that I've been wanting to tell, ever since 'Freefall' and that damn helicopter!_

_If you've enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it, please review and let me know. And tell your friends! (And if you thought it was rubbish, please let me know too!)_

_Special thanks to_ _Vanessah, my very first reviewer, and also to Rocketlover for all her praise and encouragement. A special mention must go to BubbaChunkWillis, for his guidance and direction._

_This Fan Fiction is for Abi, who always believed I could do it._

_For Paul McCrane, who deserved so much more than he was given._

_And for Clive. _

_RJ Valentine, __2006._


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